An affair w/ married man

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8 months after starting an affair w/ an older married man, it's cooling down. I still enjoy him very much so, at the moment he's going thru alot at home and work. Keeps telling me he wants to continue the affair as he is still very much interested in me. We used to see each other every other day now it's down to maybe once a week. We IM on daily basis. He has apologized to me for the lack of time and how he disappointed me by canceling on me a few times. He said he hates making feel this way (putting me on the back burner) as he's going thru personal issues. I know what I got myself into, I know he will never leave his wife for me and I don't want him to. We spent a couple of hrs together yesterday,we had a blast. Just need advice how to continue this ....

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Well if the only advice you're open to is "how to continue" with what you're doing, you might not get much of use, here. Because I suspect that if others are reading the same thing I am, most are going to tell you that you probably shouldn't "continue this".

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Let me get this straight...you want advice on how to continue an affair with a married man??

Snood, is that what she's saying? Because I can't friggin believe it.

excuse me while I laugh my ass off Laughing

I knew I should've gone out on the boat today.

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Yup - that's what it looks like. Mebbe we ain't readin' it keerectly.

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snood wrote:

Yup - that's what it looks like. Mebbe we ain't readin' it keerectly.

I read it three times! Now granted, by the third time I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and couldn't see very well....but I'm pretty sure that's what she's asking.

I'm trying really hard to come up with an actual, helpful response to her question. But I just start laughing all over again.

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Well, I suppose one can always tell the wife. Then the guy would be hers and hers alone. No more impediments!

PS My sincerest apologies to the wife. I absolutely do not mean for this to look like I'm minimizing her pain.

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happycat wrote:

snood wrote:
Yup - that's what it looks like. Mebbe we ain't readin' it keerectly.

I read it three times! Now granted, by the third time I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and couldn't see very well....but I'm pretty sure that's what she's asking.

I'm trying really hard to come up with an actual, helpful response to her question. But I just start laughing all over again.

This is ask an expert...glad to see one (you) replied! Laughing

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Quote:

I know what I got myself into, I know he will never leave his wife for me and I don't want him to.

I think you answered your own question there except you don't like the answer.

You don't want him to leave his wife which means he will always put her and his family and certainly himself first. Now you are complaining because you are not first in his life. I don't think you did know what you were getting into.

An affair with a married man might get you some fun times at his convenience, it might get you a lot of nice presents, but it won't make you number one in his life which is what your post implies you want to be.

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Here's hoping you get married one day and your husband sleeps around on you. Think you'll like that? Will you have respect for the person he is cheating with? You sure won't have any right to complain about her because you and her would be identical.

Did she really think we would help her feel better and encourage her?

But welcome to A2K anyway. Hope you'll take the advice and dump him and find someone (unmarried) who will put you first. We all deserve a partner who will do that.

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Sobe919--

For many philandering married men the joy of the chase and the adrenaline rush triggered by carrying on a double life are as important as The Other Woman.

Have you considered that he has less time for you these days because his recreational time is being spent wooing and winning a new conquest?

Are you a woman to settle for crumbs--sneaky crumbs--or do you deserve something better?

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or are you both just a couple of alley cat whores?

I mean let's explore every possibility.....

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I love it when someone cuts right to the chase BPB.

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you can depend on me old buddy.... everytime... :wink:

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Noddy24 wrote:

Have you considered that he has less time for you these days because his recreational time is being spent wooing and winning a new conquest?

Exactly what I was thinking.

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Oh. Something to think about, huh? Shocked

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CoastalRat wrote:

Here's hoping you get married one day and your husband sleeps around on you. Think you'll like that? Will you have respect for the person he is cheating with? You sure won't have any right to complain about her because you and her would be identical.

Did she really think we would help her feel better and encourage her?

But welcome to A2K anyway. Hope you'll take the advice and dump him and find someone (unmarried) who will put you first. We all deserve a partner who will do that.

exactly.

always listen to the clown Cool

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Well after a long conversation w/ him last night. He told me he was pushing himself away from me as he think he's already too attach and might be falling for me. Im so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!

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sobe919 wrote:

Well after a long conversation w/ him last night. He told me he was pushing himself away from me as he think he's already too attach and might be falling for me. Im so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds to me like that old foe GUILT might be rearing its ugly head to him. :wink:

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jespah wrote:

Well, I suppose one can always tell the wife. Then the guy would be hers and hers alone. No more impediments!

PS My sincerest apologies to the wife. I absolutely do not mean for this to look like I'm minimizing her pain.

She wouldn't like the older married so much then if there wasn't some kind of competition.

My advice would be since it is winding down anyway is to go ahead and nip it in the bud...NIP IT!

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sobe919 wrote:

Well after a long conversation w/ him last night. He told me he was pushing himself away from me as he think he's already too attach and might be falling for me. Im so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing to be confused about. He has had some fun with you but now that he has, he wants to move on since he has no intention of giving up his family for you. He'll find someone new to use until she wears thin and then drop her. That's the cycle. So don't be confused. Just be smarter next time and stay away from married men.

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An affair w/ married man

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