Why don't we just take the safety labels off everything?

Setanta wrote:

If you ever have a few idles hours (and like the actor Alan Arkin), find a copy of The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!.

Oh, I loved that.

I don't recall the quote, though.

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Lt. Rozanov (Arkin) allegedly speaks English. His shore party steals a bizarre assortment of clothing, and then shuffles down the street, huddled together. Lt. Rozanove has coached them to say: "Emergency, emergency, everybody to get from street." They encounter a child, and, in unison, say: "Emairgency, emairgency, everybody to get from strit." The kid's eyes get real big, and you can read the kids mind, "These guys are wacko!" and the kid runs off. The Russians, who have been very nervous, now smile and nod at one another, relieved that their clever plan is unfolding as expected.

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I remember a cute blond fella with blue eyes.

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Ladies and gentlemen,

This:

http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q173/FedralBI/Junk/SR.jpg

Is a staple remover, a rather mundane piece of equipment used in many offices across the world.

On the box is the following warning:

Do not place in mouth.

Now, unless you are a 2 year old, placing the above object in ones mouth doesn't seem like a good idea.

However, the above warning is obviously NOT for 2 year olds. (Since they can't read it.) No, the above warning is on that pack because, AT LEAST ONCE, someone must have placed one in their mouth, run around the office, (Probably yelling "I'm a vampire".) and hurt themselves. Then, some lawyer convinced the above idiot that they could make a bundle of cash by suing the maker of the staple remover for obviously not warning the users of this product that it was dangerous to place it in their mouth. Shocked

Such is the world we live in...

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My stapler did NOT come with a warning against stapling my tongue, cheek, or gums. Ergo, one might envision a circumstance in which it might seem prudent, even necessary, to put a staple remover into one's mouth, necessitating a warning against this behavior.

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Remove this label and we could speed the elimination of dumbasses that need warning labels ...

http://www.elanso.com/U/A29/d41d8cd98f00b204e9800998ecf8427e/128353502988750000.jpg

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http://www.threadless.com/productbanner/488/banner1.png

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In the US, bundles of firewood are sold in supermarkets all wrapped in plastic bearing a warning label that says "CAUTION, fireplace logs are flammable."

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People...those examples are HILARIOUS!!!

I can make a case for allowing nature to take its course for people who need those sorts of labels.

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Yeah, but the problem is that someone who needs to be told that the individual pieces of wood in a bundle of firewood are flammable is the kind of person whose stupidity might burn down more than just his own house.

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I used to worry about the warning re "dont drink" on several of the old Listerine style mouthwashes. I never realized, even when I drank too much, that some really down and outers were getteing hammered on the fine cocktail of glyptol, eucalyptol, thymol, and ethanol in the mouthwash at about 26% by weight. Gaaaaack !

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How about the hair dryers that say "Do not use in the shower"

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Setanta wrote:

Yeah, but the problem is that someone who needs to be told that the individual pieces of wood in a bundle of firewood are flammable is the kind of person whose stupidity might burn down more than just his own house.

You think a label's gonna stop that?

farmerman wrote:

How about the hair dryers that say "Do not use in the shower"

Indeed one ought not.

Taking that one off might relieve us of many idiots.

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dlowan wrote:

Setanta wrote:
Yeah, but the problem is that someone who needs to be told that the individual pieces of wood in a bundle of firewood are flammable is the kind of person whose stupidity might burn down more than just his own house.

You think a label's gonna stop that?

If the joker can read and understand the label, it might. The important thing, from a lawyerly point of view, is establishing liability.

Quote:

farmerman wrote:
How about the hair dryers that say "Do not use in the shower"

Indeed one ought not.

Taking that one off might relieve us of many idiots.

This one is one of the better ones. Might it not, though, relieve of us a great many blondes (i.e., females)?

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hmph! Well...I am flakey at times..but even I know not to use the blow dryer in the shower...I did have to pull it out of the toilet once...I did unplug it first though.

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nothing beats a nice hot bath and a fresh piece of toast bread, freshly toasted from your bathside appliance set.

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Setanta wrote:

dlowan wrote:
Setanta wrote:
Yeah, but the problem is that someone who needs to be told that the individual pieces of wood in a bundle of firewood are flammable is the kind of person whose stupidity might burn down more than just his own house.

You think a label's gonna stop that?

If the joker can read and understand the label, it might. The important thing, from a lawyerly point of view, is establishing liability.

Quote:
farmerman wrote:
How about the hair dryers that say "Do not use in the shower"

Indeed one ought not.

Taking that one off might relieve us of many idiots.

This one is one of the better ones. Might it not, though, relieve of us a great many blondes (i.e., females)?

Well, given that blonde denotes female person of light hairness, your words are something of a redundancy of definitionness.

However.....I think the underlying assumptions, to wit:

i. Only wimmins use hair-dryers

ii. Blondes are dumb

are unwarranted.

Me might see a dearth of the dumb of all hair-colours and genders.

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You're a cheat wabbit. You start a silly thread, and expect to apply serious standards to the responses of others.

I suspect that blonde wabbits, especially those so pale blonde as to appear white, would be the first to go . . .

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dlowan wrote:

Me might see a dearth of the dumb of all hair-colours and genders.

<snork>

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Setanta wrote:

You're a cheat wabbit. You start a silly thread, and expect to apply serious standards to the responses of others.

I suspect that blonde wabbits, especially those so pale blonde as to appear white, would be the first to go . . .

Amn't, don't and and wouldn't.

DrewDad wrote:

dlowan wrote:
Me might see a dearth of the dumb of all hair-colours and genders.

<snork>

Snicker.

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Why don't we just take the safety labels off everything?

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