Linkat wrote:I don't think it is funny mismi - I tell my kids all the time when they stomp on an ant outside for no reason other than it seems fun, how cruel it is. Why would you do that? He isn't doing anything to you and I start talking about the ant's family and crap.
I even once scolded a guy friend of mine when he stomped on bug once. I said why did you do that -its cruel. He said so what it is just a big dumb bug. So I said, so if a giant came out and stomped on I would say, so what he's just a big dumb guy.
He didn't appreciate my comment much.
mmm hmmm....I've said that to adults too.
well, not the "how would you feel if" but I'll say "but that was a living thing, just like you or I. Even though it doesn't have a thought process doesn't mean it didn't have the right to be alive."
Parents, educate me about something....
I've heard you say "even my 5/8 year old has empathy towards....."
I believe that. However, it seems to me there is just some time bomb that goes off in the heads of the 15 yr old that can totally negate any good upbringing he's had.
When you have an 8 year old, doesn't what Mom or Dad say have a lot more importance to him at that age, than when he is 15?
Using my 4 1/2 yr old friend R as an example...she lives 1 house down from me, we are the house she's supposed to run to if there was ever a problem, in other words, she knows and trusts me.
The other day, I was working outside, and she came outdoors. I called over "Hey R. come over here, I want to show you something really neat."
She looked over at me, then looked up at her house, because she knows she's not supposed to leave her front yard because "My Mom said so" I realized that and just took whatever it was over to her. I don't know how many years that's going to last. Seems to me a lot of 15 year olds think their parents are totally dumber than dirt. I know I did, and I know a lot of you did.
My step-daughter was a really bright 8, 9, 10 year old.....but there was 1 or 2 years where she went through the "I dunnno" "doesn't matter to me" phase that was very difficult...and this was a really good kid.
A 15 year old has a lot more on their mind than a kid. You may teach them not to go with the crowd, but that doesn't mean they don't feel the pressure.
I guess what I'm saying is that I think some 8 or 9 year olds have a lot more empathy and thoughtfulness than they will in 6 or 7 years.....then, after a certain age, they get it back again, and more.
How many times have parents thought "You used to be such a good kid, now you're driving me crazy!" Then, in another 6 or 10 years, you're thinking what a good adult they are.
I don't know, I just haven't heard anything that changes my feelings that this 16 year launched the baby without realizing this was a really bad life choice. Asked today, he would not be able to tell you what was running through his mind.
Again, that doesn't take him off the hook for the behavior.