Boy, 9, rides US subway alone

we would hardly ever be alone but would be in groups of three , four and more kids .
of course , that also allowed us to make more mischief

In my opinion, the willingness of parents to let children wander around a neighborhood at a fairly early age (9-10), or play alone outside all day at even an earlier age, back in the 1950's in NYC outer borough neighborhoods, was directly related to the common knowledge that kidnapping was punishable by the electric chair.

Quote:

hamburger wrote:
we would hardly ever be alone but would be in groups of three , four and more kids .
of course , that also allowed us to make more mischief

Boy, your post brought up something that I had forgotten for decades. A bunch of us kids found a box of groceries that had been left at the front door of a house on our block. We sat down on the cement, and proceeded to eat anything that was easily edible.

We were FOUR!

This thing about increased wariness and protectiveness being directly tied to an increase in crime is bull in the first place, I think. I mean, crime in big city-America has been dropping steadily and impressively for, what, ten, twenty years now? And yet people get only more zealously protective - and at an alarming rate, too.

On the other hand, this whole outrage that was provoked by the story that this thread started with also seems a wholly middle class/upper class thing. I read through a lengthy page of comments about this story once, with everyone chiming in with fierce passion and opinion about what was wrong, right or responsible, and then someone said well I live in LA, and I see black and hispanic schoolkids on the bus all the time. When both parents have to work for a living and there's none of that nanny stuff, kids just have to fend for themselves to some extent -- and that's pretty much how it's always been. The hysteria comes with the luxury of having the opportunity to hover over your child non-stop (or have a nanny do so) in the first place..

Foofie wrote:

In my opinion, the willingness of parents to let children wander around a neighborhood at a fairly early age (9-10), or play alone outside all day at even an earlier age, back in the 1950's in NYC outer borough neighborhoods, was directly related to the common knowledge that kidnapping was punishable by the electric chair.

Not in Europe.

And one of the points the original mom whose story this was made was: we happily bundle kids into cars, even though the statistics of children injured and killed in car accidents should tell us that is MUCH more likely and scary.

Riding on subways and buses were no big deal.

Not in the U.S. either. As a product of a NYC outer borough childhood, I can tell you that this was not an issue. Neignborhoods were safe places. Riding on subways and buses were no big deal.

Telephone? You had telephones?

ehBeth, this is from my mom... you must know where we lived.

We lived in the Centurion Apartments, next door to the first Four Season Hotel. I think it became a very tacky hotel but was quite posh at the time.

We were on Jarvis Street near the corner of College. We were just around the corner from Allan Gardens which is way bigger and better now.

Apparently the mother has been dubbed the worst parent ever. Have a look on the BBC website!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7449795.stm

My 24-year-old son sent me the link. He was appalled!

My 5 and 6 year old sons went to school by minibus, subway train, and walk when we lived in Hong Kong. They were in the charge of their 9 year old brother at first but if he was ill, they could go on their own. They were perfectly able to do it, very responsible, and proud of their achievements. For a holiday, I'd give the three of them a handful of HK dollars, and say 'go and see how far you can get on the buses today'. They would come back after a few hours, bursting with information and excitement about how far they'd gone and what they'd seen. If they had to go alone, they knew the way and were perfectly confident.

Since then, I have seen a BBC programme in which only one out of the twelve 7/8 year old children in the survey was allowed beyond the garden gate without an adult.

We then complain about fast food and tv ruining the kids' health!

And when asked, children are 'afraid'. Who has instilled this fear? The media, of course, working on the natural desire of every parent to do the best for his child. But what is the best?

Roberta wrote:

Riding on subways and buses were no big deal.

Maybe it should still not be a big deal...

There was recently an outcry in New York City when a journalist wrote about letting her son go on the subway at nine years old. What's your opinion about that?

You know, the kid was giving every sign in the world that he was ready. Here's the thing: What's the goal of raising kids? It's to produce an independent, autonomous adult, right? It doesn't happen overnight. There's a long march towards independence, and it begins at birth. Parents have to continually let out the leash. You quietly from the sidelines monitor your kids, see whether they're ready for the next step. That kid was giving every sign that he was ready for the next step.


But aren't deviant adults also ready to pounce?

I think the problem now is that the adults just totally unleash their anxieties on their children. There was a time not very long ago when you had the same worries. You just took the leap of trust, a very important word. You trusted your child to take the next step of growth. And I think it's really important because society is founded on trust. That's the glue of society, of culture, the glue of intimate relationships.


Don't urban parents need to be more protective of their children?

It could be argued that it's the other way around. There are many more people around to see if there is something untoward. Why would urban parents need to be more protective? My older son took the subway when he was about nine or ten years old by himself. We were sitting at the dinner table one night and we were talking. He said, "I've figured out that if it ever looks like there's going to be trouble on the subway, I act like I'm a little bit crazy and no one goes near me. Okay?" This is just a classic case of problem-solving which kids can do if they're given some lumps and bumps to cut their teeth on. He figured that out by himself.


But you see stories all the time on TV about the sexual abuse of kids.

That is so out of proportion to the reality. Parents think I'm a child molester when I say it, but the Department of Justice data for the last fifteen years is very clear on the subject. As parental hysteria has escalated due to anxieties, the actual data show that this is not a legitimate fear. When you look at the Department of Justice data, this is just not a major phenomenon. You've got to know the kids are in far more danger inside the home than outside the home. Stepfathers are a big problem. Sexual abuse happens in the home.