Take me back to Tulsa, I'm too young to marry....

I think you just blew your chance...

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Oh, I was suppose to mention how much I thought?

Engaged at 21. Nope, not much thought there.
I turned out to be a lucky idiot.

The eight year relationship... I thought alot about. He was a good, steady, faithful person. He was good for me.
He bored me to tears.
In the end, I had to admit my heart wasn't in it.
Neither was his, apparently.

This relationship I'm in now? Analyzed and reanalyzed. Examined and reexamined. Poked and prodded. Luckily, K loves me very much.

We weren't ever suppose to be together according to the rules in my head. I got a crush on him the first day I worked with him. I tried to fight it and find all his faults to stop the attraction. Years, we're talking...

the "rules" we broke:
Yeah, we work together.
Yeah, he's my boss.
(There's a little more to the story, but that's enough.)

I'd say I tend to overthink things.
Being with K reminds me that not everything can be so thought out. Life doesn't aways go according to plan, enjoy the ride.

As for kids, I knew I didn't want to have any kids since the time I was 17. I have a long and exhausting supply of reasons why I don't.
No one took me seriously until I turned 30-ish.

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T and I met when I was... 13.

Friends through Jr. High and High School. Started dating our senior year (After she broke up with my best friend. Heehee!). I was 17.

Ups and downs through college, married at 25, 1st kid at 33.

God, I've been lucky.

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Engaged at 17, but decided not to marry him because he wanted us to study, find jobs and live abroad.

Knew my husband since childhood. Married him at 23 for about three years till now...

I am quite level headed most of the time, but both of my serious relationships were not based on whether we would be compatible or not.
I said "yes" to my first boyfriend/fiance simply because he was good looking (all my friends thought so. at least)

I said "yes" to my husband simply because i'd always admired him for his talents and had not expected him to fall for me.

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Tam was 18 (and 5/6) and I was 23 when we married. Had dated for not quite 3 years. Still not sure why she was so attracted to this clown, but I figured I was one lucky clown so why question things. We waited 5 years to have children for the simple reason that we wanted to spend time growing as a couple without the pressure of raising a little clown. Seems to have worked since we celebrated our 25th anniversary this year and we are still madly in love. Although she hates getting that makeup all over her when we kiss. And I won't even talk about the makeup problems that occur with lovemaking.

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I was always cautious about getting married - also in my 20s I was having way too much for that serious business. While in my mid 20s, I met this one guy and dated him for about 8 years. Though I was crazy about him and he would talk about us being married and having kids and stuff, it never went that far - fortunately because he is a mamma and papas boy. I found that out the hard way.

He became more a habit than a love at the end. So I finally got the nerve about dumping him - after going on a skiing trip with my girlfriends and seeing how many cute hot guys there were just for the taking. Just a few months later, I met him - didn't know it at the time, but he knew it. We met on vacation - we lived across country from one another. We visited each other a couple of times and he couldn't stand being away from me. Me, being a more cautious type - could. He moved. A few months later we got engaged and then about another nine months we got married. I was 33, he was 31 - imagine after dating one person for 8 years, it only took me a year to marry this other guy.

We had our first child about a year and half later - I was 34 and the second just shy of 40. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary.

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CoastalRat wrote:

Tam was 18 (and 5/6) and I was 23 when we married. Had dated for not quite 3 years. Still not sure why she was so attracted to this clown, but I figured I was one lucky clown so why question things. We waited 5 years to have children for the simple reason that we wanted to spend time growing as a couple without the pressure of raising a little clown. Seems to have worked since we celebrated our 25th anniversary this year and we are still madly in love. Although she hates getting that makeup all over her when we kiss. And I won't even talk about the makeup problems that occur with lovemaking.

You were 20 dating a 15-year-old?

What were her parents thinking?

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boomerang wrote:

I know people who never married who are truly content.

Really? Interesting. Are there many people out there who never married that are actually happy in their later years? I'm curious, because it looks like I'm headed in that direction.

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DrewDad wrote:

CoastalRat wrote:
Tam was 18 (and 5/6) and I was 23 when we married. Had dated for not quite 3 years. Still not sure why she was so attracted to this clown, but I figured I was one lucky clown so why question things. We waited 5 years to have children for the simple reason that we wanted to spend time growing as a couple without the pressure of raising a little clown. Seems to have worked since we celebrated our 25th anniversary this year and we are still madly in love. Although she hates getting that makeup all over her when we kiss. And I won't even talk about the makeup problems that occur with lovemaking.

You were 20 dating a 15-year-old?

What were her parents thinking?

I don't think it was all that unusual 25 years ago. The guy I married at 19 was 24 and we'd been dating for three years.

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dadpad wrote:

dagmaraka wrote:
Though deep down I still prefer the idea of Mr. Right and family and all. Haven't met him though.

<Waves>

yeah, but i'm not so much into that threesome thing.

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We were both 23 when we met. Then lived together for nearly ten years.

She through me out of the house due to my alcoholism.

I got married after my therapy to someone else (at 40) (after knowing her for a bit more than one year, one year living together), since my former girlfriend .... well, she really had made some bad experiences with me.

Got divorced after less than two years.

Been married now to my former girlfriend since 11½ years (I was 47¼, she 46¾ when we married).

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kickycan wrote:

boomerang wrote:
I know people who never married who are truly content.

Really? Interesting. Are there many people out there who never married that are actually happy in their later years? I'm curious, because it looks like I'm headed in that direction.

Don't know that I truly count, Kicky. but I relate.

Married at 20.
Divorced at 27. (amicably)
No kiddoes.

Come near a couple more times, but got close enough to the fire to smell burning flesh, and realized it was mine, and I was in Hell.

I am content as me, and like company at times, but enjoy the freedom to do whatever I please as well.

Not saying I would never get married again, but it would have to accidently be VERY good on a lot of levels.

Single people have a LOT more spontaneous fun.

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Rockhead wrote:

kickycan wrote:
boomerang wrote:
I know people who never married who are truly content.

Really? Interesting. Are there many people out there who never married that are actually happy in their later years? I'm curious, because it looks like I'm headed in that direction.

Don't know that I truly count, Kicky. but I relate.

Married at 20.
Divorced at 27. (amicably)
No kiddoes.

Come near a couple more times, but got close enough to the fire to smell burning flesh, and realized it was mine, and I was in Hell.

I am content as me, and like company at times, but enjoy the freedom to do whatever I please as well.

Not saying I would never get married again, but it would have to accidently be VERY good on a lot of levels.

Single people have a LOT more spontaneous fun.

I have to agree that single people are happy as well. When I was single I loved it. Now I love being married - but I think it is more who I am married to rather than the fact of being married.

There are certain things I like(d) about being single - I like being alone and I miss that aspect. But there are things I like about being married as well.

I guess they are both good - just different.

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Married at 19
Divorced at 21 - we were both too young. At least we didn't have any kids.

Had a lot of 'learning experiences' until I was about 27 years old. It seems I was attracted to the 'bad boys' who were just like my step father. (he was an alcoholic, drug addicted emotional abuser) thankfully I got out of that bad habit!

I met DA (he was my neighbor) and we became fast friends. He kept his apt for over 3 years as I did mine but we were rarely apart. The portable battery operated doorbell worked wonders in this case. Someone would come to visit me, would ring the door bell and I would hear it in his apt. Smile

About a year and a half ago DA proposed but we have yet to set a real date for marriage. We both seem to be a bit gun shy on making the big plunge but we don't have any kids so I'm sure that makes things much easier. We live together in a home I own now and are working very diligently with a counselor on communicating better. We are both VERY stubborn. Work in progress. Although the clock is ticking rapidly :/ I can't imagine bringing a kid into the house at the moment, things are just not what I would want for a kid to be raised in.

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I was 32 when I got married.
I was 34 when I had my son.

I put a lot of thought into both 'events'.
My husband is a foreigner (US-American), and up until he proposed to me, we never discussed our future.
He always talked about 'going home', and for me it was always clear, that I did not want to live in the US.

Having our son was also not such an easy decision.
We wanted a child but it was always: not quite yet, not right now!
I knew I would have to give up lots of things, and the compromise we found for our first problem (I would come to the States with him for three years, then he'd retire in Germany) made us make up our minds about the pregnancy, because I could have taken up to three years off work without losing my job.
Of course the army messed up our plans by extending my husband's time in Germany.
Now I am a working mother, often on my own, since my husband is deployed for about 60% of the year at the moment.
If we have to move to the States next year, I will have to resign from my job, try to find a new one in the States and then another one when we return to Germany.

OK, this all was probably more than you wanted to know!

But still, I know I made the right choice by marrying him.
After I voiced my concerns he said: Together we will find a way! and so far, this is what happened.

And cutting down from about 80 scuba dives a year to less than 40, missing pub quiz tuesdays, leaving parties early, etc. is not as big a sacrifice as I would have thought at one time.
My son is worth it all (and more)

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DrewDad wrote:

CoastalRat wrote:
Tam was 18 (and 5/6) and I was 23 when we married. Had dated for not quite 3 years. Still not sure why she was so attracted to this clown, but I figured I was one lucky clown so why question things. We waited 5 years to have children for the simple reason that we wanted to spend time growing as a couple without the pressure of raising a little clown. Seems to have worked since we celebrated our 25th anniversary this year and we are still madly in love. Although she hates getting that makeup all over her when we kiss. And I won't even talk about the makeup problems that occur with lovemaking.

You were 20 dating a 15-year-old?

What were her parents thinking?

Actually, she was 16 and I was 20 when we met in Sept 1979. When we married in June 1982, I had just turned 23 and she was 2 months shy of 19. So 4 years difference.

And her parents did indeed object to our going out. (Her mom: "There's only one thing a 20 yr old wants from a 16 yr old girl, and he's not getting it from you") And I totally understood. They knew we saw each other on weekends at football games and they allowed us to talk on the phone regularly, but dating was out. In fact, Tam's mom refused to even meet me because she was afraid she would like me. But her parents relented in Dec of 79 and began allowing me to spend time with Tam at their house. They finally realized I wasn't simply out to get their daughter into bed, and began allowing us to go out in the spring of 1980. And the rest is history.

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Ahh, Coastal Rat that's so sweet.

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Take me back to Tulsa, I'm too young to marry....

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