As a suggestion, you could try the following exercise :
- form a picture in your mind of where you would like to be in 25 years time - you need to know where you're going and what you want. (btw, the clearer, more real the picture the better)
- now imagine that you are the other person in the first picture (your perfect other half)...this is 25 years down the track - and look at yourself through his eyes - who does he see, what does he feel towards her, what does he like about her, what sort of chemistry does he feel, etc.
- now imagine that you are a third party, an observer (25 years in the future), looking at you and your other half. Imagine what this observer sees as he/she watches you two interacting. Does he/she see the chemistry or is there friction...what about guestures of love, joy, smiles, laughs
How do all these pictures fit together? Are they all moving in the same direction? Can each of these pictures be used to refine where you are going?
From a personal point of view, it's desirable to keep both the goal, and the process of getting to the goal in mind (most people forget about the goal, or don't put any thought into it - if you don't have a clear picture, you don't have a clear direction, which weakens your decision making ability as well as your personal growth)
On another track, work on yourself first - what your values are, what your needs are (categories include emotional, financial, intimacy, interpersonal, recognition/attention, intellectual, spiritual etc)...if you don't look after yourself, you can't look after others (because something inside you will always be seeking to have your needs met, and influencing everything you do).
And on another track again, your mind is a goal seeking mind - if you tell yourself "I'm not good enough" it will seek to make you good enough, if you tell yourself "I'm clumsly" you'll find yourself staying clumsy, if you say "I can't do it" it will find ways for you to not be able to do it...in other words, be careful what you say to yourself. Belief in your ability is almost always a self fulfilling prophecy
ie positive beliefs = positive self fulfilling prophecy, negative beliefs = negative self fulfilling prophecy
Hope it helps in some way