Mame wrote:Setanta wrote:There is certainly no reason to assume that being the parent of one or more children makes someone more knowledgeable about crime statistics.
True. Or more knowledgeable about children and child-rearing.
Of course - but it is easier to not to attach an emotional fear when you do not have children I think. I would be easy breezy about it too if I did not have kids. I know in my mind that it will probably be okay - but what if? It is my job to protect and care for my children. When I hear all of the scarey stories on the news it certainly gives me pause and makes me reconsider what I will and won't let my kids do. That is natural. I certainly want to release them...that is part of being a good parent as well....but actually doing it...very hard.
Mame wrote:Setanta wrote:There is certainly no reason to assume that being the parent of one or more children makes someone more knowledgeable about crime statistics.
True. Or more knowledgeable about children and child-rearing.
Given the behavior of people whom one sees about oneself every day, there is good reason to assume that not very many people are good at child-rearing. The ability to ****, get pregnant and plop out a child is not
prima facie evidence of an ability to raise children well.
I knew absolutely nothing about children when I had my first. My best playmates were my dolls.
I tried to raise my kids to be independent because it was forced upon me.
When they learned to drive, that's when my real worrying began.
Walter Hinteler wrote:When I flew from Albuquerque to Washington/Dulles two weeks ago, a 12-year old was sitting in front of me, flying alone as well. (And many made comments about his parents, too!)
Now, who let Walter on an aeroplane by himself alone. I want that person's badge number.
This quote
nimh wrote:Roberta wrote:Is there anyone who can imagine this scenario being played out today? Children playing on a city street without a parent in sight. It being okay to ask for help from total strangers and getting that help as a matter of course.
And the funny thing is - there was some new research in the UK a couple months ago, and it said that child kidnapping cases happened as often then as now - no more often, no less often.
is from this thread:
http://www.able2know.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=103372&sid=0a56f77739a8dd12512a8d44c0947c6e
I rode the NYC buses when I was 9 and the subway when I was 10.
Interesting that this came up today because I was thinking about something very similar yesterday.
While driving to a job site yesterday morning I noticed the number of cars sitting at every intersection. At first I didn't think much of it but then it dawned on me what was going on. These were parents who were driving their kids to the end of the street and sitting there with them to wait for the morning school bus. At every street corner there were betwen 8 and 15 or so cars/trucks sitting there waiting on the school bus.
I thought about it a bit on my way to the job site and the whole thing seemed silly to me. I was in grade school in the 1960s/early 1970s. We walked to school every day and most of our parents had left the house and gone to work long before we ever headed out. I walked a mile each way (or rode my bike) along a very flat road with a really crappy sidewalk. Have things gotten that bad?
Last night I looked up the crime stats for my town. The last murder to happen here was in 1967. The last rape was in 1994. There were 3 violent crimes last year - all domestic violence assaults. Non-family child abuse cases seem to pop up about once every 6-7 years. The crime of choice in town here sees to be shop-lifting (17 cases last year!) I didn't bother with motor vehicle related offenses.
So what the heck is it that casuses these parents so much concern? Most people in town chose to live here - they weren't raised here. I'd guess that the low crime factor was at least a partial reason for their decision when they were looking for a place to live. Based on the craime factors here, the kids are safer being away from their parents, not with them!
Well, you live in a great town, fishin'.
The crime statistics for my city, San Diego, look quite different, and being so
close to the border increases crime rates. Parents primarily want to protect their children and everyone has different means to do so, and to a greater
extend it is dependent on the city, living conditions and the maturity level of
the child.
Wow.
I've said before that we chose this neighborhood in part because of all the kids we saw walking and biking around... sans adults.
We're too far from the elementary school to walk (at least until we tweak our schedule even further -- we needed every spare minute last year), but we expect sozlet will be walking to school after that (middle school and high school).
I know that back when I was a kid (mid-70's) and I took the bus to the library downtown (Minneapolis) by myself, that was already considered a big deal. My parents got a lot of grief about it, and my friends were shocked, shocked that I was allowed.
I did in fact have a scary experience when I was on my own, downtown, when I was maybe 8 -- I handled it though and came through relatively unscathed (and more confident of my ability to handle scary experiences).
Anyway what I'm leading up to is that there definitely is peer pressure that I have to push back against in terms of what other moms think is and isn't OK. I think that's part of the whole picture. Nobody wants to be considered a bad mom -- and pretty much everyone is willing to render judgment in that department.
I don't think that had the same correlation until recently. If Jimmy was out in the fields by himself and was bitten by a rattlesnake and had to have his leg amputated, that was very sad but it wasn't necessarily his mom's fault -- it was a tragic accident.
Now, it would be the mom's fault.
CalamityJane wrote:Well, you live in a great town, fishin'.
The crime statistics for my city, San Diego, look quite different, and being so
close to the border increases crime rates. Parents primarily want to protect their children and everyone has different means to do so, and to a greater
extend it is dependent on the city, living conditions and the maturity level of
the child.
And the crime rate in San Diego explains the daily morning ritual here how exactly?
I could understand parents being more cautious in a higher-crime area. That would make sense. That doesn't explain parents going overboard with this stuff where crime is pretty much non-existant.
I don't mean that just in terms of wounded pride, or whatever.
I just think it feeds in a different way on naturally-occurring protectiveness.
Then: Jimmy needs to learn how to be independent and grow up big and strong. I'm worried about him but everyone tells me I'm being silly, and bad things hardly ever happen among the people whose lives I'm familiar with, so I need to get over that and let him play in the fields on his own.
Now: I need to protect Jimmy. Everyone else confirms that it's my job to protect him. I'm worried about him and I have good reason to be -- I'm constantly seeing stories about terrible things happening to children. What if I make the wrong decision and something terrible happens to MY child? Best to err on the side of caution. Everyone else is too -- that proves that my concerns are reasonable.
I don't get off on the fear...I have pretty much cut myself off from the news because I can't tell what's true and what's hype anymore. I read most of my news.
We have had our tv off for a little over 4 years now. We had PBS when we lived with hubbys mom.. but that was mostly for background noise and giving Bean something to look at while I cooked when she was around a year old.
It has only been in the last few months, MAYBE an entire year , that I have begun really looking around at 'this world'.
With out the news , repeating every horror story it has over and over again, I dont see the reason behind most of the fear either. And soz worded it best " Now it would be the mom's fault"
I get a lot of crud from the uppity people at Beans day care for the things I allow her to do, say, and be. And it really bothers me. She does nothing excitable.. she cusses sometimes, she is allowed to completely dress herself even if her underware are on sideways. I dont correct it.
If she doesnt want to take a bath for a day.. maybe even two.. I dont care.
Doesnt want to brush her hair that morning? Fine.
At 4, she is now allowed to play downstairs with her friends and I dont have to watch.
I know who lives around here, what they are, if they have convictions and how often they are outside themselves.
If I listened to the news every day, I would be hearing about nothing but loss of jobs, deaths, murder, stealing, and child abuse of some sort. The news covers nothing else. If you repeat that to someone..e very day.. all day. .. nothing but bad news, frustration and fear, that is what they live.
I dont know why my views have drastically changed, but I will attribute it to losing the TV and not paying attention to what the news covers.
We are safe. We are happy , and when it is time, Jillian will walk to school by herself, just like mommy did.
I cried the first day of kindergarten because my mother insisted on walking me to school. (We had practiced all summer and I thought she was demonstrating a terrible lack of faith!)
My sons were fortunate to have other kids on the block with whom to walk. It was considered a right of passage to be considered old enough (5 or 6) and responsible enough to join the gang and not have a parent trailing along behind.
Oh yeah...when I was five I walked to kindergarten and it was a good mile away. Really no problem. It was a lovely little life :wink:
CalamityJane wrote:Of course, coming from someone who has no kids,
it doesn't take a chicken to recognize an egg
My sister and I walked to school together when we were 5 and 6 in Toronto. I think we lived on Jervis - ehBeth - do you know the area? The school was across from the CBC building where they taped Soupy Sales
We would be allowed to be in the audience every so often! lol
Ah, I see it was Jarvis.
