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Sun 18 Nov, 2007 11:06 am
Maybe I'm a little old fashioned, or maybe a little too shy.
I had my kids out for a weekend getaway, my daughter brought two friends. It was a rainy, windy day on the coast and we woke up at our hotel with no power. So mind you, I had sweats on, my hair in a ponytail and baseball cap and no make-up.
As we drove up the coast we all agreed that it was the perfect day for clam chowder and we craved it until we reached the next town 40 miles up the road. I pulled into the first restaraunt we saw. The owner asked if he could help us and explained that the power had been out all morning and he had sent the lunch crew home, could we come back at 4pm.(it was 2:30) I said I'm sorry, we're just passing through on our way back home, Do you know anywhere nearby that we can get clam chowder? He said, I think I can help you with that and had his daughter seat us.(It was a no school day)
I had noticed he was good looking but when he brought us water I saw that he had no wedding ring. He had the girls pick out music to play from his vinyl collection and he and I struck up conversation. When he walked away my son said"Mom, what's the matter with you? You're acting weird" I leaned over and whispered"You're witnessing your Mother's poor attempt at flirting." Suddenly he understood.
Since we were the only ones there M(that's what I'll call him) spent a lot of time chatting with us and making sure we had enough to eat. Then he gave me his business card.
I figure, what do I have to lose, so I went to the website on his card and sent an email through the contact us link. I basically thanked him for his hospitality.
Do you think I read too much into his giving me his business card? Was I too vague in my message? I just thought that by sending him an email it would put the ball in his court and he could reply if he were interested.
I really felt like there was a little connection there and the kids seemed to think it was pretty cool to see me interested in him.
nothing ventured nothing gained...
Ya done good -- you reached out. Now the ball's in his court. Give him a few days or so to respond. If a week has gone by and there's been no response, chalk it up to a nice day and nothing more. Keep in mind that it's Thanksgiving week so people's schedules are weird (that's why I'm saying a week, normally I'd be saying more like three days). But you've made the move so wait before making any other moves, I'd say.
Seems to me you did it just right.
Well shoot, it will be a week Tues that I sent the email. And I was so vague.
Maybe his power is still out or maybe his computer got fried in the outage or maybe your mail got sent to his spam folder accidentally or maybe he's not interested.
You never know.
I think you did the right thing.
Maybe you should give him a call.
boomerang wrote:Maybe his power is still out or maybe his computer got fried in the outage or maybe your mail got sent to his spam folder accidentally or maybe he's not interested.
You never know.
I think you did the right thing.
Maybe you should give him a call.
I didn't think of those possibilities. Would it seem wierd if I called him and asked him out for coffee? I've never asked a guy out before.
Also, he lives about 45 minutes away including a ferry ride.
Hey, Steve (or whatever his name is), I'll be in your area next week to do a little holiday shopping. Would you like to join me in taking a break for some coffee?
Marty--
Practice makes perfect.
Maybe he is a married man. So?
Before you find Prince Charming, you have to kiss a lot of frogs.
I feel like I'm 19 years old. Rejection is a powerful thing.
Oh, and the website has a page about him and his restaraunt. It shows a pic of him and his two daughters and makes no mention of a wife. I'm pretty certain he's not married.
Marty--
Remember, now that you're back in the dating game, the rest of 2007 and at least four months of 2008 are for practice.
Come springtime, you'll be ready for romance.
boomerang wrote:Maybe his power is still out or maybe his computer got fried in the outage or maybe your mail got sent to his spam folder accidentally or maybe he's not interested.
You never know.
I think you did the right thing.
Maybe you should give him a call.
or maybe (as happened when my tattoo guy and I were trying things co-ordinated) someone's redesigning his website and he has no access to his email right now
(are he or his kids on facebook? that's how my inker and I finally got things organized - great resource)
OK, I'm going to try to get a little more input and work up some courage.
What do some of the guys think about the woman making the first move?
Marty.
I am roughly your age and in a similar set of circumstances to M.
By giving you his card after the afternoon, he was definitely putting the ball in your court.(and he is interested)
As a business owner/manager, he must be careful about flirting on the job. It can cause multiple problems.
Your e-mail was too vague for him to cross that "line"
Call him at a time that you think he will not be busy, and tell him how much you enjoyed the day, and you were thinking of coming back on other business without the kids, and would enjoy seeing him again.
This will give him a chance to reciprocate your interest or not, but you moved first, a little.
Good luck.
I think you should call him. What the hell. You had a good conversation, right? He did give you the card.
So if he gets all weird with your calling (trying to picture this, it doesn't seem to fit.) Perhaps he does have a girlfriend. But.. so what. Be nice, don't be embarrassed. If it turns out to be a stupid move, there are more clam chowders in the sea...
You can poach me in bouillion if I'm wrong...
oops, that would be a whole fish..
Rockhead's on to something there. You thanked him for his hospitality in your email ... probably not quite obvious that you weren't (as they say) reaching out - if he even got the email. Next time, put one of those received/read tags on it.
I would not do anything further. If he is interested he will respond to
the email, otherwise I think, he will just be obliged to agree, if you call
him and invite him for a cup of coffee, Marty.
He is a businessman, he did give you his card, but that doesn't mean
anything. If he had written his cell phone number or his private number
on the back of the card - yes, that would have been a better indication,
however, he did not!
The ball is in his court, let him kick it!
As a co-gallery owner, I didn't give my business card to every person I had a fifteen minute conversation with. Well, hardly any, and those because I wanted to tell them about something to see in another city, whatever. (There were cards on the table with the flowing tablecloth and glass top... we didn't push them past that.) To specifically hand one to Marty may have been more than a business move.
What, this is my diner address?
Some of us could be over reading it. But how often do you meet someone you like?
Not that I'm adamant about this. But time passes, and so do people.
What else, drop in, heh, with her children in two months and he's not there at the time?
I rarely give a business card, but when I do, it is for a reason. (they sit on the counter next to the register)
Almost always either a financial opportunity, or a fair maiden. I don't think he thought you were looking to have a chowder feed in the near future...
Chemistry is rarely a one way street. He gave you a card, now call him. The Century has turned, and there is no punishment for knowing that you were interested.
RH
I was just a little excited to have come across someone, finally, that I felt a little spark. But to have my kids involved makes it even better. I know they want me to be happy. But happiness has to start somewhere and I'm beginning to wonder when.
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