Take me back to Tulsa, I'm too young to marry....

I was 19 when I married the first time. It was the right thing to do for all the wrong reasons. No children, thank goodness.

I was 32 the next time I married. It was the right thing to do for all the right reasons. First daughter was born when I was 34. The next one two years later.

I gave lots of thought to all these events.

I was 23 when I married and 25 when I had my daughter, 27 with my son.
Having the kids was the best thing I've done with my life. Maybe I was too young to marry but it sure seemed right at the time.

Thank you for your replies!

I remember thinking that I was too young to get married at 29.

I know people who married very young - my best friend K got married when she was 19. She'll be 48 this month and she is still married to the same guy.

I know people who never married who are truly content.

I don't visit the R/M fourm much and rarely offer advice but I am constantly amazed at the amount of strife represented there.

I'm 28 and have not been married, no marriage in the future planned yet.
No kids.

It's something I get torn about quite a bit, as having a long term partner and having children is really important to me.

I came close to marriage and a child in my early twenties. Sometimes I think back with longing, thinking it would have been great and I would be happier now if that had come to pass.

I put a lot of thought (maybe too much) into it and take both marriage and kids very seriously (maybe too seriously).

All in all, this is probably where I am meant to be with the decisions I've made. I don't have regrets about it, only curiosity about the paths not taken. I figure that's normal no matter what you do.

I'd like to experience these things, though, some time.

I met my husband at 21.

We started dancing around the idea of marriage pretty quickly, but we both thought we were too young.

We became engaged just before my 24th birthday, and were married when I was 25 (and a half).

We thought we were old enough to get married (if we were shacking up anyway and were pretty convinced we were going to stay together for a long time, why not?), but we did NOT think we were old enough to have kids. Particularly, I wanted to have some solid professional experience first, to establish myself in a field and be able to draw on that experience when I went back to work. I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.

So, we waited another 4 years after we got married before having a kid. I was 29 and 11/12ths, and had hoped to have a kid before I was 30. So that worked out pretty well.

We thought about all of this stuff a lot. We both were frankly a bit surprised that the person we met at 21/23 (he's two years older than me) turned out to be the one we wanted to stick with. I think that part was good -- I know so many people who hit the age at which they thought they "should" get married, and kinda grabbed the person they happened to be sleeping with at the time and dashed to the altar. When we met, marriage was the last thing on my mind and I was ready to ditch him if need be.

Plus we'd each already had serious relationships, even at that young of an age. I think that made a big difference. We'd already learned important stuff and could apply it.

I REALLY don't recommend getting married that young, though. If it must happen, for whatever reason, wait for kids at least. (E.G.'s younger brother got married at 21 and we were appalled -- like we had any moral authority -- but they only just had their first child, 7 years later, and seem to be doing very well.)

29 when I got married (RP was 27).
Age when we had our kids: infinity.

Lots of thought went into the marriage thang. We met in '88, got engaged in early '90 but did not wed until the middle of '92. Lots of effort involved in getting the wedding right, but also in getting the marriage right. Don't really know how to describe it, e. g. what we do, but we laugh every day, we talk every day and we tell each other how wonderful we think the other person is, every day.

I was married at 19, a mother at 20, and a divorcee at 24. (Actually, it should have been sooner, but we all need to go through our "process".)

I remarried at 28, and have been with the same guy for over 40 years. We did not add to the population explosion.

It is a standing joke between me and Mr. P. that if I had murdered him, I probably would have been out a long time already!

I can identify with that joke, Phoenix, it will be 27 years for us in the spring. I was just shy of 24 and Mr. TC was 26 1/2 when we got married. At 28 I had my first son, and my second at 30. We only knew each other a couple of years before we married and sometimes I wonder what on earth we were thinking, but things have worked out for us (we are both pigheaded and therefore too stubborn to give up). As long as we don't spend 24 hours a day together for too many days in a row, it's great

I'm 48, single, and have no kids. Most days I'm certain that that's a good thing.

she 24, me 25. Lived together 2 years prior.

Kids after 2.5 years (1st was a miscarriage).

I have never ever doubted the decision to wed but i was scared shirtless of having children.

Just had a conversation on this same topic. A friend got married when she was 20 and her husband was I think 28. They just celebrated their 25th anniversary, and seem really happy together. They did wait for 4 years after they got married to have their first child.

That just earned me a big smooch. Whats the bet I score tonight.

I was engaged at 21, after on and off dating since I had been 19. He was two years older. We lived together after getting engaged, but we never set a date. I moved out and on with my life 8 months after moving in.

The whole thing messed me up for some time... But I'm ever so grateful now that we never married or had kids.

From 24 to 32, lived with another boyfriend. We never had plans to marry or have kids. We were better friends than lovers.

Now, I'm with my K.
Soon to be 5 years. We do not live together. We have no plans for marriage, though we both believe we are in for the long haul. The only reason that we would have for marriage, is to combine our health insurance, which the way things are going, could well happen.
We will probably live together sometime. His youngest will be 18 in another two years. Maybe after that.

I love kids but never wanted to have one of my own.

I'm pretty happy with my life and my K.

Married at 19, divorced at 24. Thought about it a lot, but it was the wrong decision for all the wrong reasons. The only thing we got right was not having kids. Of course, this was not really my decision. He decided he didn't want them and had a vasectomy. I didn't try to stop him because I knew, even then, that he'd be a lousy father.

Married the second time at 28. Thought about this one a lot, too. But it was a risky decision for mostly right reasons. ('Though it has worked out well.) I was 39-1/2 when our son was born....five years later than we planned, but by then we'd accepted that we weren't always going to be in charge of our lives. It was a lesson we needed to learn, and we've been better parents because of it.

I've thought endlessly about all the major decisions in my life. In fact, I've over-analyzed them. It's almost a sickness.

I thought long and hard about getting married. Each time I would meet someone I could have loved for a lifetime, which were several, I backed away from commitment. In no wise was I ready for marriage, and I knew it. I did these women a favor. At age thirty, I was overwhelmed with a desire to start a family. A woman set her sight on me, and, despite knowing I still was not ready in many ways, we got hitched. It lasted about six years and we had two children.

Never married and all my kids have fur.

I just spent an evening surrounded by kids of all ages. It turns most people off, but I enjoy it tremendously. That's when I think I would like to have some of my own or adopt or whatnot.

Being 31, I see both the option of staying single and of married life as viable and worthwhile alternatives. I was in an 8 years long relationship and before that ended I could not even imagine I would live an unmarried life.. But after exploring spinsterhood for a few years now, I enjoy single life, too. Though deep down I still prefer the idea of Mr. Right and family and all. Haven't met him though.

<Waves>