Ladies: Would you date a married man?

No I wouldn't, Roxxxanne, unless it's my husband, but that's not really your question, is it?

If all you want is a physical relationship and you think that's where this is heading, that's really up to you.

But why would you want someone who was already involved/committed to someone else?

No I wouldn't, Roxxxanne, unless it's my husband, but that's not really your question, is it?

If all you want is a physical relationship and you think that's where this is heading, that's really up to you.

But why would you want someone who was already involved/committed to someone else?

****.

I wouldn't, I don't like it to hapen to me, I mean if I wear married and my husband is dating another woman, so I don't like to cause troubles to some woman...

Is this guy trying to 13th step you?

Even AA is a sexual battleground, but ah the terrain.

I just don't want to see anyone tuk it to you.

aunty seaglass


PS
Now get back on that other thread and tell us more about what the Tuk Tuk drivers tried to do to you.

Big NO. I also would not date someone in AA.

I would not date a married man because you create an innocent victim of the wife, plus I would not date a man who would cheat on the woman he swore to love. It would only be a matter of time before he either goes back to her or leaves me to cheat with someone else. Married people should get divorced if they are unhappy or work to make their marriages better by being faithful.
Cheaters just keep cheating.

As to AA - it's not a dating club. People should go there to deal with their addictions and not to get laid.

I see dating a married man not as dualistically as many (that a word?), but still won't say I'm in favor of it.

I've friends who were in AA who married each other, a stressed relationship but one of love. I'd be wary, but life is full of waries.

Merry Andrew and I are an AA couple. It works, I live in Hawaii and he lives in Boston - lot less stress that way.


Frankly, we have a better relationship than most full-timers and have no problems unless some lonesome soul misinterprets his sweet demeanor and genuine interest in the creative and intellectual gifts of a person of the opposite sex as anything other than platonic.

You play, you pay.

And I agree with you Green Witch AA ideally should not be used as a sober dating bar. But due to the nature of the beast it happens.

I often comment to newcomer sponcees, "get your head out of your butt and deal with your addictive behaviors and not your raging hormones", but then sex can be addictive, eh?"

There's always SA Roxxxanne.

What's with you girlfriend, you start threads and then take off.
are you sincerely looking for answers or just looking for reaction.

Hit and Run Roxy?

I am going to SLAA tonight.

KYLCAL

translation:

Keep your legs crossed and listen

AA sponsors many social events so, in a sense, it is a dating club. The way I look at it, his relationship with his wife is between them and if he is going to have sex outside the marriage, he will have it with someone else if I am not available. I don't plan on a relationship with this guy except maybe a friendship and sex if it comes to that.

Turns out my sponsor knows him and he hits on most of the attractive women in "the rooms" I had already figured that one out although he deosn't appear to be hitting on anyone else at that particular meeting.

http://www.blifaloo.com/info/flirting-body-language.php

I am sure that he is more than fascinated with you. Perhaps you should take him to a SLAA meeting.

Even better, pm me your email address and we can discuss this in more depth. I can't pm yet, but I can be more candid that way.

Besides it is declasse for a lady to discuss her sex life on the internet.

No Roxy, I wouldn't and haven't.

And I can't lie, I don't think you should either. Not talking moral hoo-haw here: talking about life and how a woman is to feel and know herself.

You've come to far to get sucked back in to something false. Don't do it.

I think you are better than that. Really. I think you deserve THE REAL DEAL.

Use all the tricks in the book you've learned; and don't get conned by anyone...not even, and especially, yourself.

You wouldn't even ask if you weren't thinking somewhere inside "hmm, this seems like a bad idea".

Now, Miss Roxxxanne , Mushypancakes has a point, you don't have to settle for less in a relationship.

I don't know what your sponsor told you, but my first sponsor told me "no relationships for the first year". One doesn't get into a 12step program because we are debutants on the runway of life looking for the man of our dreams. In fact old dragon lady, my first sponsor, said "Look at the track record of these dudes, with their thumbs in their belts, sucking in their guts wondering if they can score . These dudes didn't get to a 12-step program because they are relationship fodder, most of them got there because they are thieves, liars, pedeophiles, wife beaters, tax evaders, dead beat dads, womanizers, et al. In a word losers.

Now do you want one of "those" beating a pathway to your door? I think not, but then on the other hand "you make your choices and take your chances".

Incidently girlfriend, the article on body English was quite interesting,
she says "batting her eyes".

Sigh, don't drink and go to a meeting.

Well, I spoke with my sponsor about dating and relationships in general. She thinks it's a bad idea to date anyone in AA even if he is single.

She thinks dating is fine but get to know the person first and no intimacy until at least the third date. "Mark" (not his real name) just called and we had a nice friendly conversation, we both play guitar and we have spoke about getting together to jam. We had a real nice conversation and he said he wnet to SLAA a few times. BTW the secretary of this particular meeting is really weird and turns out everybody says that.

Lately, guys have been hitting on me right and left, I have two men stalking me now as well. I just need to get into functions outside of AA where I might meet potential men or women (I am bi, prefer women actually but my sponsor thinks otherwise as all I ever talk about is men...but I talk to her about men because she is straight and doesn't really get Lesbian relationships) So...I am going to start going to more mindfulness and meditation groups, apparently people in those groups form relationships slowly.

That sounds really good, Roxxxanne.

You are doing so good. I'm still impressed, honestly. Makes me smile.

Not too surprising that you are getting a lot of attention nowadays.

All I want to know is where did she get that set of headlights. I don't remember them from the San Franciso Gathering.