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rephrasing of the sentence

 
 
Reply Wed 29 Apr, 2009 11:08 pm
The people in the tour group, including me, were able to encompass and harmoniously co-exist, making the tour a memorable experience.

My daughter wrote the above sentence. It seems the words in bold are not correctly used, but I don't know how to rephrase it for her.

What she is trying to say is that the people in the tour group got along fine and were friendly.

Could some member please help me out?

Many thanks.
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2009 01:31 am
@tanguatlay,
What you said sounds just right. "The people in the tour group got along fine, and were friendly. You could also leave out "and were friendly".

If she insists on modifying the original sentence. . . .

"The people in the tour group, including me, were able to harmoniously co-exist, making the tour a memorable experience." It sounds a little strange, but I think you could do it.
tanguatlay
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2009 01:36 am
@roger,
Thanks, Roger.
0 Replies
 
sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2009 10:00 am
what do you mean "existed" harmoniously?

related well together . . .

or

seemed to get along well together

It's the "relationship" that you want to talk about, not their existence.

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Setanta
 
  2  
Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2009 11:22 am
People who are doing English as a second language prefer to use their own sentences as much as possible, with as few changes as possible. Rewording the sentence is not necessarily what they want from the native speaker. On that basis, i would say Roger has provided the best alternative. The word "encompass" in the original sentence is entirely inappropriate.

Please people, if you "correct" someone's sentence for them, leave it as near to the original as possible. They're not asking how you would say it, they want to know if they way they have said it is correct. In making the correction, stay as close as possible to the original sentence--that's what they want from you.
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sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2009 01:04 pm
Tang said he did not know how to "rephrase" it.

Suggestions were given.

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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2009 01:42 pm
Of which Roger's was the most helpful.
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BorisKitten
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 May, 2009 06:46 pm
@tanguatlay,
What's wrong with:

Quote:
the people in the tour group got along fine and were friendly.
?

Works for me.
tanguatlay
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 May, 2009 09:51 pm
@BorisKitten,
Thanks, BorisKitten

I didn't know that what I rephrased for my daughter is correct to the last letter.
0 Replies
 
 

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