Biden's plan to start CW-II

...Three veterans of the Bush White House have been held in criminal contempt of Congress for refusing to respond to subpoenas: former counsel Harriet Miers, former political adviser Karl Rove, and [img]current chief of staff Josh Bolten.[/img]

"Why did Mister SlicKKK have to kill Fluffy to try to scare my mommy??

In the 1800's, when the sun never set on the British Empire, there developed a small bit of nastiness, a wee insurection if you will, in the sub-continent. The Governor sent word to the Home Office as it were, that things were getting a bit sporting for the manpower at hand, and requested the Queens attention to the matter.

Her Royal Highness was not amused. With thoughful haste the fleet was assembled, the 12th Lancers and Highland Guard were boarded, and they set forth on their mission. Keep in mind the era. It took several months for communiques to reach the homeland, and more months for the fleet to reach Bombay.(kinda like today) Anyway, it was a long and arduous voyage. Thru the equatorial heat, round the Cape of Good Hope and back into the stifling heat once more.

The fleet, finally moored in Bombay, disembarked the finest the Queen could offer on the rabble of the Colony. Assembled in proper formation, they were greeted by General Riddley and his Sergeant Major, one Mike O'Hoolihan. Sgt. Major O'Hoolihan was a man whose dedication to the Queen was known around the Empire, his standards beyond reproach, and lastly his expectations higher than most mortals could meet. Nothing less than absolute obedience and total compliance was acceptable. On another note was his presence, that of a moving mountain. A fine Irish ruffian as a youth, he could perform physical feats of strength often unachievable by two or even three average troopers. Once before he was united to his calling he'd put a Beligian Draft Horse in the bell tower before the Sabbath ceremonies...well that's another story...I digress. Suffice it to say, none but a fool would challenge the Sgt Major.

The Sgt. Major took charge of the formations and led them in splendid style thru the streets of Bombay to the soccer stadium where in fact some would bivoac. Too, it was a good place to address the soldiers about their mission and what was expected.

After a short time he had dispensed with the assignments for quarters for the officers and enlisted men alike, the political and tactical issues they faced, and finally he addressed issues unique to India, the people, and such. It was noted by those in the front ranks that even though the temperature was near 105*, the humidity overwhelming and though several of the soldiers had collapsed during this discourse, that Sgt Major O'Hoolihan had yet to perspire. He stood before them resplendant in red and white, ramrod straight, his voice clear for everyone to hear(perhaps even in Calcutta) It was awe inspiring, and perhaps fear inspiring too. They were, to a man, silently praising the Good Lord that he was on their side.

He spoke, "Men, there are three things encumbant upon you during you stay. One, you must not eat the local food as your systems are not adjusted to their fare and it will certainly make you ill. Her Majesty does not suffer sick call gracefully, neither do I. Two, you must not comport with the local women. There are very strict social taboos about this, and we have enough trouble as it is. I do not do so, neither will you. Three, you must use all caution with you are confronted by the Orange Banded gungasnake, which is a snake common to the area that is very agressive and whose bite is always fatal. The Queen has no use for dead soldiers, neither do I, therefore untimely death is not permitted. If you are confronted by the Orange Banded gungasnake you will recognize it by the alternating orange and black bands over the full length of its body. They are tipically 4-6 feet in length. Do not run from them, as they are faster than a horse. You must face them. Quickly grab its tail with one hand, its body with the other. Pull its tail sharply until its head is between thumb and forefinger, crush its head and discard. Are there any questions?" There weren't.

The very next morning, the Sgt Major went about his rounds, and that included a trip to the infirmary. The good doctor, a major, was perhaps a bit informal due to his realistic perception that he was in fact indispensable, and indeed, what would they do in any case, send him to India? Anyway, a cheery " Hi Mike, about your rounds I see!" The Sgt Major bristled at this of course but contained himself. "Yes doctor, any sick calls?" "Only one today," he paused as the Sgt Major's chest swelled with satisfaction. "...down at the end, Cpl. Peters." "I see", as his gaze turned to a figure fully swathed in bangdages, only a small hole for one eye, and another for his mouth. He looked back at the Doctor, eyebrow arched. "Afraid it was the Orange Banded gungasnake Mike. Sometimes it turns out this way." The Sgt Major was incredulous. "He's still alive? And what in the world are the bandages for?" "Perhaps you should ask him.", said the doctor.

The corporal quaked as he saw his presence tower above him. "Sgt. Major! Sir!", trying vainly to lay at attention. "Rest easy lad, what happened to you? The good Doctor said it was the Orange Banded gungasnake..." "Aye Sgt. Major. I had to go to the loo last night about 2:00, and I remembered what you had said about the gungasnake. I took a candle and was careful not to wake me mates. I was walking down the trail when I saw it. Looked just like you said Sgt Major. It hadn't moved, so I set the candle down carefully, so as to not disturb it, then I set about what you told us to do. I grabbed its tail with my right hand, and its body with my left. I gave 'er a hard yank just like you said Sgt Major!" "Well great thunder boy, did you lose your grip?" "No sir, I rammed me thumb right up the arse of a Bengal Tiger!"