Question.... I need advice ;)

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I had this posted somewhere else, I just copy it and paste it to here. Please I need advice!!!!!!!!!!!! Sad

Hi again!! Thank-you so much for answering my questions (its on the bottom called "Questions" on 8/02/03). My period came on Sat. at midnight. Though is there any possibility I can still be pregnant even though I got my period? And another thing my mom wants me to get the shot for me not to get pregnant, deprovera shot, how does it work? what kind of questions do they ask you? B/c my mom doesn't know I've been having sex w/ my bf. His my first and I'm his first and his dad knows we're doing it, its just, my mom is very strict but I mean very strict. I dont hate my mom for the shot on the contrary I'm happy for that, I won't have to panic. Please dont think that, no!! LOL!! Its just my mom is really strict and dominant. I've never made a decision for myself for example b/c my mom won't let me, plus I don't any privacy. You really have too meet her to know what I mean. My whole family tells me Gina calm down take things nice and slow b/c your mom is hard to be with. Everybody loves my mom its just she's to dominant and strict. I dont understand, she was worst than I am when she was my age. I am not as bad, not even close as bad as she was. Sorry, about that. It's just frustrating this my last year of high school and I know I have to study like always but I want to have my fun, this might be the last time I can spend time w/ my friends and bf, who knows....... So will the doctor ask you have you been having sex? Do they do a blood test first? Do you have to pee in a cup? What's the procedure? Is there a possibility I might be pregnant, we used a condom and everything but still, is there a possibility? my breast are not swollen (they get like that when I have my period), my back doesn't hurts (It hurts when I am gonna get my period) and I had cramps like usual. Sorry, this is so long its just I'm nervous and frustrated everything has to be my mom's way plus she hates my friends and my bf. Plus, my stepdad wants a divorce can't take my mom anymore, we've been in social service and everything. My family is falling apart. Btw, I'm 17. Please, answer this questions and thank- you so much, I appreciated.

P.S.
This is what I wrote on 8/2/03.
Hi!! How's it goin?.... ok, anyways, I have a few questions concerning sex. I'm 17 yrs old, female and i have a bf, his also 17. The thing is we had sex on Monday, July 28 and I was supposed to get my period by August first. But my period hasn't come down and I'm getting a little worried. Of course, we used protection, condoms w/ spermicides, but I guess we had like an accident. I'm really tight and the condom (how can I explain this) like got "stuck" inside of me, but not all the way inside of me, like when he took his penis out, I had the condom it wasn't inside of me like in but i had it, can you understand? LOL!! Sorry, I don't know how to explain it. Well, the thing is, is there a possibility I could be pregnant? And can you get pregnant by pre-cum? (He said he only "pre-cum", we stopped pretty quickly) Thank- you, I really appreciated. Bye.

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Hello and welcome.

Well, I can't find the older post anywhere so I'll assume it was posted on another forum and completely outside of Able2Know. No matter.

Okay, hmm, you say your mother is pushing you to get Depo Provera but doesn't know you're having sex? You say:

Quote:

my mom wants me to get the shot for me not to get pregnant, deprovera shot

The only logical conclusion is that your mother either knows or suspects you are having sex or are about to have sex. Otherwise, there'd be little reason to get you a Depo Provera shot, right? Hence, that's out of the way or at least it should be.

Let's not tie your getting reliable birth control up with your relationship with your mother. Lots of 17-year-old girls have problems with their mothers. Whether the family is on Social Services or not, or a divorce may be imminent (or not), or Mom is a difficult person or not, girls and their mothers tend to have problems at this age.

Now, as to the Depo Provera: I don't have it, have never used it, but I can tell you that any doctor worth going to will ask you if you are pregnant or suspect you may be pregnant before they prescribe any form of birth control for you. So yeah, you'll pee in a cup (it's a urine test to determine whether you're pregnant). And yes, they'll ask. This is normal, and it's important. After all, the doctor could be sued if you were pregnant and given hormonal birth control (because it has the potential to cause birth defects). I don't know if they do a blood test first, but it would not surprise me. Again, this is to cover the doctor in the event you might be pregnant and also to assure that you are set up correctly. You wouldn't want the wrong dosage now, would you? But these tests are confidential. Unless you specifically tell your mother, you have doctor/patient confidentiality, even though you're under 18. The doctor cannot tell your mother what you're there to do or get - but I'd advise you, if you want your mother to pay for whatever's done, she's inevitably going to ask you. So, if you want to maintain your privacy and not be asked by her, pay for the testing, etc. yourself.

And a pregnancy test is probably the best thing for you right now. Are you pregnant? I don't know, I'm not a doctor. Is it possible that you could be pregnant, even after getting your period? Yes, absolutely, it is possible. But you can get a pregnancy test for free at a clinic. Do it. You're scared and confused. Better to know, one way or the other (even if the news isn't what you want to hear), than to not know.

You're probably perfectly fine, but it will make a big difference in terms of how you sleep at night if you know for sure, one way or the other. So go and get tested, and get tested for HIV while you're at it. Now that you've become sexually active, that's a concern, condom or no condom, faithful boyfriend or no faithful boyfriend.

Best of luck to you.

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coqui86--

I'm a mother and a grandmother and because of enthusiastic, careless sex I may be a great-grandmother by springtime.

Allowing for understandable panic--a baby right now would really put the kibosh on a fun-filled senior year in high school--it sounds to this old biddy as though you and your boyfriend are having fun&games without having read the instruction book.

Check out: LINK REMOVED IT WAS A PORN SITE

This is a site for teenagers to find out all they need to know BEFORE monthly panics, founded or unfounded.

Right now your mother may not be your favorite person, but believe me, coqui86, she knows exactly what a dear little baby would do to your life--and to hers. The big advantage of the Depo Provera shot is that you and your boyfriend can be spontaneous and enthusiastic as all get out--and there will be no dear little babies until you are ready for dear little babies.

There are side effects, but safety has its price.

Good luck, coqui86--and be careful. You don't want another time of panic like the one you've just lived through, do you? Panic really takes the bloom off love.

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Noddy,

The link you posted was a porn site that spawns popups and hijacks your screen.

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Thank- you so much!!
Thanks for your advice!! True this is a tough age but seriously, I wish you knew my mom and you will have another opinion. But hey, I dont hate my mom for the deprovera shot on the contrary I'm happy for that. Its just, she's dominant and strict.Though will deprovera shot give you any side effect? If yes, what are they? Will I be able to have babies later on when I want to? So, should I tell my mom I've had sex before? At least, she knows were using protection. The only reason I haven't told my mom is b/c I dont know how she's gonna take it plus, she might make me stop seeing him, I can't go out with him or anything. You have to understand I love my mom dearly but she's tough. Sometimes she tells me, I should cheat on my bf and became a big "professional" slut or I shouldn't date anybody. The thing is my mom got pregnant when she was 19 so I guess she's scared that could happen to me. Pray to God, I am not pregnant. What should I do? Should I tell her now or later? And how? Papa Dios que salga todo bien, que no este porfavor!!! Papa Dios no lo quiero peder ahora porfavor en 11 meses!! Se lo suplico!! Amen

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Thank-you so much!!

Thank you so much!! I dont hate my mom for the shot on the contrary I'm happy for that, I won't have to panic. LOL!! Its just my mom is really strict and dominant. You really have too meet her to know what I mean. But I dont hate her b/c of the deprovera shot. The only reason I haven't told her that I've been having sex is b/c I dont know how she might take it and she might make me stop seeing him. We have not been careless, we always protection.

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It may depend on which state you live in but in general, from age 16 and older, the physician will not give your mother any information that you don't specifically OK. Ask first if you want. You could even do so anonymously, either by calling that office or by contacting any Planned Parenthood Service in your area to ask. (Look it up in the phone book.) You shouldn't even have to say to the physician that you don't want any information to be given to your parents or anyone else, but do so for your own peace of mind. I think they'll assure you that your privacy is respected. Any personal feelings that you think the doctor or nurse may have about your situation shouldn't interefere with you, or your need for birth control. They have a duty to you, the patient, to not divulge personal information; they don't have a duty to your mom to tell her anything even if she is the bill-payer. They'll be much more matter-of-fact, and much less judgemental than you think.

If you feel the need and because your mom may see the charge for the deprovera on the insurance, you can say that the deprovera is being given so that you can have more regular periods.

There should be a pregnancy test first. You should also have a full gynecology exam.

Since you are sexually active, I encourage you to start taking the deprovera shot. It is effective and will be a relief to your mom and... if you think about it... to you as well. It is the most effective birth control method available since it doesn't rely on your remembering to take it every day. It does not, as Jespah noted, protect you from HIV or any other sexually transmitted disease.

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Noddy, I figured out what was wrong with your link, you posted a .com, the site you wanted to post was a .org

The .com was a porn site, the .org was informational.

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Depo Provera and pregnancy prevention isn't the only thing you should be concerned about once you are sexually active. Even though you are using birth control, your sexual partner should also wear a condom to protect the both of you from sexually transmitted diseases.

It isn't a small matter. Some sexually transmitted diseases, if not life threatening, are definitely life changing.

Demonstrate your love for yourself and your partner. Insist he wear a condom.

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Craven--

Thanks for catching my blunder.

cogui86--

The helpful site:

http://teensexuality.studentcenter.org/

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cogui86 --

Deciding to become sexually active is an adult decision. Now you must accept the responsibilities that come with being an adult.

You MUST have regular gynecological exams. They are absolutely necessary for ALL sexually active women. Many of the questions you have asked about Depo Provera need to be answered by your doctor based on your individual medical history. Tell your mother as much or as little as you wish, but be TOTALLY honest with your doctor. He needs to know EVERYTHING in order to provide you with the right method and prescription. He is bound by laws of confidentiality...he cannot tell your mother anything without your permission. DON'T WAIT...SEE THE DOCTOR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!

You MUST protect yourself during sex. Don't rely on your partner. This is your responsibility to yourself. Condoms are good, but YOU need to take on this responsibility. (Besides, they are only about 80% effective. That's not good enough.) A doctor can recommend the best method for you. That way, you will know you're safe.

Please check back in with us and let us know you've seen a doctor.

--Eva

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Thank you so much!!
True, that is an adult decision. I agree, but I dont know how will my mom will take it. I know I am fine...... I mean I hope so. So on monday, it will be the 2nd week since I had sex. I will go and get a pregnancy test, over the counter. Just to make sure, how long do you have to wait to know if you're pregnant or not? 2 weeks right? I dont mind having the shot, its just..... its gonna be hard for me to tell my mom not come in with me. Since she's so strict and dominant, I dont know how will she take it. honestly, you need to meet my mom. Btw, its Friday and I dont think I will get the shot this weekend but hopefully next week. Which is better for me, so I can find out for sure. What is the best pregnancy test (over the counter), I can buy? Which one is more accurate? Thank-you so much. and thanks for the help. Razz

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Doctors won't give you the shot unless they know you're not pregnant, nor will they accept the findings of an over-the-counter pregnancy test, so you might as well save your money. My daughter says they give her a pregnancy test everytime she goes for her shot.

When my daughter went in for her first exam and I started to get up to go with her (not because I was interested but just because I always had gone with her to medical appointments before) the nurse gave me the I-think-not look. I'd imagine your mom will have the same experience. You should, like I said, call the office in advance and say, "I want this to be private, please." Generally you need to wait a while for an appointment, so call today for an appointment next week. Good luck.

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that good to know
That's good to know. My mom won't come in w/ me. That's a relief. Now, I want to check if I am pregnant be4 just in case b/c it would look pretty bad if I get there and turns out I am. I mean we've always used protection but you never know. But that 's good to know, thank you so much for telling me. Keep posting and thanks. Very Happy

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coqui, the pertinent measurement in finding out of you are pregnant is not how long ago you had sex but how long ago you had your period. Generally, you ovulate about two weeks after your last period, and about two weeks before you start the next one. GENERALLY. There was just a study recently that women can ovulate more than once a month (which is why the rhythm method is NOT reliable.)

You can go ahead and purchase an early pregnancy test if you want, just don't expect anything conclusive from it. Even if it's negative, you may actually be pregnant. I think I didn't have a positive pregnancy test until I was actually 6 weeks pregnant. I also think that the doctor's office is likely to be able to do a more sensitive version, though.

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You're welcome. I hope you've called & talked to the doctor's office. I'm also really hoping you are not pregnant, Coqui. That would create a whole lot of new problems. Stay positive. Piffka

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Yes, the doctor's office will probably do a blood test to determine pregnancy. It can be done (and is 99% reliable) only two weeks after conception.

For home pregnancy tests, you should wait a little longer. When I was pregnant, it gave me a positive reading 3 weeks after conception, but I still went to the doctor to confirm it with a blood test.

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Miss Rae is going to play Devil's advocate now.....

STD's are not always 'caught' or diagnosed correctly by a physician. Be responsible for yourself.....and get an education on STD's. Question your physician ~ not your mother.

The Deprovera shot has a lot of side effects that don't pertain to every single patient. Since there are no decisive reports about this, I won't comment on the percentages.

The ONLY CERTAIN METHOD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT is abstinence.

In my experience, worrying about being pregnant added undue stress, which only compounded symptoms. That happens to be a totally natural way for a woman's body to endure stress.....

See a doctor. More than once. Even if it's a different doctor.

Having a child is a life-long responsibility.

Best wishes to you, young lady.

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oh no
you can still be pregnant and have your period, when you go to the doctors office they can't tell your parents anything you tell them. be careful of the shot, it can cause you to have no period at all but you gain a lot of weight.
you need to have someone you can talk to, maybe try a counselor at planed parenthood, they can give the best advise and they can't tell your parents you were even there

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I want to start off saying Hi to everyone and I have reading alot of the comments and stories thats been posted to this site. For some of you I feel your pain and question the same things that are listed thru out this site. My reason for joining is b/c I've been on Depo for an estimate of 3 years. Unlike some of you I didn't gain weigh-but currently still have barely any sexual desires, had some hair loss and mood swings. I have no child but is curently engaged with someone and is wanting a child now. Problem is its been almost 8 months since I got off the shot and still no luck in Pregnancy! I've already had 2 periods (the 1st one was a normal one, the 2nd period lasted 2 WHOLE WEEKS!). From what I hear once you start your periods then your should be good to go to have children. WRONG! I'm planning on making an appointment with my doctor to see if there's other alternatives for pregnancies or if its just this DANG on Depo still in my body and I must wait longer.

Thanks for listening. All comments will be greatly appreciated.

Marie 1982

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Question.... I need advice ;)

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