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Correction of short composition

 
 
Reply Mon 8 Dec, 2008 12:54 am
Hi everybody

Could someone please edit the following composition for me? Many thanks in advance.

It was a breezy Monday morning. My classmates and I were having English lesson. Our teacher, Mrs Su, was teaching us how to write a composition.

Suddenly Rani stood up in fright and cried, “Centipede! Centipede! It’s on my schoolbag!” Every classmate of hers was frightened and quickly lifted up their legs. Those who saw the centipede screamed in fear.

Mrs Su instructed the pupils to remain seated and to keep calm. Then she took off one of her high-heeled shoes and hit the centipede repeatedly with it. It struggled for a while before it died.

Mrs Su then swept away the centipede and threw it into the wastepaper basket. After that, lesson resumed. The pupils were now at ease since the centipede was no longer alive.


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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 608 • Replies: 2
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Robert Gentel
 
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Reply Mon 8 Dec, 2008 12:57 am
@tanguatlay,
tanguatlay wrote:
It was a breezy Monday morning. My classmates and I were having English lesson.


having an English lesson

Quote:
Every classmate of hers was frightened


Correct but very awkward, I suggest:

All her classmates were frightened...

Quote:
After that, lesson resumed


After that, the lesson resumed...


P.S. When you post questions, can you please tag them "english", and when they are answered can you please select an answer? This way, they are easier to find and it's easier to keep track of what questions still need answers.
tanguatlay
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Dec, 2008 01:00 am
@Robert Gentel,
Many thanks, Robert Gentel, for the quick response.
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