Vent, it's good for you

I know if I cannot deal with problems in close relationships (and not just partners) it feels awful. Abslutely awful...it leaves me feeling as though I cannot say anything unless the issue is dealt with. I can imagine that this would be very bad for health over time.

I think "good" arguments are difficult, but not awful, and leave things much better. I had no template for good arguing from my parents....I actually learned it (insofar as I HAVE learned it) from two very much loved and respected male colleagues...who are very, very non defensive, and who go for the ball, not the person.

Soz's way sounds great to me.

I do wonder why...if this study's findings are valid...men show less effect?

so, what's your point?

I'm one of those who has had to learn to read a map out of desperation. I have gone the wrong way on the same highway in both directions so many times! lol!! I have since learned to slow down, figure out where I was (which used to really stress me out) and try and figure out where I wanted to go and what's what. I'm not always right, but I do always try.

It's kinda fun. When I used to take my son to his hockey games, we always went an hour earlier than usual and invariably took "the scenic route" - ha ha. Oh well. Not a big deal, really.

THAT could have been a deadly experience .... if it was on the same lane. :wink:

Because usually it doesn't matter that much anyway or theres nothing you can do about it so why stress.

Other reason may be; men work out solutions to problems inside their head testing and retesting variouse permutations. ie if this were done what might happen... ..."that" might happen. That wouldn't be too good I need to do something else. what about if i did this.... etc etc. Analysing the problem and discarding obviously not suitable solutions.

Man: Don't come to me with a problem come to me with a solution.

Women: lets talk about it (come to a consensus) and see where we end up.