How would one go about hiring a hit man?

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I was thinking of having somebody wacked as a Christmas present to my brother. Unfortunately (and embarrassingly, as I am of italian descent), I don't know any hitmen, or even anyone who knows any hitmen. So can any of you'se guys help me out?

And as a side question: how much do you think it would cost to have some regular person wacked? I was hoping to get this done for not much more than forty-fifty bucks or so.

Thanks

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call me.

I bust kneecaps on the side. I can arrange for your "friend" to swim with the fishes.

Cement shoes are the new black.

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Bella Dea wrote:

I bust kneecaps on the side.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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Have you tried looking in the yellow pages, under "hit men-retail"???

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Mack the Knife

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My Italian has connections to the Italian mafia in Bristol, Connecticut. He'll drop a dime to Silvio and Guido.
Depending on their mood, you may not have to pay.

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Ooh, some good suggestions and options here. This is going to be the best Christmas EVER!

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Marvin the torch works out a Detroit but you have to pay travel expenses.

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If he doesn't mind taking the bus, I might be able to arrange that.

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I gatta Cousin Vinnie in Chicago, but he don't sneeze fer fiddy.

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Tonya Harding may be able to help.
I'll call Nancy; I think she has Tonya's number.

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Kicky - hiring hit men is illegal in New York, but trading goods and services isn't. You want to find a guy willing to deck your designee in exchange for you proceeding by analogy with someone he doesn't like.

Remember, no money must change hands or it isn't legal.

If you can meet me at any of the following bars after 6pm >
http://gonyc.about.com/cs/barsnightlife/a/smokerfriendly.htm
> next Monday, Christmas Eve, we'll talk to any of the barmen. These are all smoking bars and bartenders are used to inquiries by irate customers on how to dispatch hit men to do a number on some militant non-smoker wanting to leave innocent smokers marooned in doorways during blizzards!

Oh, and keep your $50, you'll need it to pay for drinks Smile

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Here we have another example of the slacker attitude.

Instead of doing the job himself, Kicky is trying to outsource the labor and like everyone else it seems, he will most likely employ the services of an overseas agent instead of giving the work, at an admittedly slightly higher price, to some solid American in need of some extra holiday money.

This has got to stop or we will outsource all the jobs in the USA.

My suggestion would be take a class on killing people at the New University.
Garrotting 101,
Headshots 233 (not an elective for photography
or
the intriguingly titled
"Who me? You kidding? 409"
(The Police Interrogation Experience.)

Joe(Hands-on education at it's best)Nation

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Ooh, High Seas, now there's an interesting offer.

Hanging out in smoky bars making deals with shady characters who make problems disappear sounds like a great way to spend Christmas eve. I'll be there!

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Joe - rest assured I checked those possibilities before posting my own suggestion, but after examining Kicky's original entry here the admissions officers for all those classes turned him down on grounds he mis-spelled "whack" Smile

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kickycan wrote:

Ooh, High Seas, now there's an interesting offer.

Hanging out in smoky bars making deals with shady characters who make problems disappear sounds like a great way to spend Christmas eve. I'll be there!

Done deal - my favorite is Macanudo's but Bar and Books on 73rd and Lex is also good. See you there!