Does this sound like anyone we know?

It could have been any of us.

The store announcement systems do not work, in my experience--at least they don't work on the conscious mind. I have frequently commented on what is being broadcast on the loud speakers, and those shoppers who do not hurry away with frightened looks on their faces, and who actually have the courage to speak to me, acknowledge that they hadn't heard or paid any attention to the announcement which was just made.

I rather enjoy carrying on a dialogue with the store loud speakers, if for no other reason than to watch the reactions of other shoppers.

If these dates supposedly coincide with one person's shopping visits then his wife spends much too much time at KMart.

I like the call for toilet paper from the dressing room.