Marriage quagmire -- need objective advice

There is a book my wife found that talks about relationships based on astrological signs, and it ACCURATELY illustrates what we're going through!!! I am completely shocked.

May 19-24 with Dec 26-2
"taking the good with the bad"

The challenge of this combination is to be realistic. Although dissapointment, conflict, and difficulties of all sorts abound here, the relationship does tend to be open and honest, even blunt. Rarely will either party keep what is on his or her mind for long before airing their complaint. This doesnt mean that things cant go well here; many periods of good feeling and even ecstatic experiences manifest in Gemini-Capricorn relationships. Taking the good with the bad becomes a way of life here. There are two great threats to the relationship's health: breakdown of communication and loss of trust. The first is more upsetting for the Gemini- the latter to the Capricorn

Love affairs between these two can be deep but also unstable. If Capricorn gets swept off their feet by an exciting, romantic Gemini, it is usually a matter of time before reality sets in and the relationship slows down or halts. Should Geminis stray from the relationship in the early stage and be found out, they may be surprised by immediacy and severity of Capricorn's response.

Marriages of this combination can be considered, but watch out. Unless Capricorns are willing to sit at home and wait in the wee hours for their busy Gemini to come home, this one is best not to attempt. It will be a worthwhile challenge for both partners.

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Just a few passing thoughts. I see astrological signs as a description of trends and dynamics of personalities....archetypes (see Jung). I don't believe in Astrology, per se; however, I do find it not so shocking that it could describe personality dynamics and how they can blend together or clash.

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My biggest question is, are their any children involved? If so, you will have to be willing to go to any length to make this marriage work.

If not, then I am not upset with your wife's "trust me or leave me" response. Granted, I do believe that trust is earned, but maybe she wants to leave the past behind and not keep dwelling on it in your relationship. If she is with you now, she is choosing to be with you, not someone else. You need to work with that, not a bunch of "what if's".

MK

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islandgirl wrote:

My biggest question is, are their any children involved? If so, you will have to be willing to go to any length to make this marriage work.

If not, then I am not upset with your wife's "trust me or leave me" response. Granted, I do believe that trust is earned, but maybe she wants to leave the past behind and not keep dwelling on it in your relationship. If she is with you now, she is choosing to be with you, not someone else. You need to work with that, not a bunch of "what if's".

MK

no children are involved. I really believe that astrology analysis is the crux of our problem, and it really circumstantiates what i feel in a nutshell. She probably strays because we're incompatible which is some consolation to me.

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Oy vey!

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mochit wrote:

There is a book my wife found that talks about relationships based on astrological signs, and it ACCURATELY illustrates what we're going through!!! I am completely shocked.

May 19-24 with Dec 26-2
"taking the good with the bad"

The challenge of this combination is to be realistic. Although dissapointment, conflict, and difficulties of all sorts abound here, the relationship does tend to be open and honest, even blunt. Rarely will either party keep what is on his or her mind for long before airing their complaint. This doesnt mean that things cant go well here; many periods of good feeling and even ecstatic experiences manifest in Gemini-Capricorn relationships. Taking the good with the bad becomes a way of life here. There are two great threats to the relationship's health: breakdown of communication and loss of trust. The first is more upsetting for the Gemini- the latter to the Capricorn

Love affairs between these two can be deep but also unstable. If Capricorn gets swept off their feet by an exciting, romantic Gemini, it is usually a matter of time before reality sets in and the relationship slows down or halts. Should Geminis stray from the relationship in the early stage and be found out, they may be surprised by immediacy and severity of Capricorn's response.

Marriages of this combination can be considered, but watch out. Unless Capricorns are willing to sit at home and wait in the wee hours for their busy Gemini to come home, this one is best not to attempt. It will be a worthwhile challenge for both partners.

When is her birthday? I am May 19 and I am a Taurus, not a Gemini and do not carouse around till the wee hours, so maybe this astrologer is a bit off with more than just dates?

If you're going to believe in astrology, you have to do the whole chart thing, you know, your place and time of birth so they can figure out your moons rising and ascending signs and whatever that all is. I believe they consider that very important.

If you believe in astrology, you might also want to check out numerology... you might find out even more stuff.

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Ok, Astrology maybe a little hokie. However Ragman's reply about archetypes and personality dynamics are based on studying years of human behavior. Who am I to think I'm above that? I strongly believe our personalities are closely aligned with the astrology signs (perhaps not based on the moon's rising or birthday, rather coincidentally).

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You are a piece of S##T

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You mentioned being "attached at the hip".

Perhaps you should consider going to CODA. Codependant meetings.

Rationalizing unhealthy behavioral patterns is not going to help your marriage or your self esteem. Liquor and Libido = disaster.

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islandgirl: you might want to check which the thread as you have the wrong thread, clearly!

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Ragman wrote:

islandgirl: you might want to check which the thread as you have the wrong thread, clearly!

My thoughts exactly!

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islandgirl wrote:

You are a piece of S##T

I did not mean to offend anyone with commentary on Astrology.

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Mochit,

I very truly apologize. I most definitely was on the wrong thread. You all must think of me as a weirdo.

You seem like a very nice gentleman. By no means am I offended by astrology.

I think that my passion for red wine got the best of me last night and I inadvertently posted on the wrong thread.

So Sorry

MK

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heh -- I thought there was probably a liquid influence involved.

Welcome to A2K, islandgirl, we're all probably weirdos in one way or another :wink:

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Thanks for welcoming me. I hope that everyone had a good laugh at my expense.

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Mochit,

If you are still out there, I hope that you have accepted my apology. I had an apparent case of keyboard tourettes, induced by a bottle of Italian Chianti. Once again, Please accept my sincerest apologies.

MK

Marriage quagmire -- need objective advice

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