@reasoning logic,
reasoning logic wrote:
Quote:I get angry because my music is such a failure, I live off welfare and my soul mate doesn't dare to be around me. Although he cries every day and loves me like no other I am like a porcupine. I feel lackluster lukewarm friendships that anger me even more. Fake plastic people who would rather me write dance music than express love in music. Out of 15 years of selling my music online I have made about 100 dollars off it
Rex please forgive me and the others who have not purchased your music. If you think that you are a failure because I have not purchased your music then you might want to also include Elton John as a failure as well because I like his music a little better than yours " Not trying to be mean" But I have not purchased his music neither. I have never purchased anyone's music that I am aware of. I hope that you might look at your work as some of the best work of the past and that is in a way that they neither were rewarded for their talent in a monetary way as one may think that they should.
Tell me something Rex how often is Love rewarded in a monetary way?
I have never received a cent for the work that I share in the field of moral philosophy and I am not the only one who has experienced this phenomenon.
I love you Rex in a friendly way.
I just might say that my music may not always be online and available. I have more than once gotten frustrated and taken it all down in a drunken rage. I am in control of whether my music stays online or not at this point. Because the music industry, their multi million dollar studios and hundreds of engineers have had no real hand in its creation. No, I made all of my music in my tiny little living room.
Thank you RL for your honesty. Maybe you like Elton because you had his music blasted on the radio by the big business music industry incessantly while we were youngsters. Maybe you like his music more than mine because it was recorded by 20 engineers in a million dollar studio and mastered by the greatest golden ears in the industry? Unlike mine that was made in my living room and has received zero air time, zero mtv play and my ads threads on a2k "used to" get deleted because it was deemed "spam"...
As a life long career music artist who works tirelessly every day and night at this discipline my love has always been the music not really the monetary profit. Though monetary profit would be nice. I seem to remember a thread deleted where here once I tried to link people to my music but I can't even delete a post when get loaded and post a bunch of slurs. So it only goes one way I can make a fool of myself here but be damned if i can "make it" here. Once all the youtube videos started getting posted here the admins realized how foolish it was to delete my links to my music... So much for looking out for the little guy... I got too much music left in me to stay angry.
I am a street performer and this sometimes helps me out in the summer months. A lady once dropped a diamond ring in my hat and said, "I just have to do this, it is from Switzerland." But, being dirt poor and living off welfare is not a way to support my boyfriend and his kids.
Seeing that my own basic needs are met by the powers that be I am fortunate that I can spend every day fulfilling my art. I just wish I had something to offer him.
I on the other hand once owned 4000 vinyl records I had to sell half of them because they outgrew my living space I was willing to share. I still have 2000 records left hand picked out of the 4000 and have rebought many songs on 8 tracks, cassettes, cd's and now in digital form.
I played the game but the music industry has no interest in playing with me.
Still I have my profound love for music, the same music my father discouraged me, even fought me, over not pursuing and the same music my mother shielded me from him to allow me to pursue. From rock band practices when I was 12, private schools that specialized in music, college and the University of Maine where I was a performing music major.
I have many stories of the road from that time. Hippy farms out in the woods my mom sitting up all night waiting for me to come home. I would sneak out many nights when I was only 12 years old. At that time I also had a huge record collection and repertoire of many popular songs. All I needed was my guitar and I was in. Never once did it matter at these events that I was gay.
I have my voice, talent and sheer lover for the art. I remember my hometown with lines down the street waiting to get into my dances and I the lead singer was only 17 years old while my band members were all over 30. We practiced 3 or 4 nights a week while I worked a job, went to high school and college.
The town nearly demolished the high school one night during one of my dances. They ripped the steel doors off the school so they would not have to pay to get in. They broke into the chemistry lab pilfered the place and broke the windows to the girls bathroom. My mother and father refused to ever chaperon another one of my dances. My mom said she had never seen so much sex standing up. Quite different from her church choir... The town decided to move my dances to the town tennis courts where the whole town got drunk and nearly demolished an entire forest, if you can imagine that.
After several standing ovations of over 500 people, one large event at Burlington Vermont in the performing arts center a faculty only event.
A standing ovation of over 500 people with just me on my guitar at the University of Maine at Machias standing room only. Joan Johnson my professor (An American Fulbright student who learned to play organ in Germany on the Big Ben of all pipe organs.) judged the night and said that yes others got standing ovations too but during my performance she said you could hear a pin drop and she said after the song ended every hand hit at the exact same moment.
She and I cried in front of the class when I told her I was leaving the university to go to a private school. She was a lesbian and I to this day still learned from and admire her beyond what my words could relay here.
I was in college at the time but I had still not even left high school yet because I had out grown my high school music program (five years of clarinet). Every day I would skip my chemistry labs and head off to the university and work on music there well into the night. Today I play over 9 stringed instruments, keyboards, FM synths, samplers, piano, and the whole computer side of music creation, mixing, mastering and publishing etc... Have you ever tried to record or take a video of yourself? In other words without the music industries help I have had to learned to do it all on my own.
One standing ovation at Hyde school in Bath Maine again over 500 people the school kids, faculty and parents to just me and my guitar.
Then onto many nights and years of singing to crowds all over Maine where I drove 2 and 3 hours to gigs and played four hours only to drive back and return the next night. Countless bars, clubs, cafe's, coffee houses, jamborees, rainbow events. One day I remember performing 8 hours with only an hour break in-between.
I realized over time no matter what fans did for me the music industry had its own plans. I was paid the lowest possible wage but there were many other artists that wished they had my gigs. While today's artists play two songs for many thousands of dollars and will walk off stage if they get pissed at the slightest provocation. Sound fair? Sound democratic?
The industry has the music buyers locked up tight. I am here because yes you do not buy music. If you did they would be here not me. I do want to thank the person who ever you are from England who recently in the last month bought three of my songs.
I have had an album called "I'll Follow You" on Google Play that I created last year for my boyfriend. It was my hope that if I could get even one song to hit it would provide me with the wherewithal to support his kids and him. Not one single song has sold there in well over 6 months...
I go there and check only to be continuously discouraged.
I don't listen to my albums anymore and haven't for a number of years. I do have a nice record player all set up too. I only listen to my own music. The albums sit in several closets and drawers. Occasionally I will take an old song and make a music video out of it but otherwise my listening days are mostly over.
I wrote this in a hurry sorry it seems so scattered. I hate writing all about me and seems so egotistical but how else are people able to know me? Most people have press releases, publicists, lawyers, managers, agents, special appearances on Oprah Winfrey and the Rolling Stone magazine courtesy of the record company to review their art but i got only me. I can't care anymore how egotistical I sound, I am what I am...
