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He's cheating and I'm pregnant

 
 
Reply Sun 1 Mar, 2009 10:04 pm
As I've said I'm 16. So here's the deal: I'm pregnant with my "boyfriend's" kid and I found out that he's cheating. It's obviously a long shot to ask or confront him about it because it's not likely he's admitting to it. I know that the initial response is dump him, but what about the child and the fact that I'm pregnant? That's not going to go away. And the child really deserves to have more than one parent around. Besides that, I love him. And I know that probably the worst thing that I could do is to confront the other girl. That would just instigate a problem. But I have no clue what to do. I know for a fact that he's cheating....unless saying "I love you Babe" is a common casual friend thing now. And if calling someone "Bunny" is a common friend thing now. I need help.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 5,141 • Replies: 6
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Thomas
 
  2  
Reply Sun 1 Mar, 2009 11:14 pm
@baseballchic,
What a terrible situation to be in, baseballchick!

To begin with your first point, I don't really see why confronting your boyfriend is such a long shot. First off, you should give him the chance to defend himself. There is, after all, the chance that you're wrong and that he's not cheating after all.

If on the other hand, you are right, he is cheating after all, and you cannot bring this to a resolution like grown-ups together, how are you going to handle the responsibility of parenthood like grown-ups together? I don't see why the child should should keep you from dumping this guy for cheating. If he needs dumping for being an unreliable boyfriend, he also needs dumping for being an unreliable parent.

Which leads me to the next question: Did you tell him about your pregnancy yet? If so, how did he react?

As to your options about your pregnancy, I think you should talk to professionals. Does Planned Parenthood have an office near where you live?
baseballchic
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Mar, 2009 01:16 am
@Thomas,
Yeah, he knows I'm pregnant. And he said he wanted to stay with me through it and be a good parent/boyfriend. But as far as I'm concerned he's already let me down. Like I said, I don't know and have yet to be informed that "I love you Babe" is a casual phrase that's said amongst friends these days. And that nicknames like "Bunny" are casual.
Thomas
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Mar, 2009 06:22 am
@baseballchic,
Two words isn't much to go on. I can't really comment on that. All I can say is that if I was in your place, I would confront him about the question of cheting, and, see a Planned Parenthood counselor about the pregnancy.

Good luck!
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Mar, 2009 08:31 am
I think you're reading way too much into two words. I had an uncle who everyone called Bunny and Babe is pretty innocuous.

Would he really use terms of endearment on the phone with someone else while you're in the room?

You need to ask him about this. Keep in mind that is will be one of the easier conversations you will have with him over the next 18 years.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Mar, 2009 10:19 am
@boomerang,
I agree - you can't know for sure by those words.

Also, even if he ends up cheating on you and you break up, he could still be a dad for the baby and he should. Hopefully even if you split, he can be a part of the baby's life and help care and support the child.
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Green Witch
 
  2  
Reply Tue 3 Mar, 2009 06:42 pm
@baseballchic,
Well, I'm disappointed. You promised me you wouldn't get pregnant.

http://able2know.org/topic/98847-1#post-2736679

I could give you my opinion, but I don't think you will take any advice. I stand by my belief that you are going to learn about life the hard way. I hope you will at least go after the Daddy for child support - because you sure won't get anything else from him.

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