Just another case of "tell me what I want to hear".
You've made up your mind. You've said it clearly that you refused lunch with your sister after she extended the invitation. That would say to me that you don't want to mend the fences.
Don't be suprised if she doesn't do it again.
Choice:
Try to mend the family fabric.
Or
Decide that mending the family fabric is impossible and forget about it.
You seem to want us to approve of your decision to continue the rift.
Noddy,
No I am not looking for anyone to agree with me not wanting to mend the fences with my sister. We have had other problems and I have told her we have to work at this relationship and she could never admit to being wrong about anything so if she feels that she is never wrong she isn't the one that has the problem and doesn't feel she needs to work at it.
I did get in touch with my sister today and told her that life is too short
and we need to try to work things out. I do not plan on calling her children because I have done nothing to them. The problem should have been between my sister and i.
I agree you could better talk with your sister, though I think you also have relationships to save or not with her children.
I think that most of us have picked up your anger, and anger past the first angry situation. You sister asked you for lunch and you said no. Who of us would call again if we were the sister?
If you do talk with her, I hope you let some of the belligerence (reasonable or not) go, and just talk.
You may be totally right that your sister is a major controller, but, hey, she reached out. You don't seem ready to listen or communicate and that shows. So you have a part in what you are complaining about.
Think for a bit as if you were her... would you call you?
Jodie--
Good for you. Perhaps things will work out, perhaps not. Either way, you know you took the high ground and tried to end the feud.
Bella Dea
It is not another case of "Tell me what I want to hear."
I have called my sister and told her that life is short and we should try and work things out. I guess this relationship is discsouraging to me because she will not take the blame for anything . In the past she has always been the victim. If I just leave it in God's hands anything is possible. My sister said she has never done anything to anyone.
I do think it is her children place to get in touch with me because she was the one that wanted them on her side. I have never closed the door in their face. Why should I be the one to get in touch with her children when they decided to obey her wishes?
Have you ever been so hurt that you felt there was no way that you could recover from it?
Sorry, in thinking about my post I missed that you did get in touch with your sister. Good.
Hi jodie...
In another thread we discussed whether blood is thicker than water and some of us gave examples of family members we are no longer involved with. Sometimes you just can't do anything about it.
I always go with my gut, so if your gut is telling you what you said above, then what's wrong with that? If you want to call, call. If you don't, don't. Just let it go. Just because you're related doesn't mean you have to have a relationship, right?
And you're right (in my opinion) about the nieces and nephews. You didn't do anything to them and if they want to contact you, they can.
Hang in there. And welcome.
jodie34 wrote:Bella Dea
It is not another case of "Tell me what I want to hear."
I have called my sister and told her that life is short and we should try and work things out. I guess this relationship is discsouraging to me because she will not take the blame for anything . In the past she has always been the victim. If I just leave it in God's hands anything is possible. My sister said she has never done anything to anyone.
I do think it is her children place to get in touch with me because she was the one that wanted them on her side. I have never closed the door in their face. Why should I be the one to get in touch with her children when they decided to obey her wishes?
Have you ever been so hurt that you felt there was no way that you could recover from it?
Yes, I have and should I have chosen to not forgive, it would have been my loss.
And my comments were made prior to you telling us you called her.
Good for you.
jodie34 wrote:Bella Dea
It is not another case of "Tell me what I want to hear."
I have called my sister and told her that life is short and we should try and work things out. I guess this relationship is discsouraging to me because she will not take the blame for anything . In the past she has always been the victim. If I just leave it in God's hands anything is possible. My sister said she has never done anything to anyone.
I do think it is her children place to get in touch with me because she was the one that wanted them on her side. I have never closed the door in their face. Why should I be the one to get in touch with her children when they decided to obey her wishes?
Have you ever been so hurt that you felt there was no way that you could recover from it?
Good for you for calling, jodie. You've opened the door to you sister. Hopefully she accepts the olive branch. If she's never been able to accept blame then don't expect her to start now. She is who she is and at this point in her life she isn't going to become someone else.
If you want to see her children then pluck another branch. At least you'll know you've made the effort. Good luck -- I hope the communication starts flowing both ways.
