My son hates his teacher

Thanks, msolga. Given what I've read, I was leaning toward something like that. Just asking her how he's doing, if she notices his negative attitude and if so, what we can do to help that, that sort of thing.

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msolga wrote:

Please keep in mind that all parents are not always perfect, either. I've experienced a few (of different ages) who were ... how shall I put it? .... not exactly rational & prone to terrible mood swings. :wink: I doubt it was hormones (or depletion of) that caused the problems, either. And, of course, teachers are human, too. And come in all shapes & sizes with different temperaments. They (just like parents) have good days & bad days, depending on what is happening in their lives, in their classrooms & school communities. None of us is perfect.

That's so very true, MsOlga, that's why I always check with other parents
before I come to any conclusion about a teacher. In our case, it was justified, as the parent network had similar complaints over the entire
school year. Hard to believe probably, but there are bad apples among teachers too.

Luckily for us, this was the only "problem" teacher so far, and my daughter is in 6th grade now and has had many different teachers who
were and are just wonderful and very dedicated to their profession.

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FreeDuck wrote:

Thanks, msolga. Given what I've read, I was leaning toward something like that. Just asking her how he's doing, if she notices his negative attitude and if so, what we can do to help that, that sort of thing.

Well I certainly hope this gets the ball rolling in a positive direction, Freeduck. I just wish more parents & teachers could feel more open to discuss their real concerns about the children they have responsibility for. Too often there are all varieties of constraints & impediments (real or perceived) on both sides, for a variety of reasons. A real shame, I think.

How does your son feel about the meeting?

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CalamityJane wrote:

msolga wrote:
Please keep in mind that all parents are not always perfect, either. I've experienced a few (of different ages) who were ... how shall I put it? .... not exactly rational & prone to terrible mood swings. :wink: I doubt it was hormones (or depletion of) that caused the problems, either. And, of course, teachers are human, too. And come in all shapes & sizes with different temperaments. They (just like parents) have good days & bad days, depending on what is happening in their lives, in their classrooms & school communities. None of us is perfect.

That's so very true, MsOlga, that's why I always check with other parents
before I come to any conclusion about a teacher. In our case, it was justified, as the parent network had similar complaints over the entire
school year. Hard to believe probably, but there are bad apples among teachers too.

Luckily for us, this was the only "problem" teacher so far, and my daughter is in 6th grade now and has had many different teachers who
were and are just wonderful and very dedicated to their profession.

I think what got up my nose, CalamityJane, was the reference to the "55 year old ... with menopausal mood swings"! You know, this particular teacher may not have been all that wonderful since day 1. It happens. Her (apparent) poor performance might have absolutely nothing to do with her age.

OK, off my soapbox! :wink:

You know, I really like the idea of students experiencing a wide variety of teachers, of all sorts of ages & all manner of life experiences. I've always liked the idea of an age balanced teaching staff in each community so students can relate to a wide variety of people. A bit like some sort of ideal extended family situation: parent-type teachers, grandparent types, older brother & sisters, aunts & uncles. They'd relate to all of them in a completely different way, for all sorts of different needs. To me, there is something so normal about a situation like that! Very Happy

Too bad it happens so rarely. Oh, & the more students are able to get out into their real communities, to also learn from people who aren't trained educators, the better, too! Too often they're completely stuck, almost exclusively, in these learning institutions we call schools. Learning does not have to be so narrow, but too often it is.

OK, sorry for the digression, Freeduck. I feel very strongly about these things & sometimes have difficulty restraining myself! :wink:

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msolga wrote:

How does your son feel about the meeting?

It's hard to tell. He is adamant that I not tell her anything that he said, which I understand. But I think it makes him feel good that I take his complaints seriously.

I really have to reiterate how useful it is to me to know that so much of his current behavior is related to his developmental stage. I notice, already, that I do not react as strongly to it now, which in turn lessens it since I'm not fueling it. Specifically, I'm talking about his negative attitude and complaints of unfairness that have been driving me mad the last few months. Just knowing that what he's doing is part of his growing up and NOT a change in his personality keeps me from feeling like I have to do anything about it and focuses me more on redirecting him and diffusing his anger. I notice a positive change in him already.

But I still want to talk to his teacher if for no other reason than to let her know I'm paying attention and that I think she probably has some valuable insight to share.

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This is all starting to sound so much more positive all round, FreeDuck! Very Happy

I'm curious: is he complaining as much about the teacher's unfairness & his boredom at school now that he knows you'll be meeting with her?

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Hah. No, he hasn't complained since Thursday evening, but he hasn't had any homework since then either.

Funny though, the school sent home a survey for the kids to complete on Friday. The questions had to do with what they like about their school. Duckie said "the teachers are nice". He's a funny duck.

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Oh that's nice! Very Happy

Sounds like your taking his concerns seriously & supporting him got a bit of that anxiety out of his system. And maybe he's feeling a bit more at home in his new school, too?

But I predict that soon you'll start becoming anxious if some homework doesn't start materializing! :wink:

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FreeDuck--

How did your conference go?

I had an Aha! moment. The Second Grade grumbling about authority figures and the status quo is a way of being a little superior to the system. After all, little children don't see what is wrong the way big kids do.l

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A little update. I talked with the teacher today and it went very well. She confirmed both that he's bored and that 2nd grade is pretty much a review of 1st grade. She said she has trouble getting him to participate and that he grasps concepts quickly and then loses interest. But she says he's doing well and that he doesn't show his negativity there. He appears to be enjoying social studies (which he also told me) and this week they start getting library checkout privileges, which I suspect will help because he loves to read. She talked to the challenge teacher about him and he said he would look into whether or not he qualifies for that program, but I know he won't because he was tested last year and only qualified in one area -- Math. Big surprise! So he's going to be in a sort of academic limbo for life, I think, just smart enough to be bored with regular classes, not quite smart enough for nerd class.

But overall, it went well. I enjoyed talking with the teacher, who will give birth any day now, and I was able to give her some insight into his personality that she may use in the classroom or pass on to the substitute teacher. I have a much better understanding of the curriculum and how he's behaving in class, and I feel reassured overall. I'm also confident that she's not a beast in the classroom and, thankfully, neither is he.

I really got a lot from this thread and all the different perspectives and experiences that you guys shared with me. Thanks!

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I am also anxious to hear how it went....
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msolga wrote:

I think what got up my nose, CalamityJane, was the reference to the "55 year old ... with menopausal mood swings"! You know, this particular teacher may not have been all that wonderful since day 1. It happens. Her (apparent) poor performance might have absolutely nothing to do with her age.

You're right there, MsOlga, she could have been difficult in younger years as well. I blamed it on menopausal mood swings as her first grade teacher was about the same age, very content, and the entire class loved her. Her 5th grade teacher was also around 55 to 60 years old and quite wonderful.

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Noddy24 wrote:

FreeDuck--

How did your conference go?

I had an Aha! moment. The Second Grade grumbling about authority figures and the status quo is a way of being a little superior to the system. After all, little children don't see what is wrong the way big kids do.l

Hmmm. Interesting angle. I'll have to give that some thought. He does enjoy pointing out the imperfections of his parents in a slightly superior way...

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Hey, sounds like a good meeting, FreeDuck. Great job!

Does Duckie have to pass some test on ALL subjects to get into the challenge program? Can't he take a math challenge class, or something?

How are things going on the friend front? This may be more a girl thing than a boy thing, but that's the single variable that most affects sozlet's attitude towards school. She likes learning, she likes school itself, but when she has a lot of friends and a lot of opportunities to socialize she's happy (no matter what's happening academically) and if she's having some kind of a friend problem or no time to socialize she's grumpy (no matter what's happening academically).

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sozobe wrote:

Does Duckie have to pass some test on ALL subjects to get into the challenge program? Can't he take a math challenge class, or something?

I wish it was like that. They have to score at a certain percentile in three areas to make challenge and he did well in all but only made the required score on one -- the one to do with mathematical and spatial reasoning. I guess I could find something outside of school to challenge him in that area.

Quote:

How are things going on the friend front? This may be more a girl thing than a boy thing, but that's the single variable that most affects sozlet's attitude towards school. She likes learning, she likes school itself, but when she has a lot of friends and a lot of opportunities to socialize she's happy (no matter what's happening academically) and if she's having some kind of a friend problem or no time to socialize she's grumpy (no matter what's happening academically).

He misses his old friends. He's made a few new ones but doesn't have many opportunities outside of school to see them, though a couple of them live on the same street as us. We're working on that.

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I like happy endings.

Pity about the timing of that baby, but some days are harder than others.

Would the school cooperate and allow Ducky to work on 3rd grade math (as a special treat when he'd finished his review work)?

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I think something like that can be arranged. I planted the idea of using more challenging work as a reward for carefully reading and following directions (as opposed to saying "I know this" and whipping through it). She seemed receptive to that idea.

He was especially studious this afternoon while doing his homework. :wink:

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This is an out of left field comment, since I don't know your son at all, but I wish now that some of my energy after school and on weekends when I was in second and third grade - by circumstances, with few or no nearby children to play with - that I had had more to do - for example, a language class, even by myself on a computer, if they had them then, but preferably a live group of people..

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That's not out of left field at all. One thing I really like about this school is that they have an after school chess program on Fridays. Both the little ducks are signed up for it and absolutely love it. The other thing is that they do teach French daily, even though it's only for a half hour. It gives them a pretty strong basis for more intensive summer language programs. With any luck they may actually get fluent before adulthood.

So yeah, a little something extra is good.

Somewhat related... when Duckie first started to meltdown about school, I had it in mind to take the day off and take him to the local history center where they have a Ben Franklin exhibit right now. Just something to sort of light his candle again, if you know what I mean. That seems to not be necessary now, but I may still do it if he has a particularly bad day.

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Noddy24 wrote:

Would the school cooperate and allow Ducky to work on 3rd grade math (as a special treat when he'd finished his review work)?

In grad. school we have had "Differentiated Teaching" skills drilled into our brains. A teacher should be able to provide one lesson with a couple nuanced levels to it (and then more accommodations for special needs kids). The school I work at has specific time goals for different subjects. So, if it was a math block of time, the extension activities would need to be math-related (at least most of the time). Freeduck, has Duckie tried math puzzlers like sudoku?

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Yes, he likes sudoku. They have some for kids with only 6 numbers that he does pretty well with, but he can't quite do the adult ones yet.

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My son hates his teacher

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