Some military intelligence

S.H.I.T.
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FR: MANAGEMENT
RE: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all
employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more
S.H.I.T. than anyone else.


If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before
they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are
all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may
be interested in a job training others.

We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the
S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY
PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)