BYOB - Tacky? - Page 3

I didn't consider a keg CJ...that's a great idea!!

And I don't want to be cheap, but also I don't want to break my entire budget on alcohol.

I'd like to have some nice appetizers and what not too.

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If they are friends Bella Dea - they will understand and be happy to BYOB - if you were having a more formal affair it would be less acceptable. I think it is fine.

the keg is a great idea

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It does not make sense to be generous with strangers and cheap with friends.

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Bella Dea wrote:

"BYOB; dinner, snacks, pop, coffee and tea provided.

I think what you said above is totally fine.

I wouldn't expect anyone to feed me, give me a cup of java AND give me alcohol.

You know, after I stopped drinking, I noticed something really, at the time, amazing to me.......the vast majority of people really don't drink that much.

I'd sit in a restaurant and watch as people ate, amazed that they had glasses of soda, tea, water in front of them instead of beer.

I would be astonished that someone who was drinking a beer or glass of wine would pay their bill, get up to go, leaving a third or a half a beer left in the glass!!! Shocked

After all this time, I still don't totally get that, even though I'll often leave half a glass of ice tea (Texas refills your glass free) and think nothing of it.

Don't worry Bella, everyone will have a great time.

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Chumly wrote:

It does not make sense to be generous to strangers and cheaper with friends.

Really Chumly, this is about sharing, love and joy not material crap. Bella is not being cheap. She wants people to join with her in the celebration of her new family and home. People who love her will not care if she serves them bread and water.

Should she not have a party because she can't afford to set up a free bar?

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Chumly wrote:

It does not make sense to be generous with strangers and cheap with friends.

What strangers am i being generous with?

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Chumly wrote:

It does not make sense to be generous with strangers and cheap with friends.

you are right - she wouldn't be doing something formal that she couldn't afford. What if she can only afford tea and water? (I'm not saying that you can't Bella Dea) Should she not have friends over? Hospitality does not require alcohol. She IS having an informal party with close friends...it will be fine. She and her friends will enjoy being together with whatever she can afford to offer.

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I think what you said is perfectly fine.

Your friends are going to understand.
Especially with a new house and baby.

Maybe it's the area I'm from or the type of friends I have, but it's a given that there will be some beer, etc. available at a party, but that it's a good idea to bring your own. (especially if you want something particular)

<Shrugs>
wouldn't bother me.

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Just don't invite Chumly

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Bella if you go with the keg idea Pull the spear early and save some for a recovery session the next day.

Trust me on this, I know a little about keg parties.

http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm104/RCAEABLOCK/Micheles%20old%20photos/AblockcourtyardApr82-DuncanCruicksh.jpg

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I don't think it's tacky either, but I guess it would depend on what's typical among your friends. I've brought a six-pack to many parties, planning to drink one or two and share the rest.

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caribou wrote:

Just don't invite Chumly

In my area, THAT'S a given.

:wink:

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Well, it's customary in my circle to bring a bottle of wine or a case of beer to a party. Common sense tells you that the booze provided by the host may run out. But it's certainly not a requirement or considered BYOB. It's a gift to the host.
Like mac11, I've taken quite a few bottles of beer to a party. And I don't even drink beer.

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Green Witch wrote:

Should she not have a party because she can't afford to set up a free bar?

Well, that's certainly been the reason why I haven't had more parties. I've postponed giving parties and put them off until my finances were stronger, yes.

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If that's the case eoe, we won't be having our family/friends get together in our new home for years.

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Don't invite eoe either, she's going to judge you on your booze supply.

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Green Witch wrote:

Chumly wrote:
It does not make sense to be generous to strangers and cheaper with friends.

Really Chumly, this is about sharing, love and joy not material crap. Bella is not being cheap. She wants people to join with her in the celebration of her new family and home. People who love her will not care if she serves them bread and water.

Should she not have a party because she can't afford to set up a free bar?

OK......if it's presumably nothing to do with "material crap" then you are going to have to explain why a house is not material as it's the basis for the celebration.

My post was in response to mismi's post where it's suggested you should reduce costs with friends and increase costs with strangers. That to me sounds backwards!

Now......can you buy love? Well my dog seems to love me more when I feed her liver Smile

Yep I do think you have a responsibility to your friends that exceeds that of strangers, and yep I do think that affection / satisfaction (if not love) can be a product of the environ.

mismi wrote:

If they are friends Bella Dea - they will understand and be happy to BYOB - if you were having a more formal affair it would be less acceptable. I think it is fine.

the keg is a great idea

I just feel tha

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You do give friends the best you have - What I wrote was if it was a more formal affair it would be less acceptable to ask them to bring their own booze. Or that was what I meant anyway. Friends will understand though.

Did I say anything about strangers?

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Chumly wrote:

OK......if it's presumably nothing to do with "material crap" then you are going to have to explain why a house is not material as it's the basis for the celebration.

We are talking about a home and a baby. I think her family and friends would help her celebrate if she invited them to a cave she fixed up a budget. They will not judge her on how much alcohol she can afford to give them - or wether or not she has a hot tub, or big screen TV or in-ground swimming pool or a leather sofa...

I can't speak for your dog, but I know I love my husband as much when he gives me presents as when he's just nice to me.

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BYOB - Tacky?

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