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Should I leave him? Is this normal or not okay?

 
 
Reply Wed 8 Apr, 2015 04:58 pm
Should I leave him and what is his issue?
It's only been 6 months. In the beginning I felt like the happiest woman alive and I thought he was a dream come true. Now it's completely opposite.

There's so much that I've already dealt with that I can't remember half of it. He has said to me "I can write a whole list of what's wrong with you and you can't say anything about me". "You're an airhead, you're slow, shut the f*ck up, you need to see a doctor, my ex is better than you, I should've known better than to date someone younger than me, you're weak that's why you're always stressed about work, none of my friends like you, you're crazy and too emotional, get off of your birth control" and he pretty much has called me a hoe but won't flat out say it, he'll just talk down to me about my exes. He has no respect towards women, he believes were all stupid and hoes. He has never taken no as an answer when it came to sex, he has even gotten rough and has told me to shut up when I'm resisting. He has cursed out his mother, grandma and sister, and in the end said his sister deserved it. He never takes my emotions seriously. And while I was crying I told him "you talk down to me and you're mean" and he said "well it's not like everything I've said isn't true". And every time I go out without him he says things like "you're gunna **** somebody else" "I know how girls are" & everytime I've tried to leave he says " you're gunna be with a new guy by next month. I feel bad for you" . I have caught him in multiple lies, and he always tries his best to make me look bad. Especially on social media. He has ruined my self asteem and confidence. I've gotten so used to it that I'm pretty much blind at this point and I'm very to myself so I don't tell anybody these things. Everything always stays in my head and I always end up questioning if I'm just over dramatic or over emotional like he says. He's good at manipulating me into thinking different. I just need straight up advice from a stranger that won't sugar coat anything cause they're afraid of hurting my feelings. I'm in need of a real truthful answer because this has consumed my life and my thoughts and I've never dealt with somebody like this. Does it seem like he has issues?
 
jespah
 
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Reply Wed 8 Apr, 2015 05:04 pm
@Youwillneverknow ,
Issues are a nice way of putting it.

This guy is this close (holds thumb and forefinger less than an inch apart) to smacking you around.

This is not normal. It is not okay.

If you need permission to leave him, then consider it granted.

And then go away - if you have family or friends out of town, go visit them for a day or so. And get someone local to watch your place.

I ain't kiddin'. He sounds like the kind of guy who will trash your place or crash his car into yours.

If anything untoward like that happens, go to the cops and file a police report (and possibly even set a restraining order in motion). Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

And be happy that you didn't waste any more time with this potentially dangerous loser and that you didn't marry or have kids with him.
Butrflynet
 
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Reply Wed 8 Apr, 2015 05:11 pm
@jespah,
After you've done what Jespah suggests, please take some time for yourself to consider why it took six months of this treatment for you to finally realize you don't deserve to be treated this way. There are some very good lessons in all of this that you must understand and learn from to keep from repeating them throughout your young life.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
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Reply Wed 8 Apr, 2015 08:39 pm
Very often women who live with abusers begin to believe the bizarre accusations they yell at them. This is happening to you, right now. You now don't know what's real and what's not. He is brainwashing you!

You must get the courage to do what you KNOW what you should do!

Is there another adult who can help you get your sanity back/

0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
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Reply Wed 8 Apr, 2015 08:49 pm
@Youwillneverknow ,
Is this normal behaviour? no. It's nothing like normal behaviour.

It is not ok.

Please remove yourself from the situation as quickly and safely as you can.
0 Replies
 
Youwillneverknow
 
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Reply Wed 8 Apr, 2015 09:37 pm
Thank you for all the replies. It is well needed and really makes me realize. It's hard to understand this kind of situation when it's your first time going through it.
Butrflynet
 
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Reply Thu 9 Apr, 2015 12:39 am
@Youwillneverknow ,
There is no need to understand that kind of situation. Don't ever allow anyone to treat you that way no matter who they are. Just get the hell out of there asap.
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jespah
 
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Reply Thu 9 Apr, 2015 05:58 am
@Youwillneverknow ,
Take care of yourself. You can do this.
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ehBeth
 
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Reply Thu 9 Apr, 2015 08:12 am
@Youwillneverknow ,
Take good care of yourself.
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