Pair-bonding. Meaningful sex with another person makes your relationship stronger and...stuff. Sex with someone on the spur of the moment tends to be based on reproductive issues. Eg you want the bad boy genes of some random guy who will **** you and leave you..
I can't go without sex for longer than a couple of days...I get cranky. If it's there I'd rather take it than refuse it. (With my BF)
Ahhhh, to be young again
A baby will die without touch, attention and cooing. Sex is an adult form of touch ~ so please go in and touch your mate :wink:
Hey, re nuns and priests with no sex.
Tap tap tap.
Flagellation is a form of sex. Hairshirts may be nifty. Sex has many forms, including celibacy, including "ecstasy". Including probably near endless priestly and nunnily sinners.
(There but for the grace go I...)
Setanta, thanks for the link. I read Thurber at some length years ago, and some E. B. White (also his wife), but not recently.
BillW wrote:Sex is an adult form of touch ~ so please go in and touch your mate :wink:
i don't have a mate, can i just touch myself
Certainly, but please don't share!
"hear, all ye good people, hear what this brilliant and eloquent speaker has to say!"
Depends. Some people literally have no sex drive, but this is usually due to some kind of disorder whether mental or pyshiological in nature.
Generally, "healthy" people desire sex, whether for physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, or both. In the same way most people have friends, go out , basically, do not sit in the their homes 24.7, they need contact with other people to be really happy, and sex is another deeper, different form of human contact. Surely reproduction is an innane contributor quite often to the desire, but not the only one.
When I am in a relationship, or dating someone, that is readily available, hell, I want it every day pretty much, even if Im tired, I'll have a lazy 5 minute quickie before bed. It makes me sleep better!
But, I've gone up to 6 months without it, because I wasn't seeing anyone I particularly cared for. But I gotta tell you, just cause I can deal without sex without spontaneously combusting, doesn't mean I liked it! I think about it all the time! I'm a woman, so I'm not sure how often the studies say we think about sex, but with me it's quite often. And I admit my drive is possibly higher than your average chick....but my point is, when people are those types that don't crave sex, or want it , usually it's due to someone or something else....either they have mental issues about it, or they were abused at some point, or they physically have problems with it.
To make an ending to a lonnnng ass posting, no, I do not think a healthy relationship can survive, happily, without sex. I see far too many "happy" couples that are married and secretly one is not happy because they just aren't getting the physical and emotional affection they crave that, frankly, sex can provide! And hell, when done correctly, it's just plain fun! (not to mention a good workout. And yes, it can be done incorrectly. Horrid sex is just pointless, I'd rather watch TV than have bad sex)
ta ta
PS- as I sit here typing this my neighbors have finished yelling at each other and are now having massively loud sex. See, it's a good ender to arguments too!
I have given this question serious consideration ... & have come to the conclusion that
after one's stomach is full & looks like being full tomorrow & the days after that ... &
after one has shelter & personal safety, that sex with another person (especially if one likes & respects them!) could be a nice little bonus!
LostGirl811 wrote:To make an ending to a lonnnng ass posting, no, I do not think a healthy relationship can survive, happily, without sex. I see far too many "happy" couples that are married and secretly one is not happy because they just aren't getting the physical and emotional affection they crave that, frankly, sex can provide!
In my experience most are not "secretly unhappy", they are in a partial shut down mode, telling themselves that they are happy but really feeling not much of anything. I have had too many no sex people tell me with complete conviction that they are happy, that they don't need sex. They really believe it. Almost always these people have no passion for anything, they can't allow themselves to go to that emotional level because then they would have to confront what they are avoiding.
I do see a lot of people who lie to their spouse about being unhappy, they are keeping the secret from that one person, but this seem to me to be a whole other thing.
hawkeye10 wrote:LostGirl811 wrote:To make an ending to a lonnnng ass posting, no, I do not think a healthy relationship can survive, happily, without sex. I see far too many "happy" couples that are married and secretly one is not happy because they just aren't getting the physical and emotional affection they crave that, frankly, sex can provide!
In my experience most are not "secretly unhappy", they are in a partial shut down mode, telling themselves that they are happy but really feeling not much of anything. I have had too many no sex people tell me with complete conviction that they are happy, that they don't need sex. They really believe it. Almost always these people have no passion for anything, they can't allow themselves to go to that emotional level because then they would have to confront what they are avoiding.
I do see a lot of people who lie to their spouse about being unhappy, they are keeping the secret from that one person, but this seem to me to be a whole other thing.
I agree wth you hawkeye, but basically it's the same thing I said, except in your example the people are in denial rather than just "lying" about being happy. Either way they are not really happy, they just are either being honest with only themselves, or they aren't being honest with anyone about it. Some people don't want to handle the thought of cheating, so they convince themselves it's normal for a happily married couple to have sex once every six months. or less. or not at all.
Hell, I had an affair with a married man, and we were friends beforehand, and he used to try to tell me it was a "normal married thing" to get laid every two months if you were lucky. Bull. Big time.
LostGirl811 wrote:
I agree wth you hawkeye, but basically it's the same thing I said, except in your example the people are in denial rather than just "lying" about being happy. Either way they are not really happy, they just are either being honest with only themselves, or they aren't being honest with anyone about it. Some people don't want to handle the thought of cheating, so they convince themselves it's normal for a happily married couple to have sex once every six months. or less. or not at all.
Hell, I had an affair with a married man, and we were friends beforehand, and he used to try to tell me it was a "normal married thing" to get laid every two months if you were lucky. Bull. Big time.
The difference is face yourself/avoid yourself and know yourself/not know yourself, which to my mind is huge. Yep, people rationalize into some very nutty beliefs, I've noticed that as you have. Along with that people tend to remember events as they need them to be, not as they actually were, which gets to be fun.
To have a happy marriage sex is necessary . The only way it wouldn't be necessary is if neither one had a desire for sex. I find that hard to believe.
Chai wrote:Setanta wrote:Classic ex cathedra bullshit . . .
That's why all those nuns and priests are all backed up.
I'm telling ya, head for the hills once that damn breaks.
Poop again? Really Chai.....
lol
