What to do? Grandparents telling grandchildren they’re parents are stupid, selfish, etc.

Erm...does school mean your parents do not care for your children at all?

Would you put up with any of this from a non-family babysitter?

If the answer is no, then the answer should be no for family members who are caregivers of your children. They should know that they have a responsibility to be good role models.

Perhaps they're simply past it, in terms of patience.

It's truly not acceptable behaviour from people who are supposed to be helping you with your children.

huh. In reference to DrewDad's post, I actually have been thinking that your parents are very good at taking advantage of your feelings.

I been fighting posting here all day...

Linkat, I have read you from afar for a while, and have no wish to spook you.

Do YOU feel in your heart that your folks support YOU as a parent.

Things are crumbling now, and it is not your responsibility to "parent" yours, but if it is messing with your kids, you hafta take a second look...

When school starts, my older will be 5 days a week so it is unlikely they will care for her - maybe a stray day or so when there is a school vacation. My younger one will be in 3 days a week full time, but she isn't as in tune with things my parents are saying.

Also this just started. I do think yesterday was a fluke sort of thing. I sat them down last night to get the full story. Seems they were very naughty and my mom flew off the handle - can't fully blame her as I know I have when they get out of control.

Fortunately that doesn't happen too often - it seems to happen when they are bored or have too much time around each other. And this was the case. I gave them a stern talking to - and also a conversation about calling me and asking me to pick them up - that is only to be used in an emergency and I explained the ramifications to me and them if it happens again.

You may be right - however, if school wasn't starting next week, I would talk with them. Also, most of the stuff happened immediately after my niece moved so it seems more the timing.

I am torn as if I talk with them, I know they will be defensive. I am not sure what it would accomplish, but making them more angry. There are just a few more days left of being over at my parents (except the youngest) and she doesn't have an issue - the girl doesn't listen in and gets so wrap up in her own playing she doesn't notice anything. Her older sister is the opposite - she hears EVERYTHING. Believe me - you can't hide anything from that one!

The kids seem fine. I talked with my older daughter and she said they behaved well today. She also seems/sounds very happy today.

Hope things stay more settled.

Linkat, I can guess with confidence that your Mom is afraid. From what I've read, you are a caring daughter, and as you well know, you are difficult to part with. Talk to your mom. Re-assure her that you will miss her too, and so will the grands. You will still need her, maybe more, because she won't be so close. Whatever it takes to soothe her fears. Trust me, it'll help. Good luck in your new job, and congrats!

thanks but this is way old news. We ended up not relocating as I was offered a position to stay.

Wait a minute --- your kids were fighting and throwing shoes at each other and your issue is what your parents say to them in the midst of all this?

You are hearing one side of this (your kids') You know better than to get in the middle of fighting relatives.

Tell your kids to behave better when they are at grandparents, because they are old and cranky and can't take the drama and fighting.

When your kids are behaving, and your parents STILL tell them that they are stupid and selfish, then get another babysitter and limit exposure to them.

(I did not take my grandkids shopping together when they were young because they fought all the time. So that stopped. Now, at 16 and 14, they can interact better with grandma in the store)

ummmm -= this was over 3 years ago....there are no issues at this point in time

also there was a history there from previous posts so you would not understand what was going on ...

Please do not comment further as there are serious medical issues now with one of parents so it is very sensitive to me. This is all past stuff so I'd appreciate no longer bringing it up.

What to say? No grand parent should run down their grand child's own parents. One thing maybe you should do is not discuss your parents with your child. Leave the child out of it and handle it between the adults. You need to be firm with your parents and say to them "I refuse to allow you to run me down to my children because it is affecting your grand children very badly". And mean it. But also say that you do not want this to escalate any further and you do not want your own children involved in the adult discussions. It's a tough one because grand parents obviously love their grand children but it's pretty juvenile to run you down to your own children.

ask em if they remember the $5,000.00 you loan them, when they say NO then you go to a doctor and tell him that they can't remember stuff... like money and you need to send them to a home where they can be safe.
Then sell there old house and you and your girl go shopping! LOL

your fokes are your fokes... look at your self and ask if they did a good job?
they did a great job... right! now kid have an all drama lifestyle to be in the norm... I'll bet your fokes will figure it out, remember how often you got sent out to play as a kid??? I'd bet yours get maybe... 20% of outside playtime compared to what you got. kids are different today.

I'd say your daughter have to tell them whenever she go to visit her grandparent, not to bad mouth her parents. She should just rather say to them" hey, you know that's my mom and dad and I don't allow anyone to speak about them that way? They don't speak of you that way?"

That not nice of your parents, you should also tell them no kid want to hear bad things about their parents, as you are their roll models.

Good luck!

yah, I agree go pick them up. The don't want to be there! And put up a fight other wise the problem will remain a problem, talk talk talk talk now! not later.

No useful advice.it's a part of understanding & Relationship between them.

If the grandparents are making the kids unhappy, keep the kids away from them..