Jane and I are talking about medical insurance, not car insurance.
She had some insurance
there was some insrunce if not she would have bills in the 7 digits.But there is so much they don't pay for or cover.and co pays and such
EAngel, welcome to A2K. I don't think it's wrong to ask for help. It never hurts to ask, but obviously some will be more sympathetic than others. One point I would like to clarify however is that you talk about her future and her medical bills. While her future will be affected by the physical injuries she carries, the medical bills are yours. Unless I'm mistaken, the cost of your daughter's care (including any medical bills) are the responsibility of her parents/guardians until she turns 18.
That doesn't change my opinion about whether you should or shouldn't ask for help, but I believe the bills are yours.
Good luck.
Re: She had some insurance
EAngel wrote:there was some insrunce if not she would have bills in the 7 digits.But there is so much they don't pay for or cover.and co pays and such
Welcome to the crappy health care system of America - worst of all the first world countries. You should see a lawyer about bankruptcy and then call your state's welfare department and apply for Medicaid.
or - Do you have citizenship in another country? - perhaps Canada, France or Cuba?
It's terrible what happened with your daughter - getting her license, immediately getting into an accident, injuring other people, wrecking her car, having all those medical injuries and bills. No doubt about it.
And yes, of course you should ask for help for your daughter. You are her mother, and if you don't try and help her, who will? Absolutely, ask everyone!
Just not here. This is not the appropriate place for that.
I wish you all the best and am sorry this happened to her. Accidents DO happen; they happen all the time. I know you're worried, but when you're feeling helpless, just remember, she's not paralyzed or dead. And that no one else is, either.
Good luck to you, EA.
This is a perfect example why the US needs universal health care!
This is sad!
your Right
The medical bills are mine, I am the parent.But I have no money to pay them.she will turn 18 very soon too.I am born and breed in the USA.
I am saying you can't be with your kids forever.And at some point you have to allow them freedom.I would neverhave let her leave the house if I had even a notion this would happen.i have even been put down because the car had no air bags.The thingid I have no money have to save for each and everything. and it takes forever to get it.I am just concerned for her and her health.The health care system is not very good at helping people they charge so much for everything.i kinda feel like people think it's al my fault,and i do blame myself .But I was trying to help her not get her hurt or anyone else for that matter.
Again i am not asking anyone here for help other than
I am asking for input only. I have took a mental beating over all this.and talking to strangers , people that have no idea who I am helps,It give me hope that I may being doing the right thing.Or that maybe I am not maybe I am hoping for too much.And maybe I am being horriable in seking help for her.I would take a doctor offering services .Not asking for that here just as an example I am not just trying to find money for her.I am trying to find services for her that will help her heal and have a life again/I know we are lucky she is a live and she will be able to walk even if somewhat lame.I do understand that others have far worse troube than WE do.But I have to try and figure out if what I am doing or trying t do is right or wrong.
You are most definitely right in trying to help your daughter - or course you should help her, you are her mother. Good for you for doing that. I'm sorry that it's so bad $$ where you are - I wish you only the best, EA, and for your daughter, too.
To answer your original question - I see nothing wrong with you asking the public for help. America has a medieval medical system that expects people to beg or die quietly in a corner if they cannot afford necessary medical care. You are doing what you can for your daughter by asking for help. I still think you need to speak to a lawyer and look into any programs you may qualify for. You will lose any assests you may own, but you might be able to get some assistance.
I don't think it's your fault and my heart goes out to you and your daughter. **** happens and we're left with a mess!
It's very sad, but it's not your fault. I only wish I knew a way to help you.
When I was living in the states when my son was little, I had to go on MassHealth (Massachusetts) for a while because I was having some major financial problems, but this was years ago and I have no idea what's available now, if anything.
Have you checked your government site to see what may be available in your state? There is probebly tons of information there where you could qualify for some assistance. I've been in Canada for over 7 years now, so I know what's available for assistance here, but am totally clueless on what's happening over there these days.
I wish you and your daughter the very best!
I have talked to a lawyer
The lawyers wants 5000.00 to help her with just court alone.I don't have anything to lose so far as filing chapter 13.But I know plastic surgery is something she will most likely never get.She told me mom if nothing else do you think I will get my teeth fixed becuse they hurt so bad her mouth was wired shut she lost 2 and 1/2 inches of jaw bone so they bunched her teeth on top of each other.any way thank you for the support about trying to get her help.I will keep getting negatives I am sure.but I love her i just want to do the right thing.Not hurt anyone.
EAngel, do not listen to the negative things people say. You have to do what is necessary for your daughter and for your other children that this is affecting too. People that do not know that this could have been them are small and you and your daughter are not small.
Is Castalia a small town? Is there a bigger town close by where you could go to the radio station or reach more people by setting up a table at a mall or something?
Mame wrote:It's terrible what happened with your daughter - getting her license, immediately getting into an accident, injuring other people, wrecking her car, having all those medical injuries and bills. No doubt about it.
And yes, of course you should ask for help for your daughter. You are her mother, and if you don't try and help her, who will? Absolutely, ask everyone!
Just not here. This is not the appropriate place for that.
I wish you all the best and am sorry this happened to her. Accidents DO happen; they happen all the time. I know you're worried, but when you're feeling helpless, just remember, she's not paralyzed or dead. And that no one else is, either.
Good luck to you, EA.
I agree with Mame's post. I think people may be responding to the fact that you seemed to be asking for money here. I do think you're justified in asking for money elsewhere (not here), and I really like sweettart's idea of contacting a radio station. A local paper might be good, too.
Re: The Accident
EAngel wrote:My Daughter was going to school that morning 7:30 am she had her license for less than 24 hours.she had one too many under 18 years of age passagers in the car.she went around a curve she lost control and hit a police officer head on.She was hurt pretty bad.She boke every bone in her face.Her mouth was wired shut.she broke her sturnum in 2 places,she had a mental rod and 12 screws in her leg.she broke her arm.She had to be cutout of the car ,she was charged wih careless & reckless and crossing the center line.I have gotten some heat beacuse the news papers did a story and said she need help with medical bills her face was cut in about 7 places so forth
I think going to the media is what has her concerned about public reaction. She apparently got a bunch of flack from folks who thought she had no business talking about financial needs. She got some similar responses here. Different strokes...
I missed that, thanks.
Sorry about the flack -- I guess it's part of the whole picture. It's a risk you take in asking for money -- some people will respond by donating money, others will respond by getting mad that you asked for money.
I see articles and clips all the time detailing these kinds of events and often a bank account is set up for those that feel moved to contribute. They never bother me - after all, I don't have to contribute. But if you don't ask, you won't get anything, so I'd swallow my pride or whatever it is that's holding you back, think of my daughter and hound the press or whomever is able to help. Yes, I certainly would. Poor kid.
I'm with Mame. I would do whatever I had to do to help my child. In fact, I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for him in a situation like this. I can only imagine how helpless you must feel having to watch your daughter suffer. That's torture to a parent and I feel for you both and your family.
The radio station is a good idea. Maybe set up a web site where people are free to donate if they wish.
Thanks
I want to say I am not asking for money here.I am trying to understand the negative I hae gotten about my daughter being in the press.I have gotten mail , phone calls and so forth saying that is was wrong of me , asking me what kind of mother I am ? They say if I was a better parent , The accident would never have happened at all.Not sure Why I was not even there.I got slack because the car did not have air bags.There is an account set up for her at a bank.So far noone has been moved to donate.But everytime the paper does a new artical about it.Someone else comes along and make a negative comment next day in the paper.So anyone who might have thought about helping her well the stop the thought and move on.I ahve applied for medicaid , But there is so much they don't pay for.People assume if she gets medicaid , she'll be covered.When I first posted my question here I placed the website up.Not to ask for money here ,but so people could read the news clippings and see what I was talking about.The G.O.T.C. did a Christian Biker run for her they raised 700.00 for her which she has not recieved yet.Wake Med said her plastic and reconstructive surgey would cost around $100.000 to 150.000 alone.And they told me that medicaid would not pay for that.as It is consider an elective surgery.She does not need it to live.She is seeing about 10 doctors and they are all miles away.So Money isa big issue.I not here to wine.I am just trying to hard to understand why some people are being so negatie a bitter.I guess too I am venting.I felt going on a parenting fourum I could gain so knowledge.Very little has been done to help my child or our family.I do understand the world does not owe her or us anything.But I know if this was someone elses child if I could help I would.If I could not I would not try and tear the parent down that was seeking help for her child.It seems so many people these days are numb to others pain and suffering.I wonder how many people ask them self what if this my child or my family ? No matter what your answers are to ask for help be the yes or no.I am thankful.Because it helps me work it out in my head.I feel beaten and torn down.I am out of answers.But this fourum may help me with my thoughts and understanding of others feelings , ideas and opinions.You are all great.
Castalia is a small town
I live out in the country and Castalia , N C . Is a small area only one store.And its about 20 miles to anything else and those towns are small too.
