I just don't wanna

If you block me, I cannot contact you via Facebook, unless I create another account for myself with a different name. I will simply not see you on Facebook. If I search for you - whether by your user name or your email address or in any other way (in your networks, etc.) I will simply not see you.

I had the most stringent security settings that FB allows on my profile - basically, only people who were in my friend network could see me, search for me, etc. No one else would even know that I existed on the FB network. That didn't work very well because I don't want to be completely invisible - I want people to be able to contact me. They can't see any other info, of course, not even who is on my friend network.

Another interesting feature: If you are on my friend list and I decide that I don't want you there anymore, I can simply remove you. Again, you will not get a notification saying that Heatwave has removed you from her friend list. You may notice it yourself eventually, but no notification from FB.

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Cool, thanks for the info, guys. I'm definitely still feeling my way around.

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_Heatwave_ wrote:

You may notice it yourself eventually, but no notification from FB.

or if you're like me you notice immediately that your circle is 1 smaller and you poke around (in one case, I knew one of my colleagues had her daughter delete her (the daughter's) account and was waiting for it to happen).

I've had a number of colleagues comment that they know when someone has blocked them through other friends' pages. I'm not that talented at spotting that sort of thing.

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Gala wrote:

ebeth, if you block someone will they know it? Let's say you block me from contacting you, will it send me a notice saying so?

you won't get a notice - but if the person "disappears" after you send them a friend invite, you can be pretty sure you've been blocked (the joy of very young co-workers - learning some of the social networking tricks)

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Facebook is kind of a mixed bag, isn't it?

My 20-year reunion is coming up, and I've been helping to look up classmates, and I'm finding a bunch of people on Facebook (hadn't bothered to look before). Overall it's been really fun.

Now a classmate who causes a visceral twinge when I see his name just friended me. Same problem as the former client, but worse, since I'll be seeing him in person before long.

I'll go ahead and accept. Maybe he's not as cringe-inducing anymore. (Sigh.)

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sozobe wrote:

Facebook is kind of a mixed bag, isn't it?

My 20-year reunion is coming up, and I've been helping to look up classmates, and I'm finding a bunch of people on Facebook (hadn't bothered to look before). Overall it's been really fun.

Now a classmate who causes a visceral twinge when I see his name just friended me. Same problem as the former client, but worse, since I'll be seeing him in person before long.

I'll go ahead and accept. Maybe he's not as cringe-inducing anymore. (Sigh.)

sozobe, maybe you'll to post a thread about your reunion experiences?

Wait, what do you mean by visceral twinge? That sounds like you had a thing for him. Then you say cringe, which means he's creepy.

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Maybe I should've said "cringe" first.

I mean like an instinctive "ew."

I've known him since we were both in first grade, it's a more fundamental "ew" than anything romantic or whatever. (For example, our classroom had pillows in it and there was one that was known as his "fart pillow," because he'd fetch it and sit on it if he had to fart, in an attempt to stifle said fart. That kind of thing, but a lot more than that.)

Sure, will be happy to share the 20th-reunion experience when it happens. I went to the 10-year, enjoyed it way more than I expected it to.

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sozobe wrote:

Hey Gala, mind if I piggyback?

Maybe I should start a new thread...

Anyone here on Facebook?

I started an account when a friend invited me, haven't spent a lot of time on it. Far-flung people have been discovering me, it's weird but mostly cool so far. One of my former staff members (again) contacted me -- she's someone I was especially close to and we've been in touch sporadically since I left, (as opposed to email guy above), so I went ahead and accepted her request and chatted with her a bit.

Well, now one of my former *clients* has sent a friend request. She was a handful, not someone I'm particularly interested in renewing contact with. But I'm not sure of Facebook etiquette -- is it terribly rude to refuse a request? Just not worth it?

I doubt etiquette is the most important thing here.....I'd stay right away.

But...isn't it fascinating how new technologies create new social dilemmas?

Here we are in the early 21st century, with so many of our moral choices no different from Emma debating how she shall respond to Miss Bates.

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sozobe wrote:

Maybe I should've said "cringe" first.

I mean like an instinctive "ew."

I've known him since we were both in first grade, it's a more fundamental "ew" than anything romantic or whatever. (For example, our classroom had pillows in it and there was one that was known as his "fart pillow," because he'd fetch it and sit on it if he had to fart, in an attempt to stifle said fart. That kind of thing, but a lot more than that.)

Sure, will be happy to share the 20th-reunion experience when it happens. I went to the 10-year, enjoyed it way more than I expected it to.

Really? Wow. A fart pillow in first grade? How humiliating. And he wants to attend the reunion? I give him a lot of credit.

I want to know he's doing now.

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dlowan wrote:

I doubt etiquette is the most important thing here.....I'd stay right away.

But...isn't it fascinating how new technologies create new social dilemmas?

Here we are in the early 21st century, with so many of our moral choices no different from Emma debating how she shall respond to Miss Bates.

You're so right.

I've always had a difficult time reading Victorian Literature because it reminds me too much of office/work politics.

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Gala wrote:

dlowan wrote:
I doubt etiquette is the most important thing here.....I'd stay right away.

But...isn't it fascinating how new technologies create new social dilemmas?

Here we are in the early 21st century, with so many of our moral choices no different from Emma debating how she shall respond to Miss Bates.

You're so right.

I've always had a difficult time reading Victorian Literature because it reminds me too much of office/work politics.

Jane is Regency.....and that trueness to life is why I love it!!!!!! It is still so valid, and we still live, for the most part, in social minutiae. Hers is a cooler world than that of the Victorians....

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i just decline people i don't want on my FB. I don't have any visceral cringes from the past, but random strangers pass by demanding to be befriended. those are easy to decline though.

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From my minimal experience I have with social networks, it seems a little like a competition to have as many "friends" as possible. When the random and unknown person wants to put you on their list, I find that to be ridiculous.

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dlowan wrote:

Jane is Regency.....and that trueness to life is why I love it!!!!!! It is still so valid, and we still live, for the most part, in social minutiae. Hers is a cooler world than that of the Victorians....

okay, so be patient here. what's regency? i thought she was victorian. i thoroughly understand the social minutae...

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Gala wrote:

dlowan wrote:
Jane is Regency.....and that trueness to life is why I love it!!!!!! It is still so valid, and we still live, for the most part, in social minutiae. Hers is a cooler world than that of the Victorians....

okay, so be patient here. what's regency? i thought she was victorian. i thoroughly understand the social minutae...

Do you really wanna know?

Jane Austen lived between 1775 and 1817.

Here's Wikipedia on the Regency period:

The Regency period in the United Kingdom is the period between 1811 and 1820, when King George III was deemed unfit to rule and his son, later George IV, was instated to be his proxy as Prince Regent. The term is often expanded to apply to the years between 1795 and 1837, a time characterised by distinctive fashions, politics and culture. In this sense, it can be considered to be a transitional period between "Georgian" and "Victorian" eras. The era was distinctive for its architecture, literature, fashions, politics, and snuffboxes. It was a period of excess for the aristocracy: for example, it was during this time that the Prince Regent built the Brighton Pavilion. However, it was also an era of uncertainty caused by, among other things, the Napoleonic wars, periodic riots, and the concern — threat to some, hope to others — that the British people might imitate the upheavals of the French Revolution.

Queen Victoria lived between 24 May 1819 – 22 January 1901...but reigned between 1837 and 1901.

Obviously, literarature and the general cultural milieu do not change neatly to fit these periods....however, Victorian culture would largely be seen as more romantic, moralistic, sentimental and sort of mawkish, as opposed to the more cool and rational literature of Austen's day.....the clearest contrast might be Dickens vs Austen.

Charlotte Bronte, for instance, who is closer to a Victorian than a Regency author, considered Jane sadly morally deficient, because of her cool and ironic tone, and her calm acceptance of such things as "natural children" etc.

Victoria set a tone of rigidly moral behaviour and a family values court (though a passionate and strong woman), as opposed to "Prinny's" known light behaviour.

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Gala wrote:

Really? Wow. A fart pillow in first grade? How humiliating. And he wants to attend the reunion? I give him a lot of credit.

In fourth grade, actually. And fifth. And sixth.

Yeah, should give him credit.

Quote:

I want to know he's doing now.

He's a lawyer.

:-D

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Gala wrote:

From my minimal experience I have with social networks, it seems a little like a competition to have as many "friends" as possible. When the random and unknown person wants to put you on their list, I find that to be ridiculous.

i know, right? what would they get out of it?

although, i have to say, about a year ago i added this slovak american who i did not know whatsoever, but who seemed legit and interesting. we totally hit it off, met a few times and are good real friends now. you never know, i guess.

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Having stayed clear of social networking sites, I'm reading along with interest.

Gala wrote:

From my minimal experience I have with social networks, it seems a little like a competition to have as many "friends" as possible. When the random and unknown person wants to put you on their list, I find that to be ridiculous.

Or maybe it makes people uncomfortable to make "I want to be your friend" an explicit verbal declaration, demanding a "yes" or "no" answer that has explicit consequences for the answerer. Here on A2K, and earlier on Abuzz, I have met quite a lot of people I now consider my friends. I'm pretty sure they know who they are, but formal declarations to this effect have rare. Even now I'd feel sheepish to go to oBne of my A2K friends' myspace page and say (by mouseclick I suppose) "I want to be your friend". I feel more comfortable keeping it implicit.

The obvious alternative is to not take myspace's friend process seriously, just ask anyone, and just accept everyone who asks. That's nice, non-committal, and doesn't rock anyone's boat.

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well, not really, thomas..cause if you add spammers who post one gazillion things a day, it will provide for muddy waters to navigate for you (all the news feed junk) and result in many unwanted emails in your regular mailbox.

result, much annoyance.

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I see. So this wholesale friending of normal people really doesn't make any sense, does it?

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I just don't wanna

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