Two Timing Widower

Hello lookoutworld,

well your widower has told you already that he's not ready to settle down
and likes to date more than one woman. He's being honest with you which
means he's not two timing you and either you accept his lack of commitment or you walk away. The choice is yours!

I hope you are taking precautions against getting an STD from your bed hopping freind.

The scond thing that come to mind is why would you wish this kind of a relationship at your/our age when you had have a real relationship for a large fraction of your life.

As a male I could not personal settle for such a relationship if god forbid I lost my soul mate.

Well, I've been living with a widower for almost 2 years, he is 60 and I am 53, divorced after 28 years of marriage. He doesn't want to ever get married again he says. This makes me feel like he is waiting for someone better to come along so I understand how you feel. I can't understand why he doesn't want to get married since we are so compatible. He is however, only with me, not dating or saying he wants to date other women. I think because your man is dating others, that this should tell you exactly what you are feeling is correct, he is looking for someone else to come along better than you.

Lookout - do you know what a "booty call" is? Find out. Cause that's what you are to him.

He wants you for the initmacy and you are willing to settle for that, so why should he change or do things differently?

If you want to give him an ultimatum then tell him to stop messing around with others and commit to you only. Or risk losing him.

This man is treating you with respect and honesty. You should be grateful.

An adult relationship involves the wants and needs of two people. In a good relationship everyone involved understands and agrees to (and hopefully benefits from) the relationship as it is.

If two adults want different things from a relationship-- then they have to decide whether the relationship will work or not-- and reasonable human beings are able to walk away in peace without sexist name-calling (i.e. "two-timing" or "booty call"). The fact that he doesn't want an exclusive relationship right now doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. It just means he doesn't want an exclusive relationship with anyone.

You have the right to be upset if someone is dishonest (i.e. says they are exclusively with you and then "cheats"), but that is not what is happening here. He is honestly saying where he is at-- I don't think he owes you any more than that.

You don't have the right to rope him into a type of relationship that he has clearly said he doesn't want.

If you can accept the kind of relationship he is offering, then you should talk to him openly about your wants and fears-- maybe you both can work things out. There are couples that enjoy meaningful and committed "open" relationships (where by agreement each partner is allowed to be intimate with others).

If you can't accept this type of relationship, then why not show the decency that he is showing to you-- be honest that you don't want what he is offering and walk away without bitterness.

I agree with ebrown.

Sorry this is a user not a decent person in any way or in any manner.

He is telling her the truth yes but at the same time being fully aware of her loneliness and her hopes that he will change his mind.

We both however agree that she should walk or even run away from this asshole.

ebrown may enjoy that I, for once, just right out agree with him.
Well, let's move on.

I'm sorry but he IS NOT respecting her. Yes, he may be honest but he is using her for sex and shame on her, she is allowing him to. He's already told you that he's doesn't want an exclusive relationship. Tell him to hit the road. You are better than that.