How to tell?

Personally, I think that's the style and I don't object. However, she's living in your home. Just come out and say it in a friendly sort of way.

You want to tell a 22 year old how to dress? Good luck

No way!! Any style is fine.. only the sight of bare back is what is driving us uncomfortable.. as I said I can look the other way.. only if I could train my husband to do it too

Thanks Nick fun.. I am still figuring out the friendly script

Then she wears short shirts? You can always buy her some longer in style shirts.

Hi LoveMyFamily...

If I were you, I wouldn't say anything. She might say (or at the least, think) that it's double standards - because I'm sure you do not find saris objectionable...

If you want to, you could probably say "You know ..we're a little conservative and we'd really appreciate it if you could not wear your low cut jeans...as long as you're here."

Good luck!

Not too short.. but the jeans are way low cut. The back is not concealed when she bends or sits..

Yeah.. I will take her shopping for longer shirts.. but she has dozen of "not so" long shirts.. I can not compete with her entire wardrobe

Thanks for weighing in Sakhi. I was talking about the low back along witht he cleavage. Saree does a good job in concealing it I don't want to comment on the style quotient either. If she were not staying with us and we were not exposed to it so often, I don't think my husband would have minded but..

Then tell him to tell her, I wouldn't.

Depends on how you wear the sari ;-)...

I also think it may be a better idea for your husband yo have a word with her rather than you...because it is actually he who minds the slightly skimpy clothes...

I live in Bangalore...and frankly, a lot of college kids dress up in short shirts and low cut jeans. Butt cleavage is common too.

I too think he should do the talking instead of delegating the task to me. But she opens up more to me. Views me as a friend instead of an aunt. He feels she would not mind me telling her as opposed to him telling her...

Hi,

I think this may be a better conversation between women. I would not expect your husband to talk to her about this at all. Maybe you can talk while he is away over a cup of coffee and just mention that you would prefer if she would dress a little more conservatively while in your home. It is your home and you get to set the rules.

Obviously it's not so much the jeans as the exposes butt cheeks that is the problem, and that's likely how I'd phrase...


...it reminds me of this rather pretty girl at work who was wearing one of these jeans and bent down in front of me to pick up her bag...and displayed a lot of ass...well there were all these people around, and I thought "should I/shouldn't I/should I/shouldn't I?"...of course 'should I' won out and I said "**** I normally only ever see that much arse crack on labourers"

...Not that I'm suggesting you use those exact words!

She IS an adult, so she has the right to pick what she wants to wear.

At 22, that is an important thing to hear and have acknowledged by an older person.

I do not know how I would approach this myself.. I can only imagine how awkward it must feel.

Do you guys share the same religion?
Maybe you could use that for an ice breaker to the conversation and say " Part of ( religion) for me is to keep my body covered. It isnt required I know, but I feel uncomfortable living with someone who does not ' stay covered'.. can we compromise by you wearing _____a longer shirt? a jacket?___?

She is living in your home. You have every right to tell her your husband is uncomfortable with her choice of clothes. Of course, if she chooses not to change, then the only alternative you would have would be to ask her to leave. If you are not willing to go that far, then you have no leverage.

Bottom line, she is a guest in your home and she should follow the rules you set forth or leave. Of course, a compromise such as shewolfn spoke of (wearing longer shirts maybe) would be a good direction to go that would make you and your husband feel more comfortable while giving her an out. I've always been told that the best way to solve a problem is to have both sides believing they have won. :wink:

martybarker, I see your point. Looks like more women natured talk. So I could not tell my husband to talk to her.

Vikorr.. you nailed it right. It is not the low cut that is the problem, it is the cheeks we are exposed to.

Shewolf.. we do share the same religion but I am very evidently not a very religious person. So this may not work with her It is so awkward to even think about talking to her. She is such a sweet person. She is simply adorable but.. the cheeks. Sometimes I just feel I should ask my husband to train himself to look the other way.. it is not worth hurting such a sweet girl.

CoastalRat..I don't know if I will ask her to leave. As I mentioned she is very very sweet. She is a perfect guest. Cleans after herself, helps me around, totally hassle free. I want to tell her at the same time not hurt her.

Then talk to her. Tell her how much you like having her stay with you, and what a wonderful guest she is. THEN bring it up. Tell her you realize her clothing is very stylish and you're being hopelessly old-fashioned, but seeing her backside sticking out of her jeans every time she bends over is extremely embarrassing to you and your husband. (Old Fogies) Then offer to buy her some longer shirts.

If she's as nice as you say, she'll be mortified! No 22-year-old wants to think about her old uncle watching her ass. She'll probably be happy to change what she wears immediately, and no doubt she'll apologize profusely.

I'm the only one who thinks she should be able to wear what she wants?

Sigh.

Get her a house-coat. Some stylish kimono style thing that weighs little, but that is long enough to hit hip length. She can wrap it around her body while at home.

Nope... you're not alone, littlek.

Remember house mate in his underware..



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