Adventure 2 Know - Story-a-long the A2K way

Bella screamed "What the hell am I going to do now? I have all this normal baby stuff and It cost me a fortune"!

Suddenly,

jespah rose to the occasion: "It certainly isn't a capybara, Bella, it's a human-bloody-being, but I do admit, it is rather strange looking", jespah carelessly assured her. "C'mon, let's wrap it up in something and move on. Oh, and can somebody cut or bite off the placenta part? Oh, thanks, Slappy! Now, I'm going to say this once and only once, for I do get tired of repeating myself, I know I'm only an Administrator but someone needs to take charge here... we need to pack up our troubles in an old kit bag and smile, smile, smile... plus, of course, we need to march on out of this grotto or portal or whateverthehell it is!"

From the back of the crowd a figure could be seen waving. A flag, of course, waving a bloody flag. Ah, I tried to discern which country it belonged to but I'd never seen the like. It had a sickle and hammer over a red circle, and was surrounded by stars and stripes. Wotthehell??? I was more confused than ever, and being given the capybara-looking baby to hold didn't help. I looked down at it as wasn't even sure it was human - good Lord, Bella might be right.

Distracted by the 'baby', I finally noticed the flag-waving figure had emerged to the front of the crowd. My God! It was none other than...

Mame. She yelled "Hey, I found one of those new parenting spots for Bella and her, so called, baby"

"But I parked in it, so there!" and she laughed evilly, maniacally even. Just then, mac11 stepped out - "People, I'm on a mission. I've lost god knows how many pounds in the last however many weeks and I'm making such great progress. Plus, I gather we're in danger here in this portal, so we should make strides - yes, that's the ticket, let's stride forward!" And with that she wrested the strange flag from Mame and strode off.

Calamity Jane piped up, "Where is this?" "Is it China?" queried georgeob1. "It's a portal", sighed jespah. "Don't you people ever listen? All day long I repeat myself on the same questions, over and over and over, typing and hitting Send, typing and hitting Send, typing and hitting Send...will it ever end?"

"Look, I'm tired of all this." cried Kicky. "First it's peeping Toms, then it's weird dates, now it's geography! Is nobody here SANE?"

"I am!" cried Montana. "I know all about peeping Toms because all my neighbours spy on me - maybe it's because I mow my lawn in the nude?"

"Okay, this is getting us nowhere", jespah declared. "Setanta, as our token male, masculine and manly, could you please take ehBeth's arm and lead us out of this portal?"

"I will take her arm, but I will NOT take off my hat", Setanta declared, and with that he

took ehBeth's arm with one hand, while grabbing the popcorn air popper with the other. He then leaned over to farmerman and whispered " you may think the air popper is lame, but that's simply your opinion, so if you really want to help, you can grab a bag of white popcorn for me, as you can see my hands are full".

farmerman laughed and said

"I'm afraid I don't have enough bags!" and his cackle reverberated for miles, waking up the Arks, a highly intelligent, indigenous tribe of

the people of the cave. And then, slowly, ominously, the sacred chant of the people of the cave, the one that all humanity is sick of hearing, except of course, the people of the cave, begins again...

...oooooooooooooohhhhh...what the hell...I be tellin' yooooo...what the hell...I be TELLin' yooooo...what the hell...I be tellin' yooooo...what the hell...I be TELLin' yooooo...what the hell...I be tellin' yooooo...what the hell...I be TELLin' yooooo...

Psst kicky.. [size=7]wrong thread[/size]

And out of the fog came a woman, Jennifer by name, singing:
And I am telling you
I'm not going.
You're the best man I'll ever know.
There's no way I can ever go,
No, no, no, no way,
No, no, no, no way I'm livin' without you.
I'm not livin' without you.
I don't want to be free.
I'm stayin',
I'm stayin',
And you, and you, you're gonna love me"

And she fixed her great big blue orbs on Kicky's face, biceps, stalwart thighs, and enticing nether regions and began in an alto,

"I will follow you, wherever you may go,
There isn't an ocean too deep, a mountain so high it can keep me away
I must follow you ever since you touched my hand I know
That near you I always must be and nothing can keep you from me
You are my destiny."

At this point, Kicky was dancing to a different beat and I noticed that he

had a gigantic sausage. In a bun, of course. He'd just bought one on the street from a stand after running from the freak who stood looking directly at him while singing that horrible "you're gonna love me" crap that Kicky hated. He'd just spent his last two dollars, but he didn't care. He was too hungry to care. His hunger was actually for Mame's womanly touch, but she would never leave dadpad, and Kicky knew damn well the only way he'd get dadpad out of the picture would be through the business end of a gun. He took a big bite, trying as best he could to satisfy his desire for Mame with the peppers and onions-slathered sausage sandwich. it was a poor substitute.

As he was ruminating on his pathetic love life, Osso appeared from the doorway of the portal. "Aren't you joining, us Kicky? I'm making some Italian mess of something for dinner and it's way too much for all of us."

"Speaking of weigh too much", began mac11, "I'm a fan of WW and I'll have you know, Osso, that you put way too much cream in that alfredo sauce."

Osso nods at mac11. Kicky looked at his sausage (in the bun, of course) and suddenly wasn't hungry anymore. Well, for sausage; he was still mad for Mame, of course! I mean, who wouldn't be??

He strode over to mac11, who was admiring his biceps and his stalwart thighs, and said, "

"Hey babe, you wanna see my sausage (in a bun, of course)"?

"How many points is it?, she demanded, as she got out her WW pocket points calculator.

As they bent their heads together, murmuring over various foods and points, a commotion in the background soon drew their attention. The Arks had squared off with the A2K mafia and it looked like the Arks were set to fight. Their weapons were superior, their strategy was indefensible, their youth unassailable...BUT they had no philosophers or political debaters quite like CI, Setanta, Francis, Cyclo, wandlew, etc. This wouldn't matter in the ordinary scheme of things, but since they were going to have a war of WORDS, they would LOSE, yes, LOSE!!

A cheer went up, a resounding cheer that was, accompanied by several A2K cheerleaders with pom-poms and the usual mini-skirts. By name, these were Diane, Dys (yes, Dys!), Osso, Chai, Tai Chi, JPB, Noddy24, of course, and various others.

At the start of the 'festivities', GreenWitch stepped out of her enclosed box seats and addressed the crowd:

"Ladies ladies [size=7]ladies[/size] ladies
and
gentlemen gentlemen [size=7]gentlemen[/size] gentlemen
Today I consider myself self [size=7]self[/size]
the luckiest A2Ker
on the face of the earth earth [size=7]earth[/size]."

"It's so, so beautiful." sniffed joefromchicago. "But dammit, vendor, I need a Fenway Frank and some of those nachos with the fake day-glo cheez on them."

"Sure thing, comin' right up." said the vendor, who was JPB.

But first, the Canadian national anthem!

panzade strode up the podium with his guitar, and Intrepid took the microphone. "Here's one for all you maple-leafed patriots.

Oh Canada
oh something something dream
we like to play hockey
and eat Edy's ice cream

Oh Canada
I'm mangling the anthem
Oh Cana-da-ah-ah
you oughta be in Wrentham."

He bowed deeply as the Canadians threw stuff (mainly white popcorn, and only some of it was already air-popped).

Bi-Polar Bear got up to sing the American anthem. "This ones for all you ladies. And Gus." He adjusted himself and then began.

"Oh say can it be
I've got postings to do
it's a topic on farts
and we might just mention pooh ..."

"Pooh?" yelled Setanta, "Pooh? Well, it's a damned good thing nobody can see my unnerwears, 'cause if folks knew i was wearing Winnie the Pooh shorts, i'd never hear the end of it. Now, I'd like to talk about Pooh, as in Pooh Bear, not to be confused with Bi-Polar Bear, who actually does like to talk about pooh... I'd like to give you all the history of Winnie the Pooh. It all started, not with A.A. Milne, as everybody thinks, oh no... this goes way back to Eleanor of Aquitaine's time...she was married to Henry the II at the time, if I recall correctly, and she was very involved in the Children's Reformation Act. That'd be, oh, around 1572 give or take a couple of months. She herself had 17 children, 4 of which died before they reached their majority, and she had trouble finding a decent nanny. Her best friend, Winnifred, who was married to the Lord Duke of Duckingham, had 15 of her own children. She used to bring them all over to have tea with Ellie, yes, that was her nickname, and all of her surviving children. It got quite noisy at times, so the two of them used to tell the kiddies stories. One of said stories was Winnie the Pooh. Oh yes, it was. I've done an awful lot of research on this and if you don't believe me, you're a moron, just like ckija! The main reason i know so much about this is that i began reading ancient history almost 50 years ago. So put that in your pipe and smoke it!"

At this, ckija climbed over several people, stood up on a soapbox and roared, "I challenge you to a gunfight! You are using my name in vain and you are the bigger moron!! I'll meet you tomorrow at dawn - name your second! I chose OmSigDavid as mine!" I noticed his mottled face was beet red, his eyes were bulging out of his head, and there were fleck of foam around his mouth. Not really a pretty sight.

The crowd grew noisy and Slappy started them chanting: Fight! Fight! Fight! Osso nods at Setanta. Noddy24 leaned over to Setanta and said, "Hold your Dominion, Set. We have faith in you."

Osso simply did not put cream in Alfredo, she only gave handed him the half and half...

Who the hell is it that Cjhsa is having a shoot out with? Not Setanta, surely? That would be too dangerous. It must be Shirley!! Shirley Shewolf, and her sidekick, Bella Dea, who slowly moves across the grassy plain and pulls up a chaise lounge, murmuring..

"Oh no, is Set all set to fight? Poor ehBeth! I mean, Set's all male, masculine and manly and all, but he lives in Canada where there are no guns ... his weapons are his words. cijka is gonna KILL him, slaughter him, even!" Osso nods at Bella and hangs tightly onto her cream.

"I'll be Set's second!" came a voice from the crowd, which slowly parted like the Red Sea to let him through. Appearing out of nowhere was Sir Francis of France. "I'll stand by you, Set. My family's Coat of Arms doesn't say "Chose paradoxale : c'est avec les gens intelligents qu'on déconne le mieux!" for nothing, you know! In English, that means: Paradoxical thing: it is with intelligent people that one talks cock best!" And he laughed maniacally while pounding on his chest.

"I'll be his third, or Sir Francis' second!" cried Occom Bill. Osso nods at Occom.

"No! You're not going to fight, Set!" cried ehBeth in a high, girly voice.

That's half and half..

CREAM!!!!!!!!!!

Eva steps forward out of the crowd, dips a well-manicured finger into the sauce, tastes it and says, "Osso is right, of course, this is not heavy cream. It is half and half. Speaking of which, is it half-time yet? I came to see the big, sweaty men fighting."

She opens the narrow drawstring bag she had slung over her shoulder and unfolds a portable chair. It is a chaise, really, complete with armrest drinkholders for her champagne. "Let's see now," she says, popping the cork on a bottle of bubbly, "where am I going to get a glass? I must have forgotten to pack one." Francis obliges, naturally, and offers to share his popcorn.

Settling back into her seat, Eva watches as...