Living with idiots....

Well, kitkat may be a complete figment but I really don't think so. And, anyway, I'm more interested in conversations.

I'm quite real, I assure you Though it may not seem like it sometimes. And I think the "drama" aspect of my life has pretty much been analyzed inside and out by now by more than just one person on A2K; I think it has been nailed on the head...and at some points it seems like kicking a dead horse. Not everyone is in a position where they both love what they do and the environment they work in. In my case, I am surrounded by drama both in my personal and professional life because I work in a dramatic industry. I love what I do, but I don't necesarily love the dramatic environment I find myself in when I am doing what it is I love to do. So of course, to everyone else, it seems like I am attracted to drama.

It's rather unfortunate when you think about it, I really can't seem to find where I belong in life. Every life I try to live ends up with me trying to escape from it but feeling trapped or obligated. I lived with my parents until the bitter end when I just couldn't take living there anymore. I moved out, got married, thought I was happy....and then spent two years trying to get out of an abusive marriage to my abusive husband. I finally leave him after three years of marriage and move back home to where I think I am safe again...and now it is even worse here than it was before. I am a servant here trapped by my sick mother and controlling father who makes me do whatever he wants to and uses my dying mother against me. I feel like I can never just catch a break. I feel like I am always trapped wherever I go.

I understand that life is difficult, unjust, and unfair, but does it ever get easier?

Seriously?

No.

Life is what you make it.

You want drama, attention and strife, that's what you'll have.

If you really understood that life is hard, unfair and all that, you wouldn't be asking strangers if it's going to get any better.



You say you come here for answers, but you just want to listen to the answers you want to hear.

Ok, here your answer:

Yes kitkat, life will get better, and it will be fair and everything will be fine.


Now, how is anyone supposed to know that?

Go make your own life better, no one can do it for you, or make it so by saying words.

Venting is fine, when you know when to stop.

It might be that on some level you want to be taken advantage of/abused, and that you thus invite people to treat you that way. You might be a masochist. People who are are not bad, but they need to know who they are and need to get what they crave by way of consensual relationships.

If you are not one then you will need to figure out how you keep getting yourself into situations were you don't belong.

Kitkat - these are all choices you've made, so you are actually the creator of your own misery. You say you're trapped looking after your sick mother, but of course you're not. You've told yourself this is the right thing to do and you've chosen to do what you're doing. You've trapped yourself.

You didn't have to move home. You don't have to do anything. You CHOOSE to. So... we say you like drama because you're creating it and allowing it every day yourself.

You can get off the merry-go-round any time you want. Sure there'll be some fallout - there almost always is, but the choice to stay or go is only yours.