What's the best way to tell your best friend you love them?

Sure, why not? But I would say, you might want to not just blurt it out or anything. I take it you two are not dating, you're "just" friends?

Then you might want to start with something more along the lines of, "Steve (or whatever his name is), have you ever thought about you and me?"

And listen to what he says. Yeah, it's a somewhat loaded question, but at least you'll know where you stand.

Be prepared, though. If he's not in the same place where you are, I'm sorry to say, it can end a friendship. Best of luck to you.

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be advised that it could damage the friendship, the best couples certainly become best friends, but they don't always start out that way

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Tell him how you feel - AFTER you tell him how much his friendship means to you. He may interupt you and tell YOU he loves you!

Really . . . Haven't you touched him? doesn't he know the difference between a friendly touch and a romantic touch?

Come on girl, you know how to do this!!

You will know in SECONDS if he wants more or not.

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@GoneWithTheWind,

Is he married? If so, then I wouldn't say anything to him.

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I have a female friend who I've been friends with for 15 years. If she wanted to become my lover I'd be a bit uneasy. I hope you're not Jane!

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"Hey, (insert name here), have you ever thought about us as more than friends?"

He will either give a positive or negative response. Either way...

"It's just that lately I've been thinking of us as more than friends and I was wondering how you would feel about that."

This is where he will either perk up and be interested or start to back pedal REALLY fast. If he says he is interested then you guys can discuss things from there. If he's not then say something along the lines of...

" It's just something that's been on my mind lately. I don't want to mess up what we have as friends, I was just curious if you had ever thought about it."

Obviously there are no guarantees. He might agree and then a week later freak out on you about how things are changing too much too fast (you might just do the same thing). He might freak at the idea from the start but a few days later come back after having thought about it and decide he can't live without you. So take a deep breath and decide what you want to do. If you want him to know then mention it, but know you run the risk of damaging the friendship. If you decide to keep it to yourself then do so, but know you risk losing out on something rare and beautiful. My husband and I were best friends for two years before he came out of the blue to me and proclaimed his love. It took me by surprise and at first I took a step back. Over the next two days I did some soul searching and realized just how much he meant to me and we went for it. We have been together for seven years; the last two and a half of those have been in marriage.

Best of luck!

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It's all a guess really.

Much of the approach would have to do with each persons relative age, maturity, self esteem, and self respect...and then it's still mostly a guess.

You could start giving off female "I'm Interested" signals (I mean, more than you've already been giving).

One thing about emotions...it's harder to make a person fall in love with you who's emotions are neutral to you, than it is to make a guy who is angry with you fall in love with you...because emotions in motion are much easier to move (ie. It's not always bad that someone you're interested in, gets pissed off at you). I'm not btw, saying 'make him hate you', or do something bad.

As for coming straight out and telling him. If you do it for the purpose of being true to yourself, then go for it...but understand that there are consequences to everything you do. If you do it because you want something from him, then there is a greater argument for not doing it.

Wishy washy isn't it?

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Like I said, if you have been this person's friend for this long, you should know in SECONDS after making a physical move on him whether or not he wants to take it further. '

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@NickFun,

NickFun wrote:

I have a female friend who I've been friends with for 15 years. If she wanted to become my lover I'd be a bit uneasy. I hope you're not Jane!

You rang?

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@CalamityJane,

I haven't read all other responses: I'll just say, talk.

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By the way, something occurred to me after my last post :

Why not tell him "I think I'm falling a little in love with you" (there are two qualifiers in this statement "I think" and "a little")

It's vague enough that, if he's curious, he will just have to ask "What do you mean". It's also vague enough that you don't have to admit you are in love with him, just that "Well, I always have the best fun with you, and when I leave I feel on a high. So often when I'm at home, I find myself thinking of you..."

...again, that's not most people definition of being in love, but it leaves room for him to explore further if he's at all interested, and room for you to back out if he's not.

In any case, between best friends, it's an easy way to test the waters.

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just bumping. Was wondering how this turned out?

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@jespah,

jespah wrote:

Sure, why not? But I would say, you might want to not just blurt it out or anything.
I take it you two are not dating, you're "just" friends?

Then you might want to start with something more along the lines of,
"Steve (or whatever his name is), have you ever thought about you and me?"

And listen to what he says. Yeah, it's a somewhat loaded question,
but at least you'll know where you stand.

Be prepared, though. If he's not in the same place where you are, I'm sorry to say,
it can end a friendship. Best of luck to you.

As a former non-blurter,
I endured many years of self-condemnation,
frustration, yearning and guilt. After well over 20 years,
I found the young lady involved and blurted.

Several months thereafter, I got rejected,
but that was much, much better than my pre-blurting life.

It seems to me that there is a lot of well thought out, good advice
on this thread. Good luck.

David

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Get drunk and tell him. Then if it doesn't go to plan you can blame it on the liquor! He heh.

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@OmSigDAVID,

LOL...I know what you mean David and also what the others on here are saying too...I did go and tell my best friend how I felt, but I also told him that I was doing this for me so that I start off the new year right...now that I could admit my feelings openly. I told him that I just wanted to let him know how I felt so that I wouldn't have to endure all those feelings you listed anymore. I knew what the possible consequences were, but I NEEDED to do it, and felt that if we were best friends and built our friendship on trust and love and many more things, if they mattered to him, he would call me and even if he didnt feel the same, we could still be friends. It took him months to respond and I was sad but it was not as bad I thought it would be when I contemplated on whether or not to tell him. He called for Valentine's to say HI and it went well...we didn't bring up our feelings but we talked for a long time, we hadn't been able to do that for a while, I was just so happy he called...I thanked him for calling and mentioned that I wasnt sure he would want to talk to me anymore, he said he just needed time to himself, and I do know its hard for him we have had many ups and downs so I just wait patiently. After the initial call he called me once a month after and I patiently waited and now we are talking every other day. I'm not saying he shares the same feelings I do for him, but I do know without a doubt that he does love me as a best friend and I'm okay with that...I always knew that and I'm willing and able to move on and have still been able to retain my best friend. Since I am away for the time being, I can't expect anything but I think when we're face to face we will be able to talk a little about it, because I don't want him to feel uncomfortable being around me, I cherish his friendship.

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The word love reeks of commitment and scares most people. Scares guys anyway. Things happen when they are supposed to happen.

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@GoneWithTheWind,

that's not an easy thing, even if you get together, are you sure the feeling between yours is love?

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@mystikrose,

mystikrose wrote:

LOL...I know what you mean David and also what the others on here are saying too...I did go and tell my best friend how I felt, but I also told him that I was doing this for me so that I start off the new year right...now that I could admit my feelings openly. I told him that I just wanted to let him know how I felt so that I wouldn't have to endure all those feelings you listed anymore. I knew what the possible consequences were, but I NEEDED to do it, and felt that if we were best friends and built our friendship on trust and love and many more things, if they mattered to him, he would call me and even if he didnt feel the same, we could still be friends. It took him months to respond and I was sad but it was not as bad I thought it would be when I contemplated on whether or not to tell him. He called for Valentine's to say HI and it went well...we didn't bring up our feelings but we talked for a long time, we hadn't been able to do that for a while, I was just so happy he called...I thanked him for calling and mentioned that I wasnt sure he would want to talk to me anymore, he said he just needed time to himself, and I do know its hard for him we have had many ups and downs so I just wait patiently. After the initial call he called me once a month after and I patiently waited and now we are talking every other day. I'm not saying he shares the same feelings I do for him, but I do know without a doubt that he does love me as a best friend and I'm okay with that...I always knew that and I'm willing and able to move on and have still been able to retain my best friend. Since I am away for the time being, I can't expect anything but I think when we're face to face we will be able to talk a little about it, because I don't want him to feel uncomfortable being around me,
I cherish his friendship.

That was interesting, Mystikrose.
Congratulations on your blurting.
Mine was less fruitful than yours.
We have not spoken for around 30 years.
I was very relieved at having blurted;
it was cathartic and purged my negative emotions.

David

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@Ann486,

Ann486 wrote:

that's not an easy thing, even if you get together,
are you sure the feeling between yours is love?

Since that feeling is in the conscious mind,
how coud someone not be sure of whether or not it is love?

That 's like asking me whether I am sure
that I dislike the taste of coconut.
(I strongly dislike the taste of coconut.)

David

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What's the best way to tell your best friend you love them?

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