edgarblythe wrote:I don't believe she knows the whereabouts of her daughter. In my response to her, I said that I don't consider Buddhism to be a culprit.
I personally feel that Buddhism is not the real issue. It's her boyfriend. Most Buddhists I have known are not in the habit of alienating friends from loved ones. He possibly thinks you and your friends and relatives do not live or think the way he wants himself and her to live and think. He probably expects he can instil his own culture in her, which he must believe is superior. Maybe blood will tell in the end, but, I wouldn't hold my breath.
I didn't mention that some manipulative, controling boyfriends end up abusing and/or hurting women. I will get enough responses and send them to her. She will perhaps respond with a fuller picture of the situation.
I doubt it has anything to do with Buddhism, too.
It does sound to me as though the man is potentially abusive.....often the first tactic is to isolate your partner from friends and family.
I think your sister can only continue to reach out from time in a positive way towards her daughter, if she can (letters, cards, phone calls???) without attempting at this point to extricate her. Just that she loves her, is interested in her and what she is doing and what her beliefs are, that she and family will always be there for her.
I think the aim is to let the daughter know that everyone is still there for her, that she can get help if she needs it, that she is loved, no matter what the boyfriend is saying, so that if things go badly wrong, or the daughter begins to miss her family, she knows she can count on them.
It might be worth your sister finding out something about real Buddhism. I don't know whether this man is just perverting Buddhist beliefs for his own ends, or if they have connected with some strange cultish offshoot of Buddhism, but it might be helpful, if her daughter DOES contact her mother, for the mother to be able to be informedly curious about whatever her daughter is being told.