Toxic friendships

hung up....

how good does that feel. Laughing

keep smiling.

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It's not like that Izzie. We're working on several projects right now, discussing business, and my only challenge is keeping her focused on the project at hand and not drift off into a twenty minute monologue on how the VP of Marketing, busy all day with a variety of responsibilities is completely consumed with making HER life miserable and how he and all of the account managers spend the entire workday thinking about HER and ways to thwart HER and destroy HER because it's all about HER HER HER.

She is one hot mess. Rolling Eyes

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Good luck with that eoe - hope you can get her to focus.

shewolfnm - how you doing?

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eoe wrote:

Yes. I have bitched about Miss Thing in the past.
Guess what? I'm on the phone, on hold with her at this very moment...

that made me laugh out loud.

I was just waiting on the messenger for my 'miss thang' to return so we could finish our unbalanced conversation.

I gave up.

We don't talk much at all anymore so it wont be that hard to just not put forth the effort.

I'm just gonna miss my bitchy old gal..

I think I want to go see her one more time. I will be going to the Albq gathering and she lives in Rio Rancho ( not but 30 minutes away at best )
I gotta hug her at least once. See her at least once.
Then I think I will make the silent vow to not feed the relationship anymore. We are miles apart so it shouldnt be too hard..

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eoe wrote:

It's not like that Izzie. We're working on several projects right now, discussing business, and my only challenge is keeping her focused on the project at hand and not drift off into a twenty minute monologue on how the VP of Marketing, busy all day with a variety of responsibilities is completely consumed with making HER life miserable and how he and all of the account managers spend the entire workday thinking about HER and ways to thwart HER and destroy HER because it's all about HER HER HER.

She is one hot mess.

jesus h christ..

are we sure we are not talking about the same woman?!

When my Mrs Thang and I would hang out, our circle of friends ended up ( supposedly ) doing the same things to her.
They would make a decision about something.. no matter what it was.. I got to hear the half hour speech later on about how that decision was all about her.

When we as a group ( 25 of us or more..) would go to a bar , and someone ELSE would sit in the seat she usually sat in, her words.. and I QUOTE

Quote:

They just want to be me. They see me sitting in a power seat and they want to be just like me and they dont even know it. So they mimic things I do.

That made me fall off my chair more then once.

Everything, everyone, everywhere did was all about her. All the time.

Tiring..

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shewolfnm wrote:

When we as a group ( 25 of us or more..) would go to a bar , and someone ELSE would sit in the seat she usually sat in, her words.. and I QUOTE

Quote:
They just want to be me. They see me sitting in a power seat and they want to be just like me and they dont even know it. So they mimic things I do.

WHOA!!! That's my Miss Thing too! Laughing

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Maybe they were twins in a past life..

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I feel sorry for the world Laughing

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Shewolf, is she worth talking to this about? Could you not explain how you feel and ask for feedback? In a positive way, of course.

Like:

~~~

"Brenda, I was wondering if something's bothering you. I have noticed a lot lately that you seem to be negative about (blah blah) and your (lovely qualities) don't seem to be in evidence much when we chat. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help? No? Well, Brenda, I would just prefer it if you called me when you're in a happy mood, ok? I like you best when we laugh, listen, share... (etc etc etc). "

~~~

Or if she phones you or you call her and you notice she's in a crabby negative mood, you can say:

~~~

"Oh, you're having a bad day. This is obviously not a good time to chat. Why don't you call me when you're feeling better?"

~~~~

Shewolf, would something like that work?

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Yes and no.

is she worth it?

To me yes.

Can I bring this up to her?
Maybe.

My issue with trying to bring this up to her is that I will have to listen to her twist it around to bring her out all rosy.

rosy.. she isn't.

But that is the problem.
She twists everything no matter how far fetched and she really believes it.
Everything and everyone is about her.

I think it is just part of WHO she is. I do not think I can change her as a person nor am I being a good friend if I require that to keep the friendship...

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No, you shouldn't need her to change, but you certainly have the right to expect decent behaviour from a friend. Otherwise, where's the friendship?

I don't know, girl. If you can't find some way of telling her what's bothering you, then I guess you have two options:

1. Keep your friendship and continue to avoid her.

2. End the friendship.

There aren't too many options here.

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As i wrote out earlier, I think I have come to the conclusion to just end the relationship.

I am heading to Albq in a few months, I will take some time to actually see her then.
I have not seen her for over 3 years.
I would love to hug her again.. have a few drinks with her and just ' be us'

All her **** in cluded.

Then after that I will just stop making an effort to contact her.
That will be enough to kill it. Easily.

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Sorry to make you repeat yourself - I'm not uptodate.

I've been learning about the body, injury management, etc. I'm stressing about all this stuff. My written is on Friday and the practical is on Sunday. Keep your fingers crossed.

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You will do fine Wink

How much ya wanna bet??

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Wishing you well on the test, Mame.

On the friendship, I've had a few of those. Hmm, what is it about me? Well, they're pretty far apart in time, and I've had other good long time friends.

I'm presently in a several year silence pattern with one friend. We're pretty sick of each other. I still think of her as a friend, in that I still care how she is, and assume the same back, at least on a good day - but by mutual behavior, no contact. We're clearly comfortable with that. It's not really a big deal, just the way things have settled. No hate, no sturm & drang, a kind of let it go peace.

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And I think her and I can get away with just what you describe.

Especially considering that most contact is initiated by me.

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shewolfnm wrote:

You will do fine

How much ya wanna bet??

I'm not a betting woman, shewolf - I think I know enough to pass okay but it's the old practical that's giving me the jitters... all this critical intervention stuff for airway management, distressed breathing, congestive heart failure, decreased level of consciousness... blah!

anyway, will let you know.

And thanks, Osso... I can certainly use all the well wishes. The exam starts at 8:00 a.m.!! good grief.

Re the friend, shewolf - if osso's scenario works for you, go for it. I understand you love her, have history, and don't want to lose her, so it makes sense. Personally, I'd be saying something if it (the friendship) mattered, but it could and would take me a while (I'm a real chicken!). And I've been known to do nothing and let things lie and/or die, so... I hope it works out whatever you do. You're a good person.

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Best of luck to both Shewolf and Mame.

You go girls! :-D

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shewolfnm wrote:

Im coming to a point where I can no longer call a friend of mine a TRUE friend.

Is this the friend who bought the rack of under the muscle B's last year?

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Hey Mame, when is the day of your big test? Maybe we can get Noddy to send out vibes for a howling the night before to usher in your success.

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Toxic friendships

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