We smoked, drank, etc. and look our kids grew up o-k? Right

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I remember hearing my family saying this over and over especially while I was preggers. I thought, well that isn't really true did we really grow up o-k? No we actually are not all o-k. Not that we have any life threatening health issues, but we did not all come out o-k and as great as my family alludes to.

My older brother - still lives at home at well over 40 and is incapable of fully taking care of himself. He finally learned to hold down a job and finally appears to be able to pay his bills (although he doesn't pay room and board). Another brother had medical issues when he was a young boy and had surgery. He is fine now, but still has a minor physical issue as a result. Another brother was never a genius and struggled in school. My parents paid for his first semester at a small community college where he proceeded to fail every class.

My aunt's boys, also well over 40 live with their mother. The oldest has recently seen a small level of success in a small business he started so he is doing the best. His younger brother has some sort of issues going on in his head. My aunt thinks he is just funny and he is fine. However, he is a bit of a looney. He was let go from a job because he was seen wandering the halls and talking to himself and laughing. The other workers were scared of him.

And this is the normal side of my family - don't get me started on the other half

Me, or course, is one of the success stories - I am perfect of course and came out ok. But I think my family is a bit disillusioned if they think that we all came out o-k.

So did you all come out o-k? Or does every family think they are o-k when in reality they are far from it?

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we didn't all come out OK.

1 bother in prison for first deg murder
my youngest brother and I are the most normal. We both live relatively normal lives and have spouses. We have regular jobs, nothing spectacular.

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onyxelle wrote:

we didn't all come out OK.

1 bother in prison for first deg murder
my youngest brother and I are the most normal. We both live relatively normal lives and have spouses. We have regular jobs, nothing spectacular.

does your parents claim you are came out ok?

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Yeah. She does.

But she always follows it with "well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad"

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I also am not blaming my parents or even saying for certainty that smoking, drinking or some other unhealthy habit during pregnancy caused this - but it could have had a contributing factor to any of this.

Whether or not this is the cause - they think everything is hunky dory and they us kids (even though we are adults) are really o-k. In general we are all alive - they make it all seem like its all wonderful.

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My brother and I are fine. Smoking made Mom sick though so she quit. Dad never did. They don't drink either. Mom comes from a sexual abuse situation from alcoholic uncles...his kids - not so good.

But because of that - we are fine. Not brilliant or profoundly interesting or entertaining but fairly smart, normal families and content to be where we are mostly I think.

Hopefully I won't find a way to screw my kids up.

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onyxelle wrote:

Yeah. She does.

But she always follows it with "well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad"

Nice comment.

I can picture my aunt and mom at the dining room table sipping coffee sombreros getting a bit timpsy and saying this. All the while my older brother is getting in some sort of trouble - minor trouble with the police, major trouble with creditors seeking him out, a "friend" trashing his car (the one I gave him because he couldn't afford one), on and on.

And my aunt's son - that is about as loopy as they come - granted he is a sweet guy, just out and out crazy.

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mismi wrote:

My brother and I are fine. Smoking made Mom sick though so she quit. Dad never did. They don't drink either. Mom comes from a sexual abuse situation from alcoholic uncles...his kids - not so good.

But because of that - we are fine. Not brilliant or profoundly interesting or entertaining but fairly smart, normal families and content to be where we are mostly I think.

Hopefully I won't find a way to screw my kids up.

I suppose there are normal boring families like yours, but isn't interesting to be a bit weird - come on you must have some crazy uncle or something.

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when I was in high school I went with a few friends to one of our friends (let's call him James, lol cause that's his name) uncle's house.

The uncle was OBVIOUSLY knockered

He offered us something to eat from the choices that were available- my friend Kenny says "yes, i'll take a hot dog"

the drunk uncle jumps up and says "you won't TAKE sheee-it"

I just hung my head. James was so embarrassed and I was embarrassed for him.

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Linkat wrote:

does your parents claim you are came out ok?

You feeling OK, Link?

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DrewDad wrote:

Linkat wrote:
does your parents claim you are came out ok?

You feeling OK, Link?

As I said, I'm perfect!

I was just thinking about this the other day - and found it amusing - what one thinks is o-k vs some one else.

Granted the grammar ain't the best. I'm finding a way to amuse myself. I do have an odd sense of humor.

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Linkat wrote:

mismi wrote:
My brother and I are fine. Smoking made Mom sick though so she quit. Dad never did. They don't drink either. Mom comes from a sexual abuse situation from alcoholic uncles...his kids - not so good.

But because of that - we are fine. Not brilliant or profoundly interesting or entertaining but fairly smart, normal families and content to be where we are mostly I think.

Hopefully I won't find a way to screw my kids up.

I suppose there are normal boring families like yours, but isn't interesting to be a bit weird - come on you must have some crazy uncle or something.

Well...I was just sharing the immediate family - I have plenty of loopy relatives...keeps me awake at nights sometimes. I have an Uncle who was not quite right...went mad after his wife left him. He use to talk to Jesus while sitting at the local bar. When he was at family gatherings one of my fondest memories was when he would flick his lighter on and tell me Satan was making the flame flicker... Shocked

yikes...back slowly away from the uncle.

My other uncle left my aunt for his wifes best friend, his children's godmother and then after marrying her decided she was not what he thought she was. Sheesh. That's a mess.

My cousin this past Christmas got lit (21 and legal - not very bright though) and put together his best friends little brothers bicycle, then decided to ride it down the driveway into a fairly busy street. Got smacked by a car. Broken pelvis, broken collar bone, cracked vertebrae, broken arm and hospitalized for 2 weeks maybe? Still having trouble with his back.

That's just scratching the surface

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Nice to see we all have this wonderful or colorful family memories.

I was feeling as if you were left out.

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nah...sometimes just avoid talking about it...I realize there is a possibility of it happening to me. It's what keeps me awake some nights - the whole becoming unhinged thing. He used to be quite normal. I think. My grandmother was bi-polar...there are some stories there too...but they are too depressing.

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No, we didn't really all come ok, I agree. My mom's pediatrician told her to take diet pills (then they were basically speed) during her first pregnancy. She did it. My sis has a heart murmur and needs to take antibiotics every time she goes to the dentist. Maybe there's no link, but no one takes diet pills while pregnant anymore. And for 2 or 3 generations (at least!) moms have been advised against nursing for more than a couple months. I think that probably did a fair amount of damage - especially back then when formulas were less fine-tuned.

I wonder what all the mood enhancing drugs are doing to fetuses these days.

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Interesting and timely link - I can't be sure, but it seems more moms are more stressed out now than they were before. More and more are working (and working longer) during pregnancy. A study finds children with asthma were more likely to be born to mothers who were very stressed while pregnant.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7404391.stm

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LOL. i think my mom drank when she was prego with me, honest.

But i definitely caught a lucky day when my grahma had me with a different man than every other of my aunts and uncles.

1 talks to himself (obvious)

1 is crazy

everyone looks like they have mild down syndrome.

they all have weird ego problems. dont think of others.

me all i am is skinny and diabetic most likely but i hate needles so im probablly gonna die. whee.

but yeah, everyone in my family has big mental issues. mood swings etc.
Bad sperm. ouchies.

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and if they aint mental, they are on meth.

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define okay...

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Not perfect is good much better than boring and a little bit OK is better than perfect. Life should be interesting but drinking and smoking during pregnancy and not necessary to produce less than perfect just ok not boring kids.

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We smoked, drank, etc. and look our kids grew up o-k? Right

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