When Doctors Misdiagnois

So terribly sorry for your loss. I wish I could say more at this time to make some sense of what happened to your daughter. So very sorry. Thoughts of with you. x

Cheri, I don't think a parent ever gets over the death of a child, but I think you must let go of your anger in order to honor your daughter. Doctors are human and make mistakes. It sounds like your daughter had a very complicated problem. I'm sure the doctors who first looked at her wanted to help her, they did not deliberately seek to do harm. It was an accident, not murder. As difficult as it might be, I think you have to replace your feelings of betrayal and anger with understanding and forgiveness in order to heal your own heart. This is a case of human frailty on many levels. Cherish the memory of your daughter but do not allow the tragedy of her death to darken every corner of your life. She would not want you to suffer any more than you already have and I doubt she wishes you to seek revenge in her name. I hope you find peace.

There is nothing to say to make it better Cheri, and I wish doctors could be more all knowing and all seeing, but they are fallable beings in spite of all that education and training. There is no way that every doctor will correctly deal with every symptom he will come across in a lifetime of practice, much less in a few years on the job. From time to time many of us have had to deal with no diagnosis for terrible symptoms or misdiagnosis by doctors who simply haven't yet experienced every symptom/condition they run up against.

For now you miss your daughter and you grieve and rail against the senselessness of it all. We can't make that better. But we can care. I am happy that you know she is in a good place, and in time God will use that to help comfort you and bring you peace.

lzzie
Thank you for your reply and your thoughts it was so kind of you to reply

Green Witch
This was never about anger only finding justice for my daughter. The first doctors who seen her said it was not meningitis but were not willing to rule it out. So instead diagnoised her with something she did not have, As you mentioned doctors make mistakes and we are left with the end results. This wasnt because they put a bandaid on the wrong spot it was because they were sure this disease is not what she had they were wrong and she paid the ultimate price there is no justifing their treatment.
You are right there is no pain greater then the loss of ones child espically when you are trying to seek help for them.
My daughter would not want me to suffer any more but she would want her story to be told in preventing this to happen to someone else

Foxfyre
You are so kind to reply
I realize what you are saying about there is no way doctors correcectly deal with every symtom. But in my daughters case they were so eager to rule out the chances of her having this disease without properly testing her for it, thats what I will never understand. As you mentioned with all the education and training they still are unable diagnoisis every patient but I am sure and hope that they do proper testing to rule out what they may have , so I am not sure how these doctors thought they were so expirenced in diagnoising a patient with out doing tests. Sadly they were wrong, I will forever miss my daughter and have a broken heart for they way she died
It helps to know that people such as you do care and for that I am greatful

I honestly am not defending incompetent (or uncaring) doctors as I have certainly experienced my share of those both dealing will illnesses/injuries of loved ones and working with them in a hospital environment. Fortunately such doctors are few and far between. The good ones, which most are, each has his own gifts, talents, and specialties, and what one misses another might catch. E.R. doctors are especially jacks of all trades but masters of none, and are quite likely to miss a diagnosis for symptoms they have not seen before. It is for that reason that the doctor who misses a diagnosis is usually not punished or severely disciplined when it is a condition that many or most doctors would not readily recognize. And all doctors are reluctant to do tests that seem unnecessary at the time--sometimes the patient or his/her loved ones have to insist.

When I was 25, I was experiencing severe abdominal pain and finally went to the emergency room. I was examined by four different doctors that night. One was sure I had appendicitis, one thought I might have that but other things were more likely, one thought it unlikely that it was appendicitis and one was dead sure that it was not. Finally when other treatments did not help, they sent me to surgery to explore. They got to my hot appendix probably a few hours or maybe minutes before it would have ruptured and likely killed me. In my case the wait was not fatal but it likely could have been.

How could three skilled doctors miss something as common as appendicitis? It happens. Meningitis and encephylitis are both far more difficult to separate from normal severe flu symptoms and certainly a spinal tap would not be ordered for simple flu.

This is not offered as an excuse for an incompetent doctor and he very well may have been. He will have to live with the fact that he killed somebody just as you have to live grieving for your wonderful daughter. It seems so very wrong that any should outlive their children. But it is perhaps a possible reason for how these things happen and help speed the process for closure by understanding that some things are simply beyond understanding. It is healthy to grieve and work through your feelings but at some point we simply have to put it in God's hands and let him carry the burden.

He always does.

May you get to that point of peace in your life, Cheri, and know your daughter still loves you. You will see her again.

Cheri, Are you familiar with the group called Mothers Against Drunk Driving (aka MADD)? It was founded by a mother whose child was killed by a drunk driver and she started the organization to prevent other such tragedies. Maybe you can start a group that would talk to interns about the importance of paying attention to symptoms in emergency cases such as your daughter's. I am sure there are other people who have experienced what you have and they might also be willing to tell their stories to the people who need to hear them. You need to "preach to choir" for your sad story to do some good. You might even save some other parent's child.

Green witch
I have herd about mothers against drunk drivers and they I am sure have saved lifes with their determenation on there cause.
That is my hope in my plight to educate others on this disease and start holing doctors more accountable for their actions. To save even one person from this would be a victory
Thank you for your reply

Hey Cheri

I can only imagine the pain you are feeling with it coming up to two years now.... time is supposed to be a healer... and maybe, in more time, you will gain more acceptance of what happened to your daughter. Everyone deals with their emotions in different ways. If you feel that for you to move forward you need to seek out accountability - then you must do that.

Do you have family to support you? Do you have people who understand / acknowledge how you are feeling?

Do talk here if you wish to - if you feel it helps to just be able to say it out loud (even in a virtual world) then do that too.

No-one can ease the pain you feel - and anniversaries make it all the more harder. I imagine the thoughts of "how did this happen" and "why did this happen" which must run through your head. Sometimes, there will never be an answer - the world is not always a fair place. I know that fighting can also hinder acceptance if the emotions are negative - fight in a positive way Cheri, if you are able, and make your voice heard if it will help you.

You will never forget your daughter, cherish her memories and remember all the good that made your precious child who she was.

Do take care. We're here to listen if you wish to talk. Gentle hugs.

Foxfyre,
I truly know there are alot of really good doctors like the ones my daughter had in her final days of her life. Who did everything they could for recovery but for her the treatment came to late.
My daughter just did not have flu like symtoms she had first time seziure, confussion, fever , lower level of consisness vomitting headache numnees in arms and legs, Again they were so sure this is not what she had but did nothing to rule it out The er doctor felt that to keep her for further observation or call a specialist was not nessassary.If he said it was not meningitis he must of had some kind of experience with it . And if I had been more educated on this disease I would of insisted she had more tests but he assured me that it was seziure disorder and explained it just happens to some people and it was nothing to worry about as it was quite unlikely it would happen again. I was not a doctor or have ever been educated on any of this He was and that is why I took My daughter to the hospital to begain with as I knew I did not have the kind of knowledge to help her. And when she was not better the next day I took her to the nearest clinic but again I did not get her the help she needed.
I just think that when a doctor is so negligent that a patient dies he should be held more accountable for his actions and not just writting a assay on what he learned , These doctors still do not beleave they did any thing wrong and that is whats so sad as they did not learn anything because they were not held accountable and are still able to practice so nothing changed for them.
I had to put this in Gods hands when the decission was made to let her go As I knew it was the right thing to do because I loved her that much,and if not for God I would of died along with her ,as I really wanted to,
It is my daughter as well as God that makes me get up every morning
Again I thank you for your reply

lizzie,
Your reply will forever be cherished, It is very hard everyday without her but it so hard when you realize she has really been gone that long.as it will be two years Non.23 but the year she died it was on Thanksgiving Day. She always was one that would bring family together even on the day she died,
As I said I never had to go a day without her and now there are so many.
Thank you for your space and listening it reasures me that someone is still hearing her voice

I guess it is important to me that all of you that have been so kind to reply to my post here the whole story about my daughter.
My daughter had not been feeling well for a fwew days , but because of her new job she didnot want to miss any work. She felt if she was not better bt the weekend she would try to make a appointment with her doctor or go to the clinic.
On Nov. 17 2006 which was a friday she came home from work and said she had a real bad headache and felt sick to her stomach. She said she was really tired and her brain felt kinda funny.She said it was just probably because of a new job and that she was going to the clinic if not better by morning.
I had her sleep on the couch with me in case she needed anything through out the night. She was sick to her stomach and vomitted a few times, and finally went to sleep.
I awoke to a strange noise and when I looked over it was her having a seziure which she had never had before.
I called 911 and they took her to the nearest hospital. While on route she had another seziure.
When we got to the hospital and the doctor came out after examing her he told us that it was most likely a drig overdose. We expressed to him that we were not aware of any time that our daughter had been involved in any kind of drug activity.He then told us that there is alot of things parents do not know about their children and that the girl in the next room had just had her stomach pumped for the same reason.
When we went back to see my daughter they were taking blood to do a drug test and other blood work. My daughter assured the doctor that she had never been involved in drugs and would not risk everything she worked for in acheving her career to throw it away on drugs. The doctor said well the tests will show.He also ordered a x-ray to see if she had asperated and ct scan.
My daughter at this point had lower level of consisness and confussion, I expressed my concerns and was told it was do to the seziure.
When the results from the blood work came back he said well I guess you were right about the drugs, But I hve been doing this for 25 years and I am sure it is not meningitis but just seziure disorder and nothing to really worry about as it is unlikely it will happen again. I asked him about it as I was concerned he said it just happens to people sometimes but really can not be explained why it happens, He told us that she could not drive a car for a year and to follow up with a nerologist in a few months for a eeg but other then that there was no reason to keep her for further observation or to call a specialest.
before leaving they had her walk down the hall she was very confused on where she was going and stil vomitting. I told the doctor I was really afraid of the way she was acting and her vital signs he said it was because of the seziure gave her a vomitting pan and released her.
The next day my daughter was still very ill and continued vomitting so since it was the weekend took her to the nearest clinic.
The doctor read her hospital chart said he could not understand why they wanted a eeg in a few months and did not do one there. He did blood work said her white count was still high but was sure it was not meningitis but just a flu and nothing to worry about and she was still reacting to the seziure. I told him I was really concerned about how she was acting and did not seem to be getting better,and asked about her white count being high. He said that just indicates a infection from the flu and it just will take awhile to recover,.
He gave her a shot for her headache and vomitting and released her.
That night she still did not seem better so 911 was called and she was taken to another Hospital Er, They imediately did a lumbar puncture which was possitive for viral meningitis and herpes simplex enephalitis.And specialists were called in,
My daughter seemed to respond at first and the doctors were hopeful that treatment was started in time as they said there is a window of oppertunity in recovery.
On Nov22 my daughter went into cardiac arrest due to brain edema.She was put on life support.
The next day the decision was made to take her off life support and she passed away It was Thanksgiving Day
Her Name is
Jesseca Louise Morey

Cherimorey

I can sympathise with your wishing to know why they didn't do a lumbar puncture immediately. I wish there were answers to give you, but there aren't any. Educating people about this viral infection is a necessity throughout the world, and certainly, education of doctors too. It shouldn't have happened to your daughter, Jesseca, we are so sorry for your pain. Thanku for sharing Jesseca's story. If you can make more people aware of the symptoms, whether that is in the local community, schools, parishes, or even by being here on the internet - then you will be doing a service for others, for which your daughter would be proud. Awareness is the key - if you have made just one person aware of what to look out for, then you could save this from happening to someone else or their child.

Keep hold of your good memories and the love you have.

x

I'm not sure what to say. By this and your other thread, Cheri, we know you are devastated and having trouble dealing with it, flailing, what to do, and seeing failure in the performance of ER personnel.

I've a friend who was a long time head of a major city ER. Good he had some personal balance. So what, as I wasn't there. I just remember from the er friends I did know, they all tried all the time. I suppose there could be some lamebrain, but I think it was the experienced people who were listened to.

I am guessing different hospitals have different sharpnesses on dealing with things, and I know emergency medicine is a specialty practice. For most of us, it is a crapshoot. Life is fragile, not least in the ER.

The ERs hardly have a chance - they are beset with people who go there with no insurance but immediate need and sometimes not immediate need, and interrupted by people with multiple bullets inbedded.

I could go on about monetary distribution in the US, but won't. Just assume I put health care high.

I don't really have any kind of counter answer for your wail, your daughter should not have been misdiagnosed, but whoever posted about that happening was right. It also may be that tests have some control criteria, they don't just do them all the time - not the immediate doc's dictum.

I suppose you could find a lawyer and get into a litigation move, but I'm not sure that would help you. To me, it would be retribution against a battered system.

I think it would be better to work in favor of your daughter's memory, if only working in some way to provide good surroundings for children, or to get involved with some group re improving emergency medicine.

lzzie,
Your replies help me to embrace the fact that my daughters story will help others to be educated on this disease and hopefully spare others from being misdiagnoised. I truly appreciate your support as it encourages me that people such as yourself are willing to read her story and my efforts in getting awareness on what happened to her is being herd.
BLESS YOU

ossobucco,
Thank you for your reply
You are right I am having a very hard time dealing with the death of my daughter. As I am a mother and I Love her very much she is a part of me and there is no cure for a broken heart.
And there is no dout that I see failure in this ER room. I took her to get help and they misdiagnoised her and as result she died
I realize that ER rooms have all sorts of different people coming through their doors from anything from minor to trama That is why they are called ERs But to say that ERs hardly have a chance, is in its self a statement about what health care lacks. It is one of the ways in which health care must change.
Regardless of patients insurance or noninsurance sickness or illness every patient has the right to be properly treated with ever thing nessassary for recovery Thats why Doctors take a oath
Hospitals that provide ERs have a duty to the patients they treat and to be staffed with qualified health personal ,otherwise they should not be licensed .
As far as having a test criteria I am sure that they may not have to do them all the time on many of their patients, But after talking to other doctors about my daughters symtoms they cant even understand why this doctor didnot do any tests to rule out this dissease , I was told that A patient that presents with a first time seziure and unexplained nerological symtoms should have a lumbar puncture to rule out the possibility of meningitis espically in some one of my daughters age as they are vulnerable for this disease.and as you mentioned emergency medicine is a speciality so this doctor should of known to run further tests and addmitted her for further obsevation.
I wasnt asking for a answer for what you call my wail. I just wanted to tell MY Daughters Story to educate others and hopefully spare others from what happened to her.
I know there are two sides to every story so you can hold health care high but this is hers. I suppose you would think different if this was your child.
You are right I will always continue to work in my daughters memory and hopefuly improve the way that Er rooms diagnoise this disease.and the way that doctors are reviewed and be more accountable for their actions, otherwise this will never change because these kind of doctors will still be able to treat and the public unaware of their practices
As far as a lawyer I havent been down that road yet as I was only trying to find justice within the walls that they practice but so far it has not been found
MISSING MY DAUGHTER
Cheri

Cheri....

Thinking of you, especially today.

Gentle hugs...

will check in here later and talk some more... for now, keep your faith and love for Jesseca - good memories, positive spirit. x

Hey Cheri

Do you have anyone with you today? Do you have any family around you, or friends who can just be with you today?

I ask this for a reason...

I have two very close friends here who have lost loved ones. One who lost her husband in January and is trying to pull her life together minute by minute - it is so hard, she cannot accept fully, and goes thru each day willing the hours to pass by, unable to peek into the future and wishing every day away. My other friend here lost a child (similar age to Jesseca) and lives every day with every minute counting for something but has moved forward after a number of years with a pure love of life, vibrance and positivity, accepting what that person cannot change, but still loving and remembering their child every day. Two very different ways of dealing with the loss of the people they love.

Everyone has to do it their own way. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief - the only way is your way.

Both however, have family and friends around them. It's so important to have people around whom you trust and can talk to - even if they cannot understand how you are feeling, just having someone to hold your hand.

A short while ago my girl-friend and I, along with the children, took some helium balloons, went to the highest point we could find on the moors, climbed to the top, and watched the balloons fly away. It was beautiful. It was a kind of "letting go" for my friend, not letting her husband go, letting him be at peace to wherever the balloons would fly to and taking control of her grief - maybe it helped her acceptance 1%... but it was 1% more than before.

Is there someone you completely trust with whom you can just sit and cry, sit and laugh, just be with, who you feel comfortable with?

Your daughter I imagine, would wish you to find peace. You believe in your faith - and that is a good thing for you - talk to Jesseca through your faith and believe that she is at peace now.

It must be so terribly difficult for you today and with the holiday coming up - maybe do something special today if you're able, celebrate the joy she brought you, celebrate her life - let Jesseca's spirit live on through you " I’m sure that is what she would wish for you.

Take care.

Talk when you need to.

x