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Are people born gay?

 
 
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2009 05:23 pm
Okay, I'm bored. Why not stir up some trouble?
But seriously, I just want to know how people feel about this.
Are people born homosexual?
Do they CHOOSE it?
Is it the result of some environmental deficit; ie poor parenting?
Can people be "converted" from homosexuality to heterosexuality?
Let's hear from the religious folks too. Is homosexuality a sin? Does the Bible say it's a sin? Does God hate homosexuals? Does He even care? Is homosexuality a worse sin than other sins? Should it be treated as a capital crime? Are homosexuals just inherently immoral people?
I'm sure this discussion has been started before somewhere, but I couldn't find it on search, so I'm starting it again. Because that's how I roll. :p
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Type: Discussion • Score: 10 • Views: 2,875 • Replies: 11

 
Foofie
 
  4  
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2009 06:48 pm
@rydinearth,
In my own opinion, the question can just be reversed to give the correct answer: gays are born people.
0 Replies
 
Thomas
 
  2  
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2009 06:58 pm
@rydinearth,
I'm not sure what you specifically mean by that question. Do you mean, are some babies born coveting babies of the same sex? If so, the answer is no -- just like babies aren't born coveting babies of the opposite sex.

Or are you asking whether sexual orientation is innate? In this case the answer is, partly yes. We know that because identical twins of gay people are much more likely than fraternal twins to be gay themselves.
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NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2009 11:13 pm
When I was an adolescent my attention turned to girls. Nothing about guys turned me on at all. I'm sure it's the same with gay guys. It is something you are born with. No amount of counseling would ever make me get hard looking at a guys hairy ass.
Diest TKO
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Mar, 2009 01:23 am
I'm more fond of the Kinsey scale (1-5) from purely homosexual to purely heterosexual and the notion that sexuality is the composite of nature and nurture.

T
K
O
aidan
 
  2  
Reply Mon 9 Mar, 2009 02:09 am
@Diest TKO,
Quote:
I'm more fond of the Kinsey scale (1-5) from purely homosexual to purely heterosexual and the notion that sexuality is the composite of nature and nurture.


Yes, I can see that - it being more of a composite than an either/or and I also think that nurture can perhaps play a role, at least in the reluctance to accept or express any latent or innate homosexual tendencies.

I used to think the tendency for homosexuality was just innate - present from birth. And I based my thinking on this from how my friends who were gay describe their feelings from a very young age - and also how I know that I felt about the opposite sex from a very young age.

I had my first crush on a guy when I was about six - I wasn't even pubescent - but I knew I was attracted to males. When I think about it, I think this must have stemmed at least partially from cultural conditioning. I knew that as a female, I was expected to partner with males, so whatever my innate sexual urges would eventually lead me to as they later emerged, my environment was pointing me toward males from the time I could observe.

When I was in college, I had a gay roommate. She'd been with males throughout adolescence and then discovered females sexually at the age of nineteen. She was not bisexual - after expressing herself as a lesbian, she had no interest in heterosexuality. She told me she had never thought of herself as gay - she just had only experienced men and thought sex with men was 'okay'. But when she experienced sex with a woman - she found sex to be 'more than okay'- she felt it was what it was meant to be for her. She was no longer interested in heterosexual sex and in fact tried to convince me as to the merits of sex with women.

I could not be persuaded to try it. It just didn't interest me - the idea or notion of it didn't at all appeal to me. I had no desire in that direction- none.
Although I do think (in some forms) womens' bodies are beautiful- I have no desire to experience one sexually. And in fact, I think this is interesting - I am more forgiving of and attracted to an imperfect male body than I can imagine being to a 'perfect' woman's body (never mind an imperfect one).

But part of me wonders if that's just because I've never experienced it. And if part of the reason I never experienced it is because it would just cause too many problems for me culturally - in other words if on Kinsey's scale I'm primarily heterosexual, but could innately be somewhat homosexual, but I suppress this because I've been imprinted culturally with the view that heterosexuality in its expression for me, is not only natural- but also less fraught with issues.

Because I did have a head massage by a woman the other day and I was sort of stimulated. I did think - 'Hmmm, if she kept this up for very much longer- I'd be turned on - by a woman'. It was very strange for me...but I have to admit- there was a response. I can't deny that.
That's why I wonder if more people aren't at least somewhat gay - but they suppress it due to cultural/ nuture/environmental factors, so they never try it.

Like someone who says, 'My favorite flavor is chocolate' and then you find out they've never even tasted strawberry.



0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Mar, 2009 06:58 am
@NickFun,
NickFun wrote:

When I was an adolescent my attention turned to girls. Nothing about guys turned me on at all. I'm sure it's the same with gay guys. It is something you are born with. No amount of counseling would ever make me get hard looking at a guys hairy ass.


"Turned" to girls from what? lol

What if the guy didn't have a hairy ass? What if it was nice and smooth?

I think women's bodies are beautiful but there is nothing on earth that would entice me to want to make love to one. Ick.
curtis73
 
  2  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2009 11:00 pm
I firmly believe that sexuality is just that... sexuality. It doesn't matter either way. Its not black and white, just varying shades of grey. We live in a time when homosexuality is just becoming mainstream, but far from accepted on the whole.

Where I think the abnormality lies is with the societal urge to conform one way or another. I am nearly always attracted to the opposite sex. There have been a couple rare instances where a certain member of the same sex has intrigued me sexually, so I guess I would technically say (by society's construct) that I'm bisexual. In truth I'm decidedly heterosexual. The fact that I've been attracted to a couple men doesn't automatically throw me into the middle of the bell curve.

I like to see when people follow their sexual instincts. Being 35 years old I grew up during what I like to call the "sexual dark ages." I feel there are too many kids (including my wife's gay best friend who is just 22) who are still conforming until they have no choice but to come out of the closet. I look forward to the time when there IS no closet; people will just express their sexuality as it presents to them. Too many kids are growing up in a society that presents them with a heterosexual paradigm and they tend to conform. Some conform their entire lives against their natural instinct.

I have also seen extreme examples where the nurture side of parenting has "created" sexually misdirected children, but for the most part it is purely a "nature" aspect that determine's sexuality. This has now been supported by mapping the human genome and actually identifying a "gay" gene. But, its very well-documented that "nurture" can easily create sexual deviancy, like pedophilia, rapist mentality, and sexual malfunction.

I think it would be interesting to set up a society in which gender has no bearing on societal roles or sexuality. Kinda set up a Blue Lagoon with children on an island and see how it truly plays out. I think if we let humans truly express themselves sexually, I think we would find that most of the sexual deviance (pedophilia, rape, molestation, etc) would be much lower. I think that most of the "deviant" sexual behavior is derived from the "nurture" side of things.

Often you hear the argument that bad parenting creates homosexuality; specifically, a bad relationship with the same-sex parent. I think its the other way around... I think that conservative parents of gay children become resentful of the behaviors they see in their same-sex child before sexual maturity. If a conservative catholic father sees his son showing aptitude for playing with dolls instead of matchbox cars, I think the poor relationship stems from the parent's subconscious knowledge of the child's tendencies as opposed to the parent's actions causing the homosexuality.
curtis73
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2009 11:08 pm
@Mame,
Quote:
Turned" to girls from what? lol

What if the guy didn't have a hairy ass? What if it was nice and smooth?


This is a good point... if it were as simple as A+B, then I should be attracted to transexuals who have gone M-F. Not to get too graphic, but I enjoy giving anal sex, so why should it matter what's in front, right?

Truth is, I'm attracted to the person. 99 times out of 100, that person is female. Its not because of society or how much hair is on the ass, its just who I like.

If you lined up 10 guys with smooth, feminine asses, and 10 women with hairy asses and asked me to pick one to have sex with, chances are I would pick a hairy-assed woman instead of a smooth-assed guy, but it has little to do with gender or hair... its something that is inside that I can't necessarily define. Attraction is attraction. Denying that inner voice in order to conform to society's heterosexual expectation is the true sexual deviance.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2009 11:13 pm
@curtis73,
Quote:
I firmly believe that sexuality is just that... sexuality. It doesn't matter either way. Its not black and white, just varying shades of grey. We live in a time when homosexuality is just becoming mainstream, but far from accepted on the whole.


This is being researched, early indications are that women tend care much less than men what gender they sexually stimulate with. I will be interested to learn if men who swing both ways tend to have predominantly feminine natures, my understanding of human sexuality leads me to suspect that the answer will be yes.
0 Replies
 
solipsister
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2009 11:38 pm
@rydinearth,
i was doin ok until the pediatrician slapped me
0 Replies
 
TransMind
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jul, 2010 06:26 pm
@rydinearth,
Is someone born heterosexual? Personally, I think not, but I'm not qualified enough to answer in detail. My urges switched from from hetro to homo in my early twenties, but was I gay originally, who can say?
0 Replies
 
 

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