The Insult Chain Game

Barbeque???? Wow, sipping sterno mixed with Gatorade is what you and those other crumb bums call a BBQ? Color me surprised! I guess if you and those flea infested losers guzzle enough of that stuff you probably will be seeing boats, you pathetic lush.

Speaking of sterno, that reminds me, I should get my sterling chafing dishes polished before I host the next gathering of my DAR buddies.

Why do you need polished chafing dishes? The people in the Daughters of Aerosmith Roadies don't need such luxuries as silverware at their events. Just bring three 30-hamburger boxes and three or four boxes of Franzia wine and you'll be the life of the party.

I'm meeting several friends tomorrow night at the restaurant Calexico to celebrate National Taco Day.

Oh how cute, you've confused the DAR with that tiny group Daughters of Aerosmith Roadies, hahahaha hahahaha, those poor kids think the have fathers in show business. Well, Roadies are necessary, groupies are drug addled fans determined to get close to (here's where I get confused, I don't know what groupies want long term, I always thought they were unable to plan longterm)

So tzar, I hope you are not visiting Sturgis's sterno club, those guys have a ton of fun, but they never remember any of it.

Well I must get to sleep, Justin Beibers mother called, she's hoping I can roll him out of his closet so the paramedics can work their magic.

Bieber's mother called all right, but she said if she ever finds you supplying drugs to her son again, or anywhere near him, you're going to need paramedics after she rearranges your face, you depraved old bag.

My computer's still not working right and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Here's a tip, remember to pay your cable bill you gin soaked old lush. Oh, and when you sober up (figure the odds) see if you can find the on/off switch and make sure it's switched to the on position.

Well, it's my turn to stand guard duty for the neighborhood. I've got to find my night vision goggles before I head out. God bless America

That's not guard duty when you pull up a lawn chair and hold up a sign begging for money to supply your 'new and improved' neighborhood watch. We all know you take that money and use it over at the Chippendale's Club stuffing money into the undergarments of the male strippers there. Good heavens they're young enough to be your grandchildren! Have you no shame?

I hope my housekeeper shows up on time tomorrow there's quite a lot of work for her to get done before my cousin comes to visit this weekend.

I didn't think they'd let your active parole officer be related to you. Good for you on the cleaning up your life and home. Hope you stay on the straight and narrow this time.

I'm so proud of my two recent polls published on IMDb:
http://www.imdb.com/poll/5jEVoZQFNPA/?ref_=po_fp
http://www.imdb.com/poll/o1fRWt2B074/

You tend to be proud when you can figure out how to get out of bed in the morning without a direction chart, so locating a couple of polls that your Uncle Franz helped you put together must really be swelling your head.

I've really taken myself in a new direction recently and started seriously working my body into top notch shape so I can get back to my daily wanderings around town.

The "new direction" for you would be considered downhill for a normal person, and pushing yourself out of your cardboard box in the morning won't even get you in shape to wander to your favorite soup kitchens around town, you lazy bum.

I've got to run out to at least 4 stores.

Robbing four stores in a row? Make sure the nylon stockings you use as an improvised ski mask actually hides your face and also doesn't have a rip in it. Wearing ripped cheap nylon stockings is trashy as heck.


Going on an historic and literary sites open house walking tour in Brooklyn with some friends today. After that bbq for dinner at Hill Country restaurant.

After the thefts you and your buddies pulled at those same houses last year, they caught you on videotape, security has been beefed up, and they'll be waiting to arrest all of you as soon as you start the tour. That's what you get for being dumb enough to return to the scene of the crime. Somehow I don't think you'll enjoy a BBQ dinner at the Brooklyn House of Detention, you loser.

I'm very happy I found my missing sunglasses in my car. I had given up on finding them.

All you had to do was peel them off your butt, you've been sitting on them.

Back to repainting the hallway.

Wow, you're on work release AND you have computer access? Are you aching for a stint back in solitary you moonshine addled scoff law.

Since it's October, the government fiscal year! I'm hoping my position on the death panels will be funded for the rest of the year. I find the work so stimulating.

I found this old thread, we used to have a great time trying to come up with outrageous insults. Is anybody interested in reviving it? I was reading thru some old posts and they made me laugh out loud, AGAIN. It also reminded me of Dutchy, I loved his insults. I miss Dutchy, and the insults.

Sure sure you find it stimulating...or at least getting to try out the new chemicals the panel is considering for use. Just don't do like you did last time when you had all the 'stimulating' products shipped directly to your home (allegedly for further testing)


Really great weather lately I should take advantage of it before it gets too hot.

Kind of a moot point since your Bellevue Hospital psychiatrist revoked your outdoor exercise privileges for the next 6 months.

Looking forward to the Rifftrax live screening of The Room tomorrow night.

It's going to get hot all right, the FBI just left my house after triangulating your signal. How long have you been smuggling kittens into Canada, you miserable kitty snatching lush.

It was so lovey today, I wish I had a clothesline to dry my whiter than white sheets.

Sweetie, your sheets haven't been white since you were in your teens so many decades back. Then again there's not much need of sheets for you in that pigsty hovel of yours.


A simply wonderful and hypnotizing day. The perfect time for locating a spot along the river to take a snooze.

Oh thats just great, you rediscovered LSD you aging hippy. Waking up sleeping in a stream doesn't sound like you had a great trip, leave the mushrooms alone you drug addled slacker.

Its supposed to be lovely tomorrow, we plan on grilling some steaks and knocking back some brewskis. (I practically handed it to you)