What incredibly dumb (that you would NEVER share) things do you say to your pet/s?

You're asking us to share what we would NEVER share. Aren't you doomed to disappointment?

Shhhhhh! You're ruining her evil master plan!

Or just come sans the run?

Seemingly not.

(See Thomas' post.)

you misspelled cum....

Damn. And to think I have trouble walking and carrying on a conversation simultaneously.

Or...

And you'll arrive just in time to take a nap.

running and......... well........


now THERE is an image..

It would make it considerably easier to maintain an exercise regimen.

Lots of baby talk and sometimes I speak for the dog - meaning I put words
to his often puzzled look at me - something like this: "Mom, you know that
I want food, I am only interested in food, food, food and let me spell it for you: F-O-O-D. A close second is walking (where I actually use the German term for it). Mom, are you listening?"

We're ALL mad.

Mad I tell you.

I just caught myself singing "You're the Top" to Miranda (and just realized the double entendre) with some slightly altered words.

Cole Porter is great for mad pet owners...

I sometimes speak German to my cats...and they've been SIAMESE for decades, for pete's sake.

I mean, theyre struggling with English.

My guys don't struggle with English at all. They couldn't care less.

Your cats seem rather aloof.

My hunch is you need to say more ridiculous things to them.

What are you trying now?

Dumb things I've said to my cats? Oh god, where do I start? And how much do I want to reveal about myself? Pet names are my specialty. And they all tend to be of the variety that .. well, make the person who accidentally heard the exchange wonder about the nature of the human involved. (It is usually a two way exchange.)
My cat also enjoys being sung to, a lot. At the moment her favourite number is Springtime for Hitler & Germany, from the Producers of course. Why am I singing this old, silly sing to my cat? And how come she enjoys it so whole-heartedly? I wish I could answer that!

Oh, be still my beating heart.


Someone else who sings Springtime for Hitler at the drop of a hat!


As for embarrassment? Phut.

I will here reveal that my greeting to my best cat wot ever was (shhhh...I also tell Mirandas that she is, but she isn't...but I'd never tell her!) Phoebe was:

HellObefeebee!!! Howbee youbee doobing?

when i dog sat for my former boss, i never really got all baby talky with the dog, i was fond of "what's up pup" or sometimes "what's uppity puppity" if i was feeling wild and crazy

Cute!

Well apart from the obvious "There's a cat!!" or "Cow!!" to inform the dog that it was time to bark bravely out the car window, he was my audience when I practiced oral presentations I was scheduled to give. If he listened intently and did not fall asleep, I took that as approval. None of the other members of the family were willing to consistently fill in for that role.

the only thing i miss about that job was the dog, Ben, was a great black lab, big goofy doggy type dog

Thank you, Deb. It is good to be amongst folk who understand.



This was when you had a cold, dearie?

And, pray tell, how did she respond to this warm & wonderful greating? (I want the gory details! )