Heart problems

I suppose fibbing or being quiet to the cardiologist will be somehow good for him?

Your husband may have problems "being told what to do", especially from someone close at hand or an authority figure. This is too bad.

Might be nice if he could learn on his own by some online research the relationship between what you eat and and your amount of plaque deposit. Nutrition questions can be complex, relative to what study is most current, what advice is wisest at any given time. Still, the cardiologist would presumably up to date on nutrition issues.

Not all healthy eating is un-delicious. But people get into cycles of being "happiest" with salty meat flavored grease and sweet simple carbohydrates. One can pull out of that cycle - if I did, anyone can. But, you have to want to first. And pulling out of the cycle doesn't have to mean no meat ever.

Exercise is good for general health too, of course, but before he starts on any regimen he should speak with the dreaded cardiologist.

Knowledge is power, to some extent anyway. I've no suggestions on how to get him to want to modify his diet, to become more positive re learning about food and health. Maybe someone else here will have.


Hmmm, does he have any buddies with heart problems who have at least somewhat changed their ways?

What does he like? Not just meat, I mean -- sweet, sour, salty, bitter? That kind of thing.

Let's say he likes sour flavors. Citrus fruits are in season right now and provide Vitamin C and a decent amount of fiber. Bitter flavors? Lots of stuff fits this category, like argula, but also broccoli can be bitter at times. Salty? Well, if salt is the medium, it can go on things that are better for him just as readily as it goes on things that aren't so good for him. While he should probably be watching his salt, as you are aware, salt on a baked potato is a far cry from salt on french fries. Sweets, of course, can be subbed with fruits, carrots, that sort of stuff.

As for "meaty" taste, that's actually got its own category. It's called umami, and it's kind of a richness flavor. I'm not sure how else to describe it. It's not just in meat, but is also in mushrooms, for example.

Another idea is introducing a new food every week. Any kind. Asparagus. Dover sole. Anything. His part of the bargain is to try it, give it a chance and be constructive about what he doesn't like about it (if anything). E. g. none of this "I hate it!" BS or "I hated it when I was a kid and I'm still gonna hate it!" He's not a kid anymore and his tastes may have changed. And as for "I hate it!", well, why? Too hot? Too cold? Too raw? Too overcooked? Too moist? Too dry? Too spicy? Too bland? Too what?

Another idea is to ask about the foods he does like. What does he like about them? Can he handle different means of preparation? Which methods does he prefer? E. g. with a sauce, barbecued, grilled, well-done, etc. By working on this angle and the one in the previous paragraph, you might be able to craft better meals for him.

And -- also important -- invest him in this endeavor. If necessary, get the cardiologist to be the bad guy but someone needs to tell your husband (and I apologize for the bluntness of this statement), but if he doesn't change his habits soon, a stent is not going to be enough to get him back on track. He could develop angina. He could have a heart attack. He could have a stroke. HE COULD DIE.

I know that's not a fun thing to think about or fun things to consider but being a cardiac cripple is not a happy sight. Or a stroke victim. Or a victim of angina. He has the means to improve his health and put that day off, or maybe even assure that it never happens, but HE HAS TO BE INVESTED IN HIS OWN SURVIVAL.

I don't know how to make it any clearer and God knows I'm not yelling at you, but he's got to step up and be an adult about this and realize that a french fry is not worth his life.

Hang in there, jodie.

Yes to Jespah.

On carrots, I always hated cooked carrots and have gradually allowed them into my universe. Still, I enjoy raw carrots.

I happen to roll my eyes at those packaged pinky finger carrots, but to each his or her own. I buy the cheapo carrots in bunches and peel and slice. Stick some in ice water in the fridge.

My latest is to stick some in the juice that is leftover in Mezzetti marinated olive jars after you've picked out the olives, especially the ones for a zillion bucks with Napa Valley wine mentioned in the ingredients. Next I'll work out my own way of doing that without buying expensive olives....
but in the meantime, those carrots I've done that with are terrific, still crisp but tangy.
Note, I can't speak to the hygiene issue.. I do try to be careful.

Jodie, I cook for an older guy and give him meals once a week to take home and use.

He had different issues, (he does not cook, and lives alone) but he and I have worked within his restrictions and preferences to balance his meals.

We still "cheat" a bit (he is also diabetic, so not much) but he is amazing his doctors, and eating things he likes all the more.

Your situation is different and more difficult.

He has to want to change. I see it in a somewhat sad light....

It seems to me that your guy has said in his own mind, Torpedoes be damned, full speed ahead. (I hope not)

RH

Agreeing with you, Rockhead, and I've no idea how to help someone to want to change, especially me with my non interest in manipulation.

Of course, a common other side of this is diet fanaticism... or other kinds of fanatacism, as some sort of pearl..






Thinking to when I've changed in my life.. has been when people I respect make off the cuff remarks that set me to thinking. Probably never by lectures.

My husband is a heart patient also.

I'm not going to address so much what your husband is chosing to eat, but of YOUR relationship with his cardiologist and your husbands feelings on what that relationship should be.

Care of any disease involves a team approach, and you are part of that team.

Regardless of whether your husband takes his cardiologists advice, he has no business telling you not to speak to this professional, or, if you do speak to him, lie, or leave out the whole truth.

There are very good drugs out there for cholesterol control, as well as medications that will make his heart stronger.

I'm not saying to go out of your way to antagonize your husband, but it is your duty to speak frankly with his cardiologist.

There are times I have gone on visits to the cardiologist with my husband, because I had specific questions, and did not want to get the answer 2nd hand. At other times, when he went by himself, but he was going to get results of a test, he would call me on his cell, hand the phone to the doctor and the physician would tell us both at the same time what was going on.

I don't know anything about your relationship with your husband, but this is not the time to be cowed by him into silence.

His relationship with his doctor is his relationship, but your relationship with the doctor, regarding your husband is your own.

Don't beat around the bush, ask about drugs and other treatments. His doctor is not a mind reader.

I suggest you and your husband read "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon and "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan to get a new perspective on good fats and bad fats. You can start by switching your husband to free range eggs with Omega 3 and grass feed beef. You husband doesn't have to give up all the foods he loves, but he will have to make adjustments. The most important thing to get rid of is processed fat, ie: partially hydrogenated oils. Of course, if he choses not to change there is little you can do. Some people just like their french fries better than their health and family.

My wifes husband is a heart patient and he has some weird dietary demands also. Fortunately, hes told me that since he wants to live to break social security, he does all things in moderation, including moderation.
The key is exercise, or so Ive been told. He walks at least 2 miles per day in as rough a terrain as he can stand. LAst week it was in thick mud with occasional forays into ankle deep deposits. Thats like carrying weights on your feet. Exercise with no map goal is like eating a hoagie and spitting it out. He likes to see stuff and treadmills and stepclimbers are boring, ya might as well just get a case of the Jimmy Leg.


I repeat, the most numerous items that are seen in neighborhood yard sales in the summer, are exercise contraptions. Anything that has a built in boredom factor, might just as well be used for launching crabapples.


Healthy food, all recent studies have shown that losing weight by heart patients whove actually gained weight, isnt necessarily good for you, so if youre portly and have a good BP and can build up your stamina, screw the tofu and twigs. Et and enjoy, whats the joy in longevity as a Trappist monk?


My wifes husband has also found that developing as many interests as he can nurture, makes for an active and plaque free mind.

Your wife is cool, Farmer, and say hello from me if you can ever do that without being obnoxious.

Re: Heart problems


Jodie. My only thought is to have a sincere talk with him about how much you love him, and about how you and anyone else whom loves him would be deeply hurt to lose him.
I would probably not be motivated much by my own desire to survive if I were in your husbands position.
The thought of the emotional pain that my family would go through upon losing me is perhaps the only thing that keeps me from doing dangerous things (e.g. driving above 70mph [112kmph]).

Remind him that it's not just his life that's on the line.
When he let someone love him it became their's as well.

I feel for you Jodie as I have tried to get my father to make himself healthy. He seems to hold onto his cigarettes and his steaks the way a child holds on to his blankie. He feels that he needs them I think.

Perhaps your husband feels a need to eat what he wants. For a sense of power/control or freedom/escape. I once heard a doctor say that when someone quits doing one thing they need to replace it with something new. Maybe he needs to be allowed to make his own new diet on his own accord. To be allowed to make it the way he wants it to be so that he will still feel that sense of control over his life while he is on the new diet.

Good luck Jodie.

Farmers wife's husband is cool also.

Jodie--

You've got some good advice here. Unfortunately, you are a wife, not a mother. You cannot control the diet of a grown man--unless he's bed-ridden and then he can still spit out what he doesn't want.

The guilt is not yours--neither is the responsibility.

I feed Mr. Noddy chicken, turkey and fish with occasional meals of red meat. (On those occasional red meat days, the Family Dog gets terribly excited--she rates red meat way, way, above chicken, turkey and fish).

I'm lucky. Mr. Noddy will eat chicken, turkey and fish. He will also eat potato chips, processed popcorn and all manner of junk food. Here (as on Red Meat Days) I try to control the portions. Potato chips are not a healthy food, but a premeasured portion of 15-20 chips (150 to 200) calories is better than a giant economy bag of chips.

Can you substitute ground turkey for hamburger in chili, spaghetti sauce, meat loaf, sloppy joes....?

When you cook red meat can you blot up as much fat as possible?

Watching the man you love turn into a sullen, boshy teenager ("It's my life and I'll eat what I want to.") can be heartbreaking.

Do your best, but if he wants to dig his grave with his teeth, he's going to dig his grave with his teeth.

Good luck.

Jodie- I think that you have gotten some wonderful advice. There ARE things that you can do to introduce healthier foods into your husband's diet. Bottom line though, the worst thing for a heart patient is stress. Needling, cajoling and nagging may make you feel noble, but ultimately, will not be good for him.

He is a grown man. You can suggest, but it is not wise to keep after him about his diet. You CAN control, to a certain extent, some of the things that you prepare in your house.

Thanks everyone ! I really appreciate you trying to help me with this situation . The bottom line is my husband has got to want to make a change himself. He is not the type that wants to be told what to do. He is very stubborn. I have made foods and he would say to me I don't know why your are making that because I am not going to eat it. He is a very picky eater to begin with and will not try something if he thinks he would not like it. Vegetables, he will only eat green beans, corn, peas, lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers. I do not like to cook for this reason. I get very discouraged at times. Sometimes I feel very stressed.
We had a talk last night and I told him that i love him and would like for us to grow old together. I think this comment really got to him but how much of a change it will make I don't know, time will tell.

If hes on any meds that control clotting (aspirin, rat poison) he should watch intakes of stuff like spinach or dark greens, cranberry juice, dark chocoltes , and a few others.

EXERCISE, exercise , exercise. He shouldnt be a couch tater.

farmerman

Sorry to say but he really is a couch potato. The cardiologist also told him that he wasn't exercising enough. He could sit for hours but I am a totally different person which means I am always busy whether it comes to cleaning , on the go,really I should probably sit more.

Nothing beats walking .. Start im at about a half hour a day and let him use it as an opportunity to go exploring (men are just big kids) I am always poking around fields and swamps looking for wild stuff .

Re: Heart problems


Have you asked your husband what his plans for the future are? Does he have plans for the future?

I wonder if he needs to be engaged in having a future.

Some patients need counselling to help them with the adjustment to the new life they're going to need to lead if they want to survive. A friend of mine is a grief and loss counsellor who specializes in patients with difficult medical diagnoses - helping them with the loss of 'doing what they want when they want', and working their way toward accepting their new futures.

Jodie--

You might invite an insurance salesman over to discuss your husband's life insurance coverage.

I've heard this works with some stubborn men.