In need of marriage advice....husband cheating online?

Yup - your husband is cyber-cheating on you and needs to stop.

(You would not be as upset about this if he were talking to guys about cars, but he still would be spending time talking with other people, etc., away from you)

Trouble is, he probably is addicted to all the excitement. Now he is escalating to actually meeting someone he met on line (another woman)

Put your foot down on this. Get into marital counseling ASAP.

Thank you for the advice.

He comes to bed wakes me up to tell me how much he loves me and how wonderful I am. Do you think he is feeling guilty?

Yep, definately feeling guilty. You need to get proactive. Go to bed but stay awake until you know he is online. Then walk out to him with just your robe on, open it up and tell him he can either get his excitement chatting with others or get some of this, but he can no longer have both. If he casually goes back to chatting online, take a baseball bat to the computer and file for divorce.

Ok, maybe skip that last part. But after doing this for about a week or two, you may well break him of the habit of chatting up other women online. If not, then get your own myspace account and start chatting with men and see how he likes it.

Seriously, good luck. He seems to be starting down a path that can only lead to trouble for the two of you. Hopefully you can get him to see that.

Either gulity or turned on . . .

You don't say how old you are and how long you've been married, but try the sexy nightgown thing and see if that distracts him.

If it does not, then you know he prefers his turn-on on-line.

Hopelessly devoted--

You're husband is developing a hobby with a lot of slippery slopes. I think you're absolutely right to be nervous.

Unfortunately in 2007, he can sit around in comfortable but unglamorous clothes and present himself as a sexy, sophisticated flirt--all in the comfort of his own living room.

Also, unfortunately, he has no problem pretending to be A Man Without Ties--which he's not.

He's getting a considerable ego boost from cyber-flirtation with strange women (some of whom may be lying to him). Can you figure out why he needs this make-believe adulation? Is his ego-weakness a temporary thing or has he always been a needy man?

Is he treating you any differently while this has been going on? If your romantic life is not sufferring, and you have no smoking gun that he's doing anything wrong; i would let this "hobby" pass on its own.

Most of the "hot chicks" on myspace are probably underage boys having a good time.

Thank you for all the advice.

Some answers to your questions:
No our love life hasn't changed at all.
We have only been married for 6 months.
I am 25 and he is 30.

Again, thank you everyone for your advice. I will keep everyone posted.

6 months?

Honey, your marriage is in trouble.

Get thee to a marriage counselor, ASAP!!!

Good luck.

Hopelessly devoted--

Probably if you raise the topic, your husband will insist that he's just having some innocent fun--and that you're being overly possessive.

Do your damnest to remain loving and charming.

My guess is that his on-line activities make him feel amorous and he comes to bed with love-making on his mind. This is not flattering--but the situation could be much, much worse.

Keep smiling.

"could be much worse" . . . how?

1) they have been married for only 6 months
2) he is lurking on web sites late at night, connecting with OTHER WOMEN!
3) he is planning to meet or has met women from this chat line.
4) he feels guilty and turned on afterwards.

They need to get to counseling ASAP

Sullyfish--

The situation here is not good, but the trouble is still in the early stages.

Her husband is flirting with unfaithfulness, but so far his straying is only theoretical.

Don't you agree that getting an STD as a loving Christmas present would be worse that the situation is now?

Right now the situation is in early stages and can be headed off it both partners want this. You are absolutely right about counseling. Things could be worse, but they are far from right.

I dont know if my boyfriend is cheating online or not. Maybe we should swap user names and each of us investigate and pretend to come onto each other BF's so we both know how far they would take it?!

purplekylie22 - what is your e-mail address or do you have yahoo so we can chat? I think it sounds like a good idea.

The two of you are new members, and neither of you have "track records". It is none of my business, but do you think that it is wise to exchange E Mail addresses at this time? You don't know anything about each other.

Warning: avoid any sort of subterfuge. Keep it ALL above board. This can remedied before matters get worse. Resorting to trickery is a very bad idea.

In my opinion, I think that if we were going to do this the fact that we do not know each other would be a good thing, we are more concerened with finding the truth than protecting our friends feelings.

We obviously need to discuss this properly though so we are able to decide if it is agreeable to do it and make sure we happy with each other e.t.c my email is purplekylie22 AT hotmail DOT co DOT uk

email me and we can discuss!

Don't DO it. The situation is complicated enough. There is nothing good to be gained from doing something sneaky. the best situation will result with patience and being above-board. Involving strangers can only prove your distrust and not bring the situation closer to a good end.

Ragman- It seems that these two people are not interested in listening to the voices of experience. Oh well, some people just have to learn for themselves.

Ladies.......Don't say that no one warned you!

But surely to know is better than to not know and if we did it and they totally wernt interested then we know that we are just being stupid instead of ruining relationships with suspisions