In need of marriage advice....husband cheating online?

Knowing what is going on will come from asking her hubby and confronting HIM! She married him...now she has to trust he will do the right thing..in short time!

These people alway find each other, don't they?

Well maybe she will, but what if he lies and says its nothing but she still suspects, thats where Im at and I honestly dont know If it is becuase my ex cheated on me and I dont trust my own veiws or whether he is lying to me. I would want help becuase I dont know what to believe.

Its entirly up to her if it goes ahead or not and maybe we would decide it is morally too wrong, I dont know.

...and what if he tells her the truth? The best path in a relationship is often the shortest path.

At age 57, I've learned a lot from my past and present relationships. Perhaps stopping and thinking things all the way through is wisest. When you react with anger and suspicion this karma will follow you.

Oops..that's philosophy...too heady here?

did you miss the part where she had confronted him and still wasnt happy? In the main post??? Please dont treat me like an idiot

Why don't you just install key loggers onto your computer? Wouldn't that be much simpler than swapping emails with a total stranger?

makemeshiver - wouldnt work for me, he uses his laptop not my computer plus his work comp.

Yes...I read it and I come to a far different conclusion. It takes much patience to sort through any relationship or marriage.

Purplekylie , I just noticed that you said "I dont know if my boyfriend is cheating online or not." So you're only SUSPICIOUS...? YIKES! Then what pray tell are you doing attempting to set up this sort of trap?

My advice to both parties here: Get counseling help!

As the saying goes..."if the shoe fits..." Because of your own problems in your relationship, you're proposing doing something that is also equally bad behavior...making a bad situation worse...guaranteeing sure-fire failure. IMHO, that's idiotic behavior. You may not be an idiot but your behavior indicates anger and severe mistrust. This sort of advice won't help this person.

I repeat ....confront HIM..and don't go around his back with stupid games. Once everything is out in the open...you can hold your head high if you didn't resort to trickery and deception. Expect a good resolution and do everything in your power to HELP get that to happen. That means addressing this with him...repeatedly, if needed.

I'm against games playing.

Both of you have been feeling very helpless and the idea of manipulating your menfolk makes you feel wicked powerful. Revenge is sweeter than helplessness--at least in the short term.

All the same, you're conspiring to lie and lies are not good for a relationship.

Of course you both have free will and are old enough to take responsibility for your actions.

Noddy: Are you in agreement with what I wrote?

Ragman--

Two principles are warring here. One is games playing, the other is the right of each individual to make personal choices.

I agree with your reasoning and your ethics--but neither you nor I can attach Super Glue to our observations.

Reading back...not seeing where I was doing this, but OK.

Ragman--

You didn't reach out an snatch free will from our new posters. You might have belabored the point a bit, but you, too, have free will.

Hello,

I am new to this forum and this is my first post but I feel compelled to respond. This December over a series of weeks I found out my husband of 10 years has not only done exactly what you have described but went as far as meeting and spending the night at with her during one of his trips. I will not bog down this thread with my story. I had no clue this was happening. I actually accidentally found something suspicious and confronted him. He denied the data. My gut told me something was wrong. His story did not line up, the look on his face and the way I felt during that conversation. I researched and confronted him with more. The more I uncovered during my research the more information he finally admitted to as true.

I thought about tricking him in the matter you two have talked about. I sat and thought about what I was trying to find out. What I really wanted to know was, was there something going on and how far did it go. Of course this decision is up to you. I suspect you know your husband enough to know when he is telling you the truth. Can you trust your gut or read his actions?

My advice is this. Ask, ask and ask again. Confront and talk. Get a counselor if you are not getting anywhere. Get a counselor even if you are, you need someone to talk to. Do this before it is to late. This problem is between you and your husband. Don't bring a stranger into this. You need a clear mind and open communication. Be strong.

Take it as you like I will not be offended. I am too busy trying to find all the pieces to my marriage.

Good Luck.

Dozenredroses--

Welcome to A2K.

Your first post shows you're good at giving advice. Have you considered starting a thread of your own?

Hello everyone,
Thank you for your wonderful advice. My husband and I have worked out the problem and our relationship is going strong. Also, puplekylie and I did not go behind their backs to see how far they would go (if you were wondering).

Case Closed!

Hopelessly Devoted....

Hopelesslydevoted--

Good. I love happy endings. Thank you for letting us know.