my wife left me for another man

yeah, women do that a lot. thats why i learned not to get into relationships.

its over bro, the more you cling the more she pushes. just stop and ignore her, she will either ignore you back because she doesnt care or wonder why you are pursuing her anymore.

you cant need a woman, no matter how much she wants you too, you can only want them.

My gilrfrend for 14 years has gone with another man and spending with him every weekend, we have 12 yers old doughter which I try to make shore that she doesn't not find out, she has a house and I moved in 12 years ago and giving her $1000 p/m since and paying all bills, what I do now is just trying to ignore her I don't talk to her at all and will never forgive or forget will never take her back never I'm taking some depresants such as St.Johns Worth and for sleep velerian, I was just hopping to wait for my daughter finish happily High Shool waht is another 5 years if I can hold on just for her and I storngly believe my girlfiend will one day break up with him as every relation ship have its time, it is very hard for me but I try to do for my doughter and if I can hold on till she finish high school I will tell to my girlfriend: Since I see our future is fading away and you are happy with another man it is time for me to set you free so please give me my engagement ring back so I can free your soul please. Any advice please, Rudi.

One should think carefully before marring Asians aspecially saty away from: Philipinos, Thai.

as someone going through a similar experience, it's not fair to use the kids against her. I have been married to my wife for 10 years. known her for 17. We have 2 children together and she has 2 children from a previous marriage. i have always been the provider and i took her off of welfare and into a nice home etc. When all kids went to school she got a job and new friends, one thing went to another and she had an affair. She has moved out of our home and into his. The first thing I did was protect my rights. I got a separation agreement from online and filled it out. She signed it and gave up her home, family and signed custody of all 4 children to me! She has always been a great mom and she just walked away. Sometimes people need to get space and figure out their priorities. I still love my wife, and I would take her back in a minute. She even wants to be my friend as I make her feel good and safe. I have tried to distance myself, but its hard. Listen to the others advice and protect your rights immediately. Then worry about the emotional issues.

as someone going through a similar experience, it's not fair to use the kids against her. I have been married to my wife for 10 years. known her for 17. We have 2 children together and she has 2 children from a previous marriage. i have always been the provider and i took her off of welfare and into a nice home etc. When all kids went to school she got a job and new friends, one thing went to another and she had an affair. She has moved out of our home and into his. The first thing I did was protect my rights. I got a separation agreement from online and filled it out. She signed it and gave up her home, family and signed custody of all 4 children to me! She has always been a great mom and she just walked away. Sometimes people need to get space and figure out their priorities. I still love my wife, and I would take her back in a minute. She even wants to be my friend as I make her feel good and safe. I have tried to distance myself, but its hard. Listen to the others advice and protect your rights immediately. Then worry about the emotional issues.

I feel very sad that you have been through such a hard time in your marriage.
You deserve a better treatment than this...

As a woman, I could understand what exactly your wife is thinking at this moment:

She's looking for a "Connection" but she doesn't really know that a "Connection" is just a form of "Sexual Excitement"; sexual conncection has nothing to do with family love and a father's love in raising up the children. She needs some time to figure out and you can help her. (I would like to give you some tips in the end of my comment)

Before that, please understand, women tend to link "true love" to romance/excitement/sexual connection when they can't find "connection" with their husband or when sex became a dull routine. Usually, she would mistakenly told herself, "I don't love him anymore."

She's now in love with another man and she's confused because of "Sexual Connection," yes, I know it hurts, nevertheless, if you are able to forgive her misbehaviors/unfaithfulness, I can give you some tips.

(English is not my first language, please never mind if I didn't write it correctly.)

1. Stay cool and stay away, give her some time to figure out.

She needs some time to know that sexual connection will fade away soon or later no matter which man she has crushed into.

2. Focus on your work/career and leave your children to her and that man to take care

When excitement fades away and it's about time to face "reality". That man would back off and dump your wife if he's not that serious to take over your responsibilities as a good step father. Don't worry about your kids in his hands, your wife will protect her youngs more than you do.

(Let your wife has a chance to see that man's true ****-up intention.)

3. Protect your pride--you're innocent and a victim, not her!
I think she's a bit spoilt by you, so dare to put all the faults on you.

As a loving husband as you, your love for your wife is unconditional. You might not been a perfect husband for your wife but your love is true and you would do whatever to make her happy, but you might be over doing it and over down grading yourself.

You no need to allow her justifying her misbehaviors and unfaithfulness, putting all the faults on you.

4.You might want to make clear with her in your own words.

Below is just my idea for your reference:

I'm not a perfect husband and I'm willing to improve myself to make you happy because you're my beloved wife but that doesn't mean you can justify your unfaithfulness and irresponsible misbehaviors as an imature mother of our children only because I'm not a perfect husband.

You have damaged our family and all the harms you have caused to our children, you know they're going to suffer in the hurt of a broken family in the future, you should be responsible.

My idea is better don't give in and blame yourself because it's not your faults.
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You need to know that you're now confronting a woman who has lost her passion/excitement for you, if you still want to spend the rest of your life with this woman, you want to stay calm, attractive and cool.

If I were you, I would:

Don't beg her.
Don't **** her.
Don't call her.
Don't need attention from her.
Don't let her see you crying/being week.
Don't tell her you miss her.
Don't tell her you love her after she did this dumbshit on you.
Leave the kids to her and her affair to handle.
Buy a luxury car, nice clothings, or take a great trip overseas and have fun without being controlled a wife instead. Why not? Now she can't complain how you want your money to be spent. Take the advantages!!
Tell her, you're leaving for Australia, for example, and ask her to take care of the kids.

(No need to report to her where in Australia you go, how long your trip, or who goes with you, you don't want to report to her, she's not your boss...let her guess and spend time thinking about you.) If she asks, just say please take good care of the children, I will let you know when I come back. Make it really short and cool. Ignore her and stay cool, enjoy your life!

Focus on your career and achievements and be a real man... No offence, ok?
You would look more attractive being a successful man than begging her like a dog. These are things you can do to impress her. She would look at you differently and spend some time thinking about you.

When she figures out her affair is a ****-up, she would turn back to beg for your forgiveness, and that's what you want.

If she is so stubborn and blind, leaving such a good husband for a ****-up, you want to give yourself a deadline of waiting and get ready to move on meanwhile. If you really can't let go, I will think about other things to help you.

If you like my dumb suggestions please add me as your friend at [email protected]

When she told you it is over, you should offer to help her pack. Be strong because you lost the battle, you will never win her back with love from you. And the little romp you had, I would bet that she did not have an orgasm. Be thankful it didn't happen at the end of you life. I found out what freedom 55 really is when my wife blind sided me. Let me tell you men are not in control of anything only themselves so get a grip while you can and let go of the love you thought you had.

You're a good man...really sorry you're wife turned out later on to be a selfish stupid loose smelly whore :\ You could give it a go again but honestly she is just treating you like ****, you do not deserve that...I know it's hard...my parents went through the same situation when i was younger...honestly you're children are the number one priority. Good luck

Hey kjrc, I wonder if you will see this reply 5 years after your post. I am in a very similar situation that you were in. So I'm wondering how it turned out after so much time has went by? It seems impossible to think of a life without her, but she refuses to give me another chance or even listen to me.

@chaley0803
I'm also curious to find out. I have been married for more than thirteen years. We have a 7 year old child. I was told 7 months ago by my "wife" that she wants a divorce. I received the divorce papers about 5 months ago. She said that it was because she couldn't trust me to keep a steady job (6 jobs in 10 years). It seems that there also is some other "exciting" love interest that entered the picture (most likely by way of internet / social media) of a person she was interested in before we got married. Apparently, he go divorced last year and perhaps she thinks "this is her chance". Yes it has been hurting me. She did text me once, saying, "Please forgive me" (for hurting me). Yet, so far, she does not seem to have any interest in reconnecting with me or saving the marriage. I am still hopeful. However, I agree with the advice to give her space (which I did not do a good job of doing), and take care of myself (and our child). By the way, I started my new job on the exact same day that she filed for the divorce.

She doesn't seem like a good person.

damn man she felt nothing when you had sex? its the motion of the ocean tho...its not your loss ...those panties probably already slid off so easy for new men. dont sweat it