How to meet members of the opposite sex?

A few ideas.
1) What about other classes at your school? At least where I went to college, you had to have classes in other areas outside of your concentration. If you can do so without harming your GPA or graduation date, why not take an English lit class with a lot of people in it? Or a Science class (again, if your GPA will be okay, don't want you harming that)? Not to sound stereotyped but you'll probably find more guys in a Science or Computers class than in English lit but you never know. Also, you might be able to take something like swimming or coed softball for a half-credit.
2) Surely there are clubs on campus. I don't mean dance clubs, more like Chess club, Ski club, etc. This includes intramural sports -- volleyball is often coed. That's another place to meet people outside your circle.
3) The campus gym. I don't love gyms as they can often be meat markets, but you would see guys in the weight room, at the pool, etc.
4) The personals. Don't knock 'em until you've tried 'em. I meet my husband via the personals and we are married over 15 years.
5) Talk with your female friends. Some of them have brothers or brothers-in-law or male cousins.
6) That old chestnut: volunteer. There are lots of things to volunteer to do. Given that it's the holidays, there are opportunities to volunteer to feed the hungry, round up Toys for Tots or work the desk at a blood drive (my sorority used to work the desk at the campus blood drives and you meet a lot of people that way). There's the upcoming elections, too. Even if you don't feel passionately about any of the candidates, if politics interests you at all, there's also the party's State Committee. They do things like help voters get registered and are the folks who watch the polling places on Election Day.
7) Get out and do stuff with your female friends, even if it's just the movies or the mall (lots of folks at the mall this time of year). Being out is good for you anyway and you may very well meet someone while you stand in the men's store, helping your friend Betsy find just the right shirt to buy her husband for Christmas.
8) Adult education. After a long day of school, this may be the last thing you want to do (hence I put it last), but it can offer the benefits of meeting people really far removed from your inner circle. A person I work with is taking a class in metalworking. You could take cooking, ceramics, wine tasting, bartending, basic astronomy, all sorts of things.

Kitkat--

Be sure you're off with the old love,
Before you're on with the new.

Get divorced before you even think about starting serious dating.

Community groups, local sports clubs or teams.

Those are really great ideas jespah. Everything but the first three because I actually have already graduated college with a Bachelores..but I may be going back to get my masters within the next year or two. I am taking time off since I figure I deserve it from being in school since I was 5 years old in kindergarten.

Noddy, I do agree. Basically all I am waiting for is a little legal advice and a dotted line to sign on. I haven't seen or spoken to him since the day I left. We write occasionally through email about what to do about certain expenses. I was more asking about possible near future plans to start dating again to keep in mind.

Figure out first what type of person you're looking for.

Go beyond "someone nice"

See...this is a tough one for me because who I am looking for NEVER corresponds with who I end up falling for. When I think of a guy I would want to be with I think of one that has a great sence of humor and is understanding and accepting of mine, makes me laugh..alot..because I like to laugh, and most importantly is completely supportive of the career that I am so deeply passionate about which includes theatre and film. I have never sought out a guy based souly on looks but looks certainly help. I also don't pick a guy based on color or ethnicity either. If he is religious all I ask is that he accepts that I am not...I don't do well with people forcing their religions on me.

But who I end up falling for are...um...it's kind of embarrasing saying this but...I kinda always fall for the skinny, scrawny, geeky, dorky, goofy, white boy. I know! It's like a curse! I don't know what it is but I always feel myself being attracted to nerds! I don't mean the kind with glasses and pocket protectors or anything. I just mean the goofy wacky kind.

Sounds like all you've considered regarding a mate is what he is supposed to be for me, Me, ME.

he must support you in your career, make you laugh, not discuss his religious beliefs, is understanding (whatever that means)

When I ask "what are you looking for" that also includes, and is in some areas more important to realize what You bring to the relationship.

You have very nebulous ideas kittkatt.

he's supposed to make you laugh....about what?
supportive? As evidenced by....?
Understanding? What does that mean?

How deeply have you looked into yourself?

If you have, you wouldn't be embarrassed to say you fall for the "nerdy" type...you fall for the type you fall for....why should that embarrass you?

Honestly, from the time you've been posting here, and the impressions you're giving, I would strongly advice taking 3, 4, 5 years and learn who you are, and what your place in the universe is. Not looking for someone who will fulfill your needs.

One cannot truly love if they are needy.

Sometimes it's better to not think about who your next guy would be.

You have been with one guy for 7 years of your young life. Finding a replacement sounds, to me, like a bad idea. Think about where you are going and who you want to be.

I was 22 when I broke up with my fiancee. I spent three years by myself. One day, sitting in a park, with my feet in the fountain, reading a book, it suddenly occurred to me that I liked being by myself. I liked being with me. I was happy with me. It was a big day for me. And I got there by not distracting myself with another person.
I dated some that last year. But it was dating. I wasn't looking for one person to latch onto because I didn't want to be by myself.

Give yourself time. You deserve it.

You have a lot going on in your life right now that needs attention.

call the escort service and get exactly what you want and then get him out before letterman....

Sorry, I misunderstood the question then. In no way shape or form was I thinking only about myself, I just thought that is what you were asking about. I didn't realize you were asking two questions in one. Of course I want to be able to give him everything he wants and I hope that he finds it in me. If not, then we will move on. I want to be able to give him the same things that make me happy as well. Making me laugh doesn't mean I want him to do tricks for me or anything. And I dont EXPECT him to be all of those things either. You asked what I was looking for and those are the qualities I am attracted to.

Kitkat--

In another thread you indicate that you and your father have a lot of rough edges and loose ends in your father/daughter relationship.

Remember, women tend to be attracted to men who resemble their fathers in some way.

I suggest you sort out your relationship with your father. When that is harmonious (or at least acceptable) then you can think about finding a lover.

Oh boy have I tried that. There is no reasoning with the man. I have spent many many waisted hours on trying to sort out our relationship. The fact is is that everything I say to him is pointless. I have tried everything. I have tried one on one talking to him, I have tried email, I have even tried writting letters. NOTHING works. We didn't speak to each other for 6 weeks because of a fight we had over something I was getting blamed for that my brother did. Every time I write an email to him telling him how I feel, he writes me back a four page essay in response and all it says is that I should be thinking about how HE feels. If he upsets me, it should be me apologizing to him in his mind. He refuses to be wrong even when he has hurt my feelings.

Kitkat--

I didn't mean to suggest that you achieve an ideal relationship with your father before dating.

I meant that you should come to terms--within yourself--that your father is an imperfect being and however much you feel you are entitled to paternal perfection, you're not going to get it.

When you write of your father you sound bitter and resentful and persecuted and slighted in favor of your brother. You can't change facts, but you can change the way you respond to fact.

Kitkat,

Something about the personal or online services doesn't feel comfortable to me. So I've just settled with the idea that I'll eventually meet someone while I'm off doing the things that I am now discovering that I enjoy. I've joined a mountaineers club and have signed up for classes and met a great girlfriend while fundraising for the Leukemia Society.

I'm not going to stress too much about meeting a guy every time I'm out and about. I'm focusing more on enjoying myself, my friends and being open to meeting new people both male and female. I figure someone will come along when I'm least expecting it.

You're going to have to get a new avatar. Try something like this...



Now that I think about it... stick with the cat. (or whatever that thing is)

Like caribou said, you have to like yourself and enjoy being alone with
yourself, BEFORE you venture out and look for someone to complement
your life.

And the key is: to complement your life, not to compensate for being
lonesome, needy, and bored.

If you haven't figured out yourself yet, or have no clue what you really
want in a partner, then how can you find Mr. Right? Kitkat, you barely
left your husband, you had a rocky marriage with a lot of problems and
emotional turmoil, why on earth would you rush out again to look
for another potential problem partnership to happen?

Are you that unsure of yourself to be with yourself for a while?

Noddy- Your absolutly right. I can't change him and neither can anyone else. I think the fact that I am here helping out with my mothers illness has made me realize that more than ever. If this were any other situation and my dad spoke to me like he does now I would never have let it go. I would have fought him to the death. Something about how I know deep down that everyone is stressed out and my dad is doing the best he can makes me back down. I have found myself on several occasions just walking away and calming myself down. It's not like me to walk away from a situation, but I feel it's not worth it right now.

Marty- You are also right. I really should just "let the chips fall where they may" and not try to look for a guy. The reason I was looking is not because I feel I need to be in a relationship all the time but because I was overly excited about being able to do whatever I want now. What I am looking for is a place to play a little. I am not necessarily looking to hook up with someone just to have a boyfriend. I just want to see what its like to be able to be single and see guys or not see guys.

Gustavratzenhofer- I probably would find that a lot funnier if I knew who that was. The background looks like shes on the Larry King show. And my avatar is Puss in Boots from Shrek 2 and 3 played by Antonio Banderas.

Jane- I actually do like being alone and being single and not having to worry so much about how I look to guys while I am looking for one. I really deep down don't think I am looking for a boyfriend. I think I am looking to play around and have fun (not necessarily sexual fun but it's possible).

I hear ya sister!

I cruise the laundromats, and mix my colors with my whites...