This has happened to me before only I was on the giving end. I was at my ex husbands family's house on Christmas and the entire family decided to get everyone secret santa gifts. I got one of my ex's cousins and her mother told me she wanted something from Victoria's Secret. I went to the mall and bought her a gift card from there. I put $50 on the card because you really can't buy anything for less there if you are looking for a bra. No one told me that the limit was $15. So I give it to her and the next day I get a call from my mother in law. She tells me that my ex's cousins mother was furious that I spent so much on her and litterally told me to take it back. Then she told me I couldn't afford to be spending money like that on other people. I think that was the first time I was truly offended on a matter that great before. I basically told her that in my family we did things a little differently and that I wanted to give her a good gift for christmas.
Secret Santas are always tough. It's good to be sure about the price limit ahead of time. Though, I agree that once the gift was given, your mother in law should have let it go.
As for my own personal experiences, I have a very wealthy uncle who is a dentist and sometimes gives me nice gifts. Recently, though, he's been acting kind of the strange and the family is worried about him. Last January, I was back home visiting, and I saw him in a Diner in my town. He gave me a hug and slipped some cash in my hand. He slips cash in my hand often, so I wasn't overly put off by it - but usually it's like 50 bucks, which is extravagant enough. But after he left, when I looked at what he slipped me, it was ten 100 dollar bills. First of all, who carries 1000 bucks in cash on them anyway? I didn't know what to do. I couldn't give it back to him. So I deposited the money, and sent him a nice letter detailing how that money would help me pay for my books and get me one step closer to my move to France. I figured he gave the money because he wanted to.
Sometimes we just have to accept and be grateful.
I just recently got a waaay overly-generous cash present, and finally arrived at the conclusion that Noddy mentioned-- unless the giver is losing their marbles or something, they've obviously already carefully considered whether they can afford it, and it's not up to us to decide for them that they can't.
I can also imagine, as Osso mentioned, being on the giving end and being excited and happy to think of how nice the gift will be for the recipient -- and that it would be awfully disappointing if they then didn't accept it. Kinda spoils a gesture that the giver must have been happy to make, you know? Especially with it being for a kid-- it's a good feeling to do a big, special thing for a kid.
