If your pet was a person. . .

Roberta, thanks for the description of JN, I figured he was about that height.

That's so true about New York, you do run into many famous people. It's really a fun place to live, if you're single.

Jack, my ten year old black cocker is already 1/3 human. He is actually a cat/people/dog. He is cat, because he is finicky and moody. He is people, because he wouldn't eat dog food any more than I would. He's choosy and discriminating. He also likes to sit on the couch at night and watch TV. He fights over the front seat with my kids when we go somewhere. And dog, because he looks like one.

As a human, Jack is 70 years old and a curmudgeon in the most vile sense of the word. He has no patience for Ranger, our young dog. Ranger is a pain in the ass, or so Jack has told me. Jack is gassy and has bouts of intestinal distress, which distresses the family more than it does him. He loves pampering, bathtime, scratching and having his hair cut. In his old age, Jack has become a homosexual, and I'm afraid he is the neighborhood receiver. We are tolerant of Jack's choice, but have tried to dissuade his paramours with water rockets.

I'll share about Ranger and Jill in the future.

LG: Great story about your Lord of the Manor! I can't wait to hear the rest of your stories about your pets:)

Some people have a way with words ... you're one of them:)

misti26--
Flattery will get you way too many posts from me.
Thank you, you're sweet.

I'm terribly jealous if that precious puppy is yours.

I'll read back and find out about what furry 'person' you're co-habitating with.

This is a nice thread. It calms me down after Politics.

Talk more soon.

LG: I'm not flattering you, it's true!

That puppy is not mine, just a cute picture I found.

I'm cohabitating with Paddy Cassidy, a 9 month old kitten, full of the blarney!

I rarely, if evah go into politics, it's a rx for disaster:)

Come back anytime you need to relax, we love to hear from you:)

Marycat, Is your pet a turtle?

Lash, Jack sounds like my kind of dog. A bit difficult, a bit demanding, and interesting. I'm glad you like this thread. I always find it relaxing to talk about and read about animals, especially those we know on a first-name basis. Like Misti, I eschew the political discussions. I get too angry and frustrated. I'll stick with Jack and Mikey and Nermal and the rest.

Ranger was rescued from living in a ditch when he was a puppy. He is a longish haired, jet-black lab mix. If Ranger was a person, he'd be 7 years old, loaded with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and he would be in trouble constantly with his teachers in the "Special Needs" classes at elementary school.

We would have been called in countless times for tearful parent/teacher conferences, in which we would be told there is no hope for Ranger. "You will be lucky if he can make himself happy being a janitor somewhere,"
they would've told us.

So, in a huff, we would have prosecuted the school, involved the ACLU and local media and Ranger would be famous locally, as the simpleton kid who everyone loves (except his teachers.)

Ranger enjoys chewing sticks and placing said sticks on the backs of Jack and Jill, who do not take kindly to the practice. (Why does he do this?)

Ranger, like most ignorant or brain-challenged people, is the happiest dog/person I've ever seen. He runs like crazy all around the back yard, chasing....nothing. He has a perpetual gregarious grin on his silly face 24/7.

Ranger is a homosexual, possibly due to the fact he has been neutered, and he lives in close proximity to the most notorious homosexual on the block (that would be Jack.) His is, however monogamous, although his partner is a man-whore. He seems to have no interest in Jill, who reciprocates matching disinterest, and adds to this, loads of distain.

In the pecking order of who eats best and first, Ranger is last. An old curmudgeon and a female younger than him eat their food first and then go to eat what they want of his. Ranger stands by sweetly and watches. He will then eat what they have left. Nothing gets Ranger down.

Lash
Awwwww!
What a sweet natured critter you have there!

Lash, Thanks for the laughs. I can see this dog. I know this dog. I love this dog. Okay, not the sharpest tine on the salad fork, but sweet, funny, good-natured, energetic, and incorrigible. Hey, somebody's got to be the janitor. All this and monogamously gay. Whatta guy.

A BIG hello to you in NYC, Roberta!
What has that rascal, Mikey, done to you today, I wonder? ... Anything's possible with that critter!

Hi, Olga. Mikey is enjoying his Christmas presents, especially a bird-call thing. I can't quite get it to sound like a bird, but he doesn't seem to care. He's still redecorating. He doesn't like the slipcovers. Go figure.

How are your three fuzzies doing?

What does he DO when you make the imperfect bird sound, Roberta? Anything's possible!

My 3? Collapsed in a variety of places in their new home ... Knocked out by the second very hot & windy day in a row! I think they might miss their old garden a bit but they are adjusting quickly. At least I no longer have to lock them inside with kitty litter trays. Two of the 3 have mastered the new cat door, thank goodness!

Roberta, Fred is a fish. A Betta, a.k.a. Siamese Fighting Fish. I've had numerous bettas in the past, and Fred is by far the laziest one I've ever seen.

We want a puppy but we don't have time, money, or space to take proper care of one. We'll get one when we leave this city.

Roberta - How cool that Mikey responds to the the bird-caller at all. He is such a discerning animal!

My two doglets went crazy I thought, this morning, acting like the coffee making noises were coming from a bee. That is, they got a very intense look of high concentration which is fairly abnormal for Chows, who usually look upon life with the disdain and disinterest of a cat unless it involves food.

They were "pointing" with nose and ears cocked, directly at the coffeemaker. What else could I think but poor dumb animals. Next thing that happens, a gigantic and very angry wasp zooms by my head. What a wake-up call that was!

I will put much more faith in their bee-warning maneuvers in the future.

Olga, He sniffs the bird call thing. And he's tried to eat it a few times. I managed to prevent that, so he took a few chunks out of the TV Guide.

Marycat, Fred is a fish! I've seen bettas. They are beautiful. I know from experience that it's very hard to have a dog in the city.

Piffka, So the chows were on bug alert. Yes, we should pay attention to such signs. My cats have alerted me to various creepy/crawly/flying hazards. The most determined was little Patty. She was relentless in her pursuits. She once snapped her jaws around a horsefly. It buzzed around in her mouth. She had the strangest look on her face. She opened her mouth, and the fly flew out. She caught it again, chewed and swallowed. Gag and feh.

I'll say. Why do they eat what they do? If Penny could have gotten the yellow jacket down to her level, she would surely have et it.

Oh, Piffka, good dogs!

Hiya -- Yes, good dogs and avid bee hunters.

Piffka, They eat weird stuff 'cause they're animals. We eat weird stuff 'cause we're human. I'd rather not have a translation from cat to human when I eat an orange. The face says it all. "Are you crazy? You're eating that!! I'll take a bug anytime."

Whew. Had a weird afternoon. We took the doglets for a walk at the off-leash area. Were about 1/3 mile in and suddenly Poppy, the black chow, starts veering off to the left and stumbling... to the point where she falls over and cannot get up.

Freaked me out, I thought she was going to die. We tried to hold her, but things didn't seem to get any better. So PFK picked her up and prepared to carry her all the way back. After less than five minutes he had to put her down for a minute.. she is a big dog and was struggling. She shook and then started walking. Walked fine and appears to be fine now. The Vets, of course, are closed 'til Thursday.

I'm still a little shaken and have to leave soon for a New Year's event. Luckily, she seems reasonably normal, but oddly tired. Why me, oh lord, why me? Have searched the internet -- apparently this vertigo or loss of balance happens and they usually get over it quickly. Supportive care recommended.... also antibiotics in case of ear infection.

<Can I roll my eyes now?>