Your best break up stories...

One of my favorites was the shortest relationship I had... which was about 30 seconds. I was working as a bartender and this incredibly beautiful/cute/sexy girl was giving me the stares all night. I motioned for her to come down to my end of the bar, but she just kept giggling and staring. Finally her friend came over and told me that her friend really wanted to hook up with me RIGHT NOW. So, she finally came down to the end of the bar to talk to me. I said, "so what's your story?" Its a great question with a million possible answers. She replied, "I'm seeing a therapist because I can't deal with Curt Cobain's death."

30-second relationship over.

Another one was when I was in college. I had been having sex with my roomate's girl, and I found out that my roomate was having sex with my girl. Long story short, we just all had great swinging group sex for the next year. You gotta love it when the breakup sex lasts a year with multiple partners.

All time (in history of world) best:

For Americans, WW-II was a logistics push operation: a relatively very small number of people were serving as the tip of a spear but the vast bulk of the ten million or so people in uniform were serving in rear areas. A whole lot of people were sitting around on Pacific islands for four years.

One guy in that situation had a girl friend who'd promised to remain true and marry him at war's end; ten months on the island he gets a letter saying she was marrying the banker's son and could she please have her photo back...

The guy took his camera and made a tour of the island he was on photographing everybody on the island who was never going to win any sort of a beauty contest, the sergeant in the mess hall, several of the local cannibals including the chief, monkeys and apes, the pet pig....

And then he put every one of those pictures in a box along with the girl's picture and a note sort of like