Emotional Cheating, Objectification, Now I need HELP !!!

Luvvy, you're hilarious, do you know that?

Actually ladies, the critter in question is "leech".

Noddy, you are PRICEless!

lol, you're so right Noddy!! And I know exactly why I did that -I'm reading a Cary Grant biography and he hasn't changed his name yet from Archie Leach to Cary Grant. I must of had it stuck in my head.
Damn, usually I'm a stickler about spelling, too!

Noddy, I appreciate your writing skills So does Marty baker and I love the advice you are giving her. I have Down loaded Meavis Beacon or is it bacon and will be practicing typing so I can enjoy A2K more.

Happycat, you have a right to your opinions, we can agree to disagree. I got my answers. I am glad I questioned myself at the right time. No or little damage done. If anyone got hurt It was me because of my neurotic thinking and oversensitivity but those are my most valuable gifts too.
Can't complain. Life is beautiful. Today My son said Mom I have to start thinking about what kind of Job I will do? ( Bless his heart he is 7) Computers like Dad , No I hate working on the computers. Mom what do you feel when your patients Die, what do they do just close their Eyes and die? (No you are not becoming an Oncologist either) I wish they would just close thir eyes and die. They take part of you with them if you care and that is what is happening to my friend. Happy cat I wish it was as trivial as a cheap emotional affair with a colleague. He is smart enough to extricate himself out of that. Not smart enough to have choosen what he does for a living and not smart enough to careless.

Question for Noddy.



Here is the confusion I have Noddy. He was supportive when I depended on him. It was me who started pulling away and creating a emotional distance so if there is any chance of complicating things I could avoid that. It is only then that I noticed the somewhat strangely cold behavior. I don't want him to think I was using him for the unloading of my grief or to get free professional advice and now that that need is no more there I am minding my own business. If I could support a platonic friendly relationship I would want to continue that. The kind of peerson I am if anyone did anything for me I would want to be there always to do whatever I could. So far the only way I think I have been supportive of him is professionally since all my consults always went to him. Word of mouth among professional peeers and community. when I first camre to know hime he too was new and hoping to grow his practice but in these two years he has gotten pretty busy. I don't think that's because of me though he is such a good doctor and very well liked for hids caring and professionalism.
I always appreciate your insight and would want to know what do you think?

Lovemy--

I think in spite of having a bustling medical practice and family life that you're starved for personal time and inclined to make small mountains out of fascinating molehills because fascinating molehills are all you have to work with.

On another thread you mentioned how much you were enjoying the give-and-take conversation on A2K. This is a complement to the site--and a compliment to you.

I think you should continue a friendly, professional relationship with your fellow oncologist without freighting every one of his smiles and words and gestures with Deep Inner Meaning.

I also think you should continue posting here. Women need feminine chit-chat.

Now You sound like my MOm.( I am glad she is not around to hear this, she is backhome taking care of my Brother's kids after her my Sister in LAw's death) I do not mind because you are probably atleast if not older than my Mom. Although you sound happy Cattish but I don't mind because she is probably younger than me. Again molehills. Good psychoanalysis though, I am very dramatic and attention seeking and would probably never stop. Today I was called to work on 2 hrs notice as I was getting ready to go to the Gym. returned at 7 Pm and found this rather scolding response. Don't give up on me. Have work tomorrow too. All patient interactions went really well and positive. I think I was pretty burned out. After a break work seemed like a vacation. Burned out physician could be very dangerous. Unfortunately most of my colleagues seem burned out. Will check in again after the weekend.
You can yell at me I won't mind. My mom had a very polite way of making you feel guilty. I prefer your direct style.

Luvmy--

You aren't a Drama Queen--you're a woman who needs Great Emotional Scope.

Remember. no one said you had to be Absolutely Perfect by tomorrow. Your deadline has been extended until next Tuesday.

Woman, you know you need personal time. Make some!

Thanks Noddy


Sorry Noddy I was very tired that day when you said I am starved for personal time I took it as if I am craving attention. That may be true too.

Could you please Expand on this Emotional scope thing. That is a intriguing thing that I have never heard before. Quite different from the things I am used to hearing "Bright, pretty, caring and Such a good doctor"

My Emotional scope as much as I understand it(may not know what it is in it's true sense) is creating a lot of trouble right now. I could do without it for a while.

If I take your advice (and I want to ) and give myself some personal time Would'nt it further enrich the emotional scope ?

Today was the true first day of the New schedule. Start was beautiful, My little girl's first day of school. She was dressed in a pink green and white dress. I packed them Brown paper bag lunches. Bento boxes didnt arrive yet. When It was time to leave My husband said Are you going to take them. She said the brightest thing, " No daddy mama stays home you take me because you go to OFFICINA. It is so pretty when she combines her Spanish ( learned from the nanny) with the other two. Dad did a great job. Handling both of them. Even did listen to me and did not go into her classroom with her. Updated me after all was done.

Yesterday one of the female colleagues said " we are killing our men" Do you think that is true. We The SuperWomen Take over from jobs to groceries to homeworks to extra curricular activities. What do you think ?

PS tell me more about my Emotional scope . Does reading help or is it just an escape. I practically could just shop all day and getr pedicures and facials but that becomes meaningless after a while. Now don't take me wrong I have a long list of chores but since you insist I take personal time some ideas will be appreciated. Knowing as much as you know me could you recommend some good books too. No Fiction. Actually I could read more about this Emotional Scope if there is such a thing, can't get over it. Please dont tell me that is another polite name for someone with a Histrionic personality.

Thanks Noddy


Sorry Noddy I was very tired that day when you said I am starved for personal time I took it as if I am craving attention. That may be true too.

Could you please Expand on this Emotional scope thing. That is a intriguing thing that I have never heard before. Quite different from the things I am used to hearing "Bright, pretty, caring and Such a good doctor"

My Emotional scope as much as I understand it(may not know what it is in it's true sense) is creating a lot of trouble right now. I could do without it for a while.

If I take your advice (and I want to ) and give myself some personal time Would'nt it further enrich the emotional scope ?

Today was the true first day of the New schedule. Start was beautiful, My little girl's first day of school. She was dressed in a pink green and white dress. I packed them Brown paper bag lunches. Bento boxes didnt arrive yet. When It was time to leave My husband said Are you going to take them. She said the brightest thing, " No daddy mama stays home you take me because you go to OFFICINA. It is so pretty when she combines her Spanish ( learned from the nanny) with the other two. Dad did a great job. Handling both of them. Even did listen to me and did not go into her classroom with her. Updated me after all was done.

Yesterday one of the female colleagues said " we are killing our men" Do you think that is true. We The SuperWomen Take over from jobs to groceries to homeworks to extra curricular activities. What do you think ?

PS tell me more about my Emotional scope . Does reading help or is it just an escape. I practically could just shop all day and getr pedicures and facials but that becomes meaningless after a while. Now don't take me wrong I have a long list of chores but since you insist I take personal time some ideas will be appreciated. Knowing as much as you know me could you recommend some good books too. No Fiction. Actually I could read more about this Emotional Scope if there is such a thing, can't get over it. Please dont tell me that is another polite name for someone with a Histrionic personality.

Luvmy--

"Drama Queen" is a bit put-downish while a need for Great Emotional Scope says the same sort of thing in a nicer way. You aren't a Drama Queen, per se, but right now you are very emotionally needy.

Obviously there is a void in your life right now--otherwise you wouldn't be fascinated by what a total stranger with a superficial knowledge of your life and personality says about you.

Of course reading helps--particularly if you have someone to discuss the reading with. Jogging helps. Creating origami cranes helps.

Personally, I think that reading fiction might be very good for you. I'll recommend anything by Terry Pratchett.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/102-5805506-0965726?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Terry+Pratchett

He's light, witty and would be an excellent escape from your family and professional responsibilities.

Enjoy!

Why not post a new thread on the topic of Superwomen Killing Their Men?

Noddy, you have such a way with words. :wink:

Happycat--

Thanks for the kind words.

Noddy You can be straighrtforward with me. People that I really like are not usually politically correct . I want to write more but kids need to be read and put in bed if I survive after that will log in later.

BAsic personality traits are determined at 18 years of age and are unmodifiable. Right now I am getting over some serious grief. I also feel at the same time that I need to rediscover myself. I went thru a vigorous 6year track for medicine, got married in second year med school, then had kids in residency and then a full time Job. I have not experienced what most people do in College that is Just experience life.
I am not interested in fiction. I will tell you what interests me. I have this flute tune on my phone once it rang someone a very senior colleague recommended " Queen of Nights" I would not have thought of you as her. Then I looked up the whole Mozart and his last comosition of The magic flute for Opera story. Then I was listeneing to NPR someone read the most beautiful passage about how when someone loves something such as a piece of music. you are actually experiencing that persons's mind there is a flow of emotion that connects you taht person and that is Love in it's purest form which is actually a stronger emotion than Faith or Hope. That was really inspiring. ( I would be interesteed in reading such writings , will try to log on to NPR and see if that is still available.)
That way all of us on A2K love each other and are not really strangers. You Noddy are probably touching more lives than a Doctor would in any given day because as Doctor's we don't have time to connect with people, as spouses friends and neighbours we don't have time to connect with each other. (so when you say why I am worried about what a stranger has to say about me I beg to differ)

I go to Gym most days that Iam not working, Will be Home room mom for my son and volunteer at their School Library. Still thre is a neeed t o find the real me. But then I think most people have that.

Ok My hubby wants to watch a movie and have tea, So long.